Usually, 90210’s Shenae Grimes is all about weird mini-dresses and fugly knee socks, or lace leggings, or whatever, but lately she’s been doing a bit of a different look.
Something about how relaxed this is kind of works for me — her hair suits it, the belt is eye-catching and matches the vibe, she’s fresh-faced, and she’s not dripping with mega-bling. But I can’t escape the notion that she’s about to knock on my door and try to sell me The Jesus Junkets: Third Time’s The Charm, full of Gospels written by apostles who swear Jesus played defensive line for the Steelers in the ’70s before retiring and working as a hairdresser in Venice Beach.
But regardless of how you feel about it, that outfit is a cool breeze on a sweltering summer day compared to this insanity:
Let’s examine the last few times we’ve seen denim shorts so tiny that you could see the pocket flaps: when Britney wore the same pair for like three weeks in a row during one of her downward spirals, and when Donna Martin went off to college and cut off her hair and bleached it and then proceeded to have a new hairdo and color every six months for the show’s remaining years. Those are not role models, Shenae; those are troll models. Also, I’m fairly sure the tube top underneath is actually just one of those semi-bra strapless camisoles that spends about 30 seconds supporting the girls and the rest of the time betraying them like an archrival with a jones for their boyfriend, and the bathrobe was last spotted on Dorothy Zbornak. So basically, Shenae here is a very rare creature indeed: a sexageteenian, a.k.a., sixty and a teen all at once. That must be hard. So if she smells suspiciously of denture paste and insists on making soy-wheatgrass smoothies that are Werther’s Original flavored, please have patience with her. The child needs help.
