Okay, okay. So you guys kept TELLING ME I had to watch The Voice, so I could see what the hell Xtina was doing to herself. (Also, because it’s entertaining.) And I was all, “yeah, yeah. How much crazier could she look? Do you REMEMBER the Firecrotch Jumpsuit?”

And then I turned it on, and this slapped me in the face like an angry Joan Collins on a third season episode of Dynasty:

photo Christina Aguliera The Voice Hair

This is what would happen if cotton candy had a baby with Gary Oldman in Dracula.