You may remember Sonia Kruger here as Tina Sparkle from the Baz Luhrmann film Strictly Ballroom, a movie in which people who push the boundaries of ballroom dance are viewed with wariness and suspicion.

Celebrities Attend Crown Oaks Day
That is a bit how I feel about Sonia pushing the boundaries of millinery — this is less a hat or a fascinator than it is a very elaborate eye patch, for the romantic pirate blooming within. But at least it goes thematically with the dress, which evokes a turret window in a Barbie Dream Castle. Barbie would be all about an ocularly floral pirate kidnapping her from her tower and treating her to a class in flower arranging on the high seas.
However, a right eye in full blossom does not compare to an entire tree. To paraphrase the cherished Australian hero Mick “Crocodile” Dundee, that’s not a hat…

Celebrities Attend Crown Oaks Day

… THAT’S a hat. I do not know who these ladies are — they were tagged as “racegoers” — but I salute them both for finding a creative way to recycle somebody’s wedding flowers. And all evidence points to the fact that the lady on the right can sneeze miniature versions of Sonia’s fascinator. Let’s see you do THAT, Turret Barbie, with your plugged rubber nostrils.