Grammys Fug and Fab and Unfug and Hmmm Weekend: Jennifer Hudson


There’s something kind of awesome about Jennifer Hudson wearing a Victoria Beckham design to the Grammys, and I think it is this: We’re all so accustomed to Posh’s sample-sized frame that it’s refreshing to know she can design something that fits a normal human body. And for the most part, I think Jennifer Hudson — whom I almost accidentally called Jennifer Love Hudson right now, for which J.Hud maybe ought to slap me — looked great in this.

However, I have questions.

1) Is that not a wee tight across her boobs?
2) I get that black tights theoretically complete the sleekness of the look, but might this have been better if she’d just gone bare-legged? 
3) Is that a sweat stain underneath her right armpit? If so, then I am surprised she didn’t notice, and stood that way — usually when you are pitting out, you can feel it — and if is merely designed to LOOK that way, then OH VICKY, what were you thinking? Faux-perspiration is not posh.
4) Now that I look at it: Does Jennifer kind of look like she’s wearing a waist apron, as if she is slinging hash in the world’s most formal greasy spoon?
5) Are you as fascinated by her bang-piece as I am? 
Do the questions stop here? What do YOU think?

WHY did Jennifer change into this significantly less flattering black number for the Michael Jackson tribute? Don’t you think she even looks, facially, like she is having a WTF moment? Don’t you want to race up there and grab her by the shoulders and be like, “You have made a terrible mistake,” and then show her this photo of herself from the night before?
Because don’t you think that, even though this may not be perfection (like, is that an ear-mic cord running down her cleavage?!?), it’s at least more flattering than the black thing? And a prettier color, and so shiny? And so much better than THIS shiny thing that she wore on the red carpet earlier on that evening?
Is that PURPLE LEATHER, the color of which reminds me of nothing so much as a bag of Easter M&Ms? Is that what our favorite egg-hiding bunny’s mother wore to its wedding? Is a random rabbit going to pop out of her cleavage and try to stuff Jennifer into a basket full of plastic grass? Are the puffy sleeves depressed and giving up on life, or did she leave the house without fully inflating them? Should I be able to tell that it has a corset? Why can I see the lower contours of her boobs? Why is it that I watched three hours of Lost last night and I still can’t totally remember what happened? Is this dress the Nikki and Paolo of Grammy weekend, a.k.a., something that will disappear forever in a moment, annoy us whenever we remember it once existed, and live out its days buried under a pile of sand on Zuma Beach, never to be discovered by anyone? Is it wrong that I hope for that?

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Comments (455):

  1. Tasha
    0

    I think most of these outfits would go from mostly “eh” to awesomeness if they fit better. For three of the four, I wish she’d just have gone up a size.

  2. Dawn
    0

    Bang Piece=My College Nickname.

  3. Bob
    0

    I don’t think that’s a earpiece cord. It looks like boob to me.

  4. JESR
    0

    One criticism; one solution: too tight; one size up.

  5. boo
    0

    Dawn-HAHAHA

    Love the tights, love the bangs, hate the apron

  6. Holly
    0

    I am likewise confused about her bangs. Are bangs supposed to wrap around the entire front half of your cranium?
    I think the second (black) performance dress would’ve been salvageable if she’d just gone up a size; it’s cutting into her flesh the way my high-waisted polyester work pants cut into mine. I can only imagine the terrible indents she must’ve had around her waist after taking that thing off.
    I do love the first dress though, it seems like it could easily transition from a red carpet look to a french maid fantasy look. This is not a terrible thing to me.

  7. wakeupmaggie
    0

    I really like the Beckham dress on her. I agree that she has either a pit stain or an unfortunate napping of fabric under her right arm, but I think it’s bearable.

    Since the dress is a Becks dress it pushes up her boobs as much as these dresses also do for Victoria. They aren’t pancaked and she doesn’t appear to be in danger of a nipple slip. What more could any curvy woman ask of a dress?

    I think the black tights work much better than sheer. The black lengthens her while sheer might only serve to stumpify her frame. I think she is accessorized brilliantly and I love the bang with this look. I wouldn’t have thought someone with her body shape could pull this off as well as Posh. J. Hud looks fabulous!

    I’m not going anywhere near the purple leather.

  8. dinsdale
    0

    Wow. I think I have whiplash from looking at those dresses. I voted with the majority: Beckham dress, best; purple leather, worst. And it is instructive because both pieces are tight and fitted. The purple one needs to be an inch or two shorter and fit to her figure better. And the shoulders? Why? The black gown is pretty bad, too. the fish tail thing isn’t doing her any favors.

