High Fugshion: Menswear Lowlights


By far, menswear is the most hilarious thing that has ever happened on a fashion runway, and that includes every Baby Phat show I ever attended.

[Photos: Getty]

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Comments (53):

  1. MollyMonster
    +22

    Holy cow, I just don’t…and…but… WORDS.

    Mindboggling, hideous and more WORDSYWORDS. Does male modeling pay a lot because if I were a dude, you’d have to pay me A LOT^INFINITY to put on any of those hiddy rags.

    •  HelenBackAgain
      +1

      It does not pay a lot, and, just like with female models, though runway garners exposure, print/film modeling pays a LOT more than runway. A male model can eke out a living at it, but generally, they’re supplementing other income. Yep, even ones who look like these.

  2. LoriK
    +22

    I would pay cash money to see Hipster Zorro. It would be hilarious.

  3. Reg
    +5

    OMG! My eyes are bleeding. What is going on with men fashion????
    Also – why so many flower prints? On men. Couchy flower prints everywhere! ON MEN! I need to meet a man that will wear a flower print, just to pick his brain for the strategy behind it.

    •  Christa
      +7

      I never thought I would say this, but THANK GOD FOR WRANGLERS!

    •  Elbyem
      +4

      It’s okay in Hawaii, or on other Polynesian-type atolls…but that’s IT. Nowhere else. Period.

  4.  Stefanie
    +3

    What in the hell???? On the plus side…at least most of these fellas are giving great face/body. /objectifying

    Also, Baby Phat. LOL, MEMORIESSSS.

  5. Cristina
    +9

    The Biebs marrying a cardboard cutout of himself and ye olde tyme strongman jokes killed me.

  6. Sandra
    +11

    Yeah, me too. This is freakin’ hilarious. I know that with the exception of about a dozen guys in LA and maybe 8 or so in NYC, nobody in the USA would wear this stuff. What about the menfolk in other FugNation member states? Would European, Asian, non-US North American, South American, or African guys wear this sh!t? I don’t need to ask about Australia because I already know that Peter Allen is dead, I believe Dame Edna WOULD wear it, and everyone else would laugh themselves sick.

  7. Maria L.
    +14

    For the life of me, I cannot figure out how the majority of these dudes can manage to walk the runway with a straight face. I certainly could not observe the show with a straight face. I would explode.

  8. Other Emily
    +15

    Holy shit, Girls. Maybe your best slideshow commentary ever. I had to close my office door. Obviously Armani is the only one with anything close to menswear for actual, human men, but even there: ankle-length pants are NOT FOR MEN. Speaking as a lady lawyer who does hiring: I already have extreme prejudice against young women in formal shorts. If a MAN shows up in a shorts-suit, I will…..I don’t even know. It will be bad. Unacceptable.

    Hot bods in the latter half of the slideshow, though, so that’s a plus. The first half look vaguely undead.

    •  kimmy
      +3

      Agreed. Those are some skinny white boys at the beginning.

    •  HelenBackAgain
      +6

      The first half look vaguely undead.

      Yes. And eerily as if perhaps their eyes have been removed.

  9.  HelenBackAgain
    +6

    I think it’s entirely likely that Guy Fieri WILL wear that sushi sweatshirt. And if he doesn’t, someone on the Food Network will!

    • Sajorina
      +9

      Alton Brown?

    •  HelenBackAgain
      +6

      The rest just pretty much burned out my eyeballs. I remember agreeing on the SWINTON bat-signal assessment, and that the one show (its opening maybe?) looked like an Herbal Essences commercial – in a Vegas drag club… then it all goes blank and I need coffee and a hug.

      • Sajorina
        +5

        I’m thinking Ted Allen would totally pull the sushi sweater off! And I would love to see Gabriel Mann as Nolan wear the whole green outfit on “Revenge” or just to celebrate St. Patrick’s! He would rock the hell out of it!

    • ericajeanine
      +2

      I really want that sushi sweatshirt for myself.

  10. Sajorina
    +4

    WTF people of Paris? Armani is GREAT, but what’s up with everybody else? I admit that I would love to own the coat on pic #4 myself and I would love to wear a flowery couch, but I’m a WOMAN!

  11.  kimmy
    +5

    1. Sombrero.
    2. I really hope the pants on the green suit zip off at the knee. So much more versatile.
    3. I secretly love sushi sweater.

    • Katty McNiley Ripley
      +2

      Yes, I actually find it kind (crazy)amazeballs the sushisweater!

      Also the tiny itsy bitsy flower thong with the tucked, open to the crotch shirt is not just WORDS, but WORDS!

  12. Nancy
    +2

    Oh my stars! How I love you Fug Girls, I was distraught over Roger Federer crashing out of Wimbledon but I daresay this has brought a smile back to my face. A gazillion thank you’s to the Fug Girls. These photos are my second favorite ( NOTHING, but NOTHING tops last years “Well played, Olympian Abs”).

