Heather Fugiss


I can’t even:

There are some outfits I see in our photo subscription and the MOMENT I see them I am magically transported three days into the future, where I am standing outside my mailbox flipping to the back page of Us Weekly to see who ended up in Fashion Police, because there is SIMPLY NO WAY this won’t make their five worst of the week.  It just can’t miss. She’s going to be sandwiched between, like, some cracked out thing Adrienne Bailon wore for attention and Rosario Dawson’s boobs. There will be one joke involving either “tone-deaf” or “out of tune” or “this doesn’t make me very Glee-ful” and I will totally read this and nod and be all, “OH RIGHT, she DID wear that. She looks like she just spent three hours working the dunk tank at the local elementary school carnival, but instead of water, the dunk tank was full of someone’s Goodwill donations,” and then my neighbor will walk by and be like, “who are you talking to?” and I will scurry back into my cave to read more about Kim and Kanye in peace. Can’t wait for you to get here, Saturday.

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Comments (38):

  1. Mahastee
    0

    Longer hair really suits Robyn.

  2. maryse
    0

    well that is certainly crazypants

  3. cathy
    0

    this thing makes HER body look bad…i rest my case

  4. Willow
    0

    She is trying to wear at least 5 different outfits at the same time.

  5. I.K.
    0

    Aw man..at least she’s still totally adorable and smiling.

  6. margaret
    0

    Looks like she’s going on a trip and trying to get out of using a suitcase–just bringing everything she might need, on her body.

  7. TheReset
    0

    as;fuao8wu9Y(&TY({#POJghsdfhSDJF-0]Q3I

    SHE BROKE MY BRAIN

  8. Billie
    0

    I just, sometimes I really just don’t get it. How on earth do you put this whole getup on, look in the mirror and say ‘I look fantastic! Can’t wait to traipse in front of all those cameras so the tabloids and gossip mongers can see how cute I am!’ There is no way she looked in a mirror. Right?

  9. gryt
    0

    She obviously got dressed in the dark.

    Also, the rigging of that skirt reminds me of when one’s skirt gets caught in the pantyhose and one shows one’s arse (never happened).

  10. TaraMisu
    0

    I think I’m speechless……

  11. Molly
    0

    I’m pretty sure she stole that out of my age-5 dress up box.
    That is a dangerous slope, ladyfriend.

  12. zah
    0

    pattern on the skirt is cute….?

  13. Stefanie
    0

    You CAN NOT tell me she actually looked at this thing and said “OH THAT IS CUTE! I think Il’ll pair it with socks and platform mary janes! Oh yes, I look fab!”

    Whatever lady. Way to TRY to get our attention.

    • Carol
      0

      The socks are inexcusable. Black ankle socks. I can’t think of anything that works with black ankle socks, unless you are a man, 100 years old, wearing mandals, plaid shorts belted high on your torso, and a short-sleeved shirt in a different plaid.

  14. Katharine
    0

    It’s like lookbook threw up on her. Complete with the most cracktacularly uncomfortable model of Jeffrey Campbell stupid shoes.

  15. Erin
    0

    I just don’t understand. To have a body like that and put THAT on it…

  16. McLisa
    0

    The homeless woman at my laundromat last night was wearing this exact same ensemble.

  17. Werml
    0

    Ummm, this is performance art. She’s evoking the “Joy of the Mullett”

  18. Jen from cincy
    0

    The top part of it looks like she has layered two different bathing suits. Is this a new trend? I am scared.

  19. Cranky Old Batt
    0

    This is March Madness material right here!

    • Valeria
      0

      !! Well, it ‘s do darn early yet — hard to know if Heather’s decision to come out early with a strong bid for a seed in the 2013 tourney will be remembered and earn her a place or whether she made her move just too soon.

  20. Lisa
    0

    This could be the most hideous combination of things ever. It’s like a troll barfed up all the ugly and made her wear it. How would you even think about walking out of the house in that?

  21. SaraK
    0

    She either 1) lost a bet, or 2) is so desperate for media coverage that she’s deliberately aiming to appear on both this site and Us Weekly, plus about 4 million fashion blogs with 5 readers each. Or she’s mentally ill, which would be sad and I hope she gets the help she needs.

    I really hope it’s #1, so she can turn out to be fun and awesome and a good sport with a great sense of humor.

    • filmcricket
      0

      My mind went immediately to the “lost a bet” place, too. I’d seen some video of this event where she’s sitting down so the shoes and socks were on full, horrendous display, but I had no idea the rest of the outfit was so totally cracked. What even.

  22. lettucecup
    0

    I love how she thought to add a belt. Like that somehow completed the outfit. lol and omg

  23. yeahandalso
    0

    when I found out she was a lesbian her fashion choices suddenly made so much more sense

  24. Melissa
    0

    This had to be a dare, right?

    PS yeahandalso: not cool.

  25. Jaybee
    0

    i was sorta half smiling and I actually felt my face frown instinctively followed by my brain blocking out every other thought with a very loud OH NO. poor thing. hopefully it’ll help her in fug madness at least.

  26. hippetyhop
    0

    How come her hair didn’t get invited to the party?

  27. KatKenSea
    0

    AAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

  28. Bambi Anne Dear
    0

    I think she did this on purpose.

  29. Sajorina
    0

    I just said “God, NOOOOOO!” out loud! Someone may need to be commited against her will…

  30. Clarisse
    0

    Don’t these people pay for stylists to dress them? Shame on you glee person whose name I can’t remember….

    http://www.ramblingmuse.com

  31. Ms.A
    0

    Holy shitfug! Disaster!

  32. Caroleena Stantonova
    0

    She must have lost a bet, and HAD to wear this stuff.