  9. Peony
    0

    The bang piece reminds me that I need to sweep my kitchen floor.

  10. Leti
    0

    I almost pit J.Hud for wearing her second Grammys dress. Zoe Saldana was perfection in the silver version of this dress, and if it were me, I wouldn’t want to draw any comparisons. That said, though I’m not usually a fan of peplums, I think the VB dress is so flattering b/c it nips in her waist, and the pepulm hides her problem area.

  11. Firstie
    0

    My issue with J-Hud is that she seems to have an affinity for Gaga-like structured sleeves.

    Now, not to hate on the bigger girls, but I just think J-Hud has so much going on (in an awesome way!) that a puffy sleeve, structured skirt-piece, etc., just look bulky on her and don’t show off her best assets.

    On the flip side, if she stuck to sleeker silhouettes in fun prints/color with fun accessories, she could still flatter her body and express her “funkier” side.

    This is my verdict and I’m sticking to it.

  12. Lauren
    0

    I am desperately wanting a pair of shoes like she’s wearing with the Beckham dress. Only not ones that cost $800. Does anyone have any suggestions where I can find shoes like those for us non celebs?? I see celebs wearing shoes like this all the time and I need some!!

  13. MrsJulian
    0

    I think she looks fabulous and I even kind of like the purple leather. Okay maybe not so much with the shoulders, but still she looks fabulous.

    On a sidenote, I don’t really like the whole opaque tights instead of hose with heels look but since it is in fashion at the moment, I am working it for all the comfort it is worth at my job.

  14. djheydt
    0

    To me that first outfit looks not like a waitress’s uniform, but that of a French maid in a sleazy burleycue skit. There’s nothing wrong with a female looking like a female, but that dress takes it too far. It makes someone who is probably a perfectly nice person look like an inflated sex doll, and if you stuck a pin in her she would collapse. That’s just wrong.

    The other dresses are better, but that’s not saying much. The middle one (the long blue one) is probably the best of the lot.

  15. Valentina
    0

    I hate black tights; they ruin almost every look, specially when paired with black clothes like the Beckham. I threw all my black tights away, except the patterned/fishnet ones.

  16. MN
    0

    None of these dresses did much for me. None of them were overly offensive either. This is the problem I generally have with Jennifer Hudson’s outfits. None are memorable in a good or bad way.

    That said, I like the first one best. Sure, it could have been a better fit, it wasn’t horrid. She could have gone with bare legs, but it might have ruined the sleek look of the entire thing.

    The worst was the purple leather thing. I don’t know… for me, leather is something I prefer in basic colors and the things on her shoulders were scary.

  17. anony2
    0

    I agree with almost everything wakeupmaggie said.

    I’m shocked how flattering the Beckham dress is on a real figure. Would love to see her in another one, actually.

  18. Janellionaire
    0

    I have to agree with Tasha, 3 of 4 dresses would be vastly improved by going up a size, although she is rocking the Beckham. And in the spirit of commenting on other comments: Dawn – “Bang Piece, my college nickname”? I peed a little. Holly – where you wrote “I can only imagine the terrible indents around her waist” I first read “incidents.” I think both are applicable, but my way is more descriptive. And Djheydt, I don’t know what burleycue is, and I think you meant burlesque, but now I really crave some sexy riblets.

  19. Wholesome1
    0

    JH looks great even though the dress is a tad too tight and the hose are a bit too opaque. I even like the apron : )

  20. Wholesome1
    0

    JH looks great even though the dress is a tad too tight and the hose are a bit too opaque. I even like the apron : )

  21. china
    0

    I don’t think it’s a pit stain. It looks more to me like an optical illusion caused by light from a flash reflecting off the satiny, ribbony part of the bodice.

  22. vandalfan
    0

    Dawn, you card!

    I too am bothered by her severe bang piece. I really like the dark tights and do not think bare-legged would be the way to go with Beck’s apron skirt thingie. The sleeves on both other dresses are unnecessary, but I lurve the sparkle, so that’s my favorite.

    And the purple leather dress calls for some whack-a-doodle shoes, not those ordinary, comfy pumps.

  23. Sarah
    0

    I think the Beckham is too tight across the EVERYTHING. I like the black tights with it, though – I agree with the person above who said that going sheer would probably stumpify her.

    That sparkly number is magnificent, boob cord or no.

  24. The Other Molly
    0

    I’m not surprised Jennifer Hudson’s boobs look all mashed down in the Beckham outfit.
    That is what Vic Beckham’s boobs look like in almost everything she wears.
    The Beckham outfit looks like something Jane Jestson would wear.
    I thought the second dress was the most flattering and the purple leather was a monstrosity.