  13. ErinE
    +6

    For me, the worse part was all of the awful mandals (man sandals), especially paired with the pasty white legs! I hate gross man sandals!!!!!!

    •  HelenBackAgain
      +4

      Living in the desert, I can’t get worked up over mandals. They’re a necessity here, for all but about 3-4 months of the year!

      But these ones are UGLY. They can be made to look a lot better.

    • nazzy
      +7

      Those *were* some powerfully white legs, weren’t they? Perhaps it would have looked better if the designer had looked into models blessed with a bit more melanin?

      (Who am I kidding? There’s no saving those rags)

  14. Fawn
    +3

    Friday fun! That hilarity just made my day :)

  15. EmilyAP
    +15

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA *deep breath*
    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

  16. Tiffany
    +11

    I totally disrupted my office when I read the catheter comment! You guys are so funny, I love it!

  17. cynicalsmirk
    +7

    LOL!! This IS a joke, right? No man I know would wear ANY of this, and I’m a retired dancer. Well, except for the silk floral pajamas. They would be a huge hit. Oh, and our neighbourhood transvestite, 65 years old if he’s a minute, has already worn slide 24 waiting for the bus :)

  18. joemama
    +14

    Oh Fug Gals…You WIN with this slideshow commentary. Also, why do fashion houses hire girl models with the bodies of pre-pubescent boys but dress their male models as women? ”Doesn’t anybody notice this? I feel like I’m taking crazy pills!”

  19. ceecee
    +2

    Dude in the grass skirt is on his way to his wedding at a Jimmy Buffet concert. Pass the margaritas!

  20. Shanti
    0

    I think slide 6 ripped off Yoko Ono and her scary mesh “menswear”.

  21. porchswing
    +1

    Oh, thank you thank you thank you. It’s been a long day and the laughs were so needed.

  22. Robin
    0

    I’m working hard to find something positive besides the Giorgio Armani in pic 11 (pretty good actually) and the nice cheekbones. Hmm… umm… I want the sandals from the Vivienne Westwood show for myself? Those turquoise flip flops are very pretty.

  23. lemonbluefish
    +1

    I can die now. I agree that I secretly like the sushi sweatshirt (on him, not on me). The floral clothes were wonderful, and I personally wouldn’t mind seeing them on men, but I don’t know any men that would wear them, not even gay men. That man with the green man panties certainly has fabulous legs.

  24. Holly Hamilton
    +5

    I have finally realized why models all have the same expression, a disassociation with anything to do with their outfit.

  25. Debbie
    +1

    Oh my goodness….you’ve made me laugh so hard my stomach muscles hurt!!! I was having a horrible day til I read this! THANK YOU.

  26. esther p.
    +2

    i kinda want the Swinton Bat Signal jacket. it would be great just walking around Target like that.

    also, slide 28 thighs; it’s the first thing my eyes focused on. well, maybe the second thing …

  27. mwk
    0

    I actually quite like the top half of the Hazmat.

    Shame about the shorts.

  28. Chris P
    +1

    Slide 20: No, but Anna Wintour would.

    In Kanye West’s size.

    Slide 27: YEEZY WOULD NEVER.

    The bottom would have to be leather tights. And a skirt kilt.

    Slide 28: YEEZY WOULD NEVER (BUT HONESTLY HE SHOULD).

  29. Miss Jane
    +5

    I’ll fight the guy in slide 8 for that scarf. And I’ll fight those guys in slide 12 for, um, a totally legitimate reason I just haven’t thought of yet…

  30. TonyG
    +1

    Wow! If you’re going to have a show with so many shorts, get some guys with some beefier legs. This was hideous not only because of the clothes, but because the legs looked like ice pop sticks and were utterly distracting.

  31.  Mia
    +1

    Holy cow, I’m not much of a LOL-er, but those pictures did, especially the last three. Sigh. Good times.

    Also, I love oxfords, but I HATED those on the Armani models. I think they were even chunkier than Doc Martens.

  32. LisaJ
    0

    That spacesuit one made me laugh so hard. This is like some kind of crazy Village People tryout. Is all men’s couture fashion like this!?

  33. jean
    +1

    Slide 28–That guy is WORKING it! Short end of the fashion stick and he, um, rises to the occasion.

  34. HKS
    +1

    Well, there are about 4 in the middle that are pretty good, not-too-crazy: The Ermanno (hehe Ermanno!) ones and the Armani ones. The rest: I don’t understand fashion. At all. Will people wear anything like this in real life? Even in places like Paris on NY or LA? I promise if I saw a man wear something like this in real life, I will point and laugh in his face. And then I’ll feel bad, because I’d assume he lost a bet.

  35. Bambi Anne Dear
    0

    Scervina and Armani clothes are excellent. I love 28 and 29. I truly do. Streetwear somewhere very hot.