  25. Loren
    0

    Def. the Becks dress is the best. Unfortunately, the “pit-stain” seems so symmetrical that it can’t be real but I just looked up a photo of Blake Lively in the same dress and she’s not as “pitacular.” Uh-oh. Anyway, I think she looks great. The tights can stay or go IMO. The other dresses, they can go. The black would have been better if it were up a size and had lost the stupid fishtail hem and just flowed out gracefully.

  26. Bindy
    0

    I HATE the Beckham dress. I HATED it on Posh, Boobs Legsly and I HATE it on JHud. It DOES look lie a waitress uniform. In fact, I wore that same apron 100 years ago when I was a waitress at Steak and Ale.

  27. Connie
    0

    I like the black performance dress. I would have walked the red carpet in that one and saved the Beckham dress for performance. Hate the blue one. Not flattering. The purple one reminds me of the original Batman costume back when Danny Devito played the Penguin, so I can’t hate.

  28. Eleemo
    0

    I’m not sold on the purple upholstery dress, and I think she could go up a size in the MJ tribute dress. But those are minor quibbles, because Holy Schnapple, J Hud has a rocking figure in ALL of those dresses. Seriously. Even if they aren’t good looking, she is wearing those suckers and not letting them wear her. And her chest is what Katy Perry wishes she had going on in her glitter dress. Well played indeed, Jennifer. Care to share a plate of burlyque ribs later?

  29. testingtont
    0

    Ugh, I kinda forgot she existed and stole an Oscar from any number of deserving women who actually act instead of just being overweight, looking sad and singing really, really well.

    They’re all kinda boring and not very flattering dresses, she should ask Queen Latifa to help her get dressed next timw

  30. GFY Jessica
    0

    I just totally burst out laughing at Dawn.

  31. Foo
    0

    Now this makes me much less cranky. :)

    I think she’s great and looks great. I would agree about up a size on the 2nd and the last looks like she might have cut it out from Prince’s couch. (after eating pancakes and now “f” your couch popped in my head, lol) Don’t like the puff sleeves on 2 or 4, but quite frankly envy having the problem of things being too tight on your chest.

    #1 and #3 are both excellent looks for her.

  32. Claire's mom
    0

    #1: looks awesome in this (and I think the lacquered bangs work for some bizarre reason) – the pit “stain” looks very uniform upon inspection, which, I don’t know how to feel about. Perhaps Poshie was trying to pre-empt the nervous ladies wearing this, which is thoughtful of her, even if the execution is confusing. Bare legs may have been better, but her lady pillows are fine (or, I’ve seen worse).

    #2: Waa waa waaaaaaa

    #3: Oooh, shiny and sparkly and a pretty color, but I think 3/4 or long sleeves would flatter her more.

    #4: Wow, that’s a whole lotta 80′s purple leather dress. A decade that’s funny to laugh at unless you lived through it; otherwise, it’s just painfully embarrassing.

  33. Sarah
    0

    Ok so maybe I’m tripping out but I enjoy the purple leather number. I’d wear it. It’s kicky and purple is my favourite colour and it’s badass without becoming blah ah la Jolie.

    MY THOUGHTS.

  34. Danielle B
    0

    Fair enough. That purple leather one really did make me go “Hmmmm.” And audibly. My roommate may or may not suspect that I am now schizophrenic. Anyway.

    Say what you will, it’s a bold choice and even though it didn’t totally work out, I LOVE that Jennifer Hudson is making bold choices.

  35. Samara
    0

    So, SO in love with the purple leather.
    Seriously.
    Sarah understands where I am coming from here.
    That is all.

  36. Kates
    0

    And here I thought that the first outfit was 100% guaran-damn-teed to draw a ‘fug.’ Really? We’re okay with the Star-Trek-Waitress-in-Mourning ensemble?

    My brain is already so confused by last night’s Lost premiere that this might put me over the edge. I must insist on a FUG for number one.

    The purple sparkly thing, however: love. Minus the ear mic. And the purple Tinky-Winky-In-a- Leather-Bar number has got to go.

  37. Anna
    0

    Yeah I actually kind of dig the purple leather…

  38. Lex
    0

    i’m pretty sure that the beckham was worn by blake lively. either that or something extremely similar to it…strange choice to outfit repeat at the grammys huh?

  39. lawyergirl77
    0

    Still laughing at Dawn’s comment. + however-many-strands-are-in-la-Hud’s-bang-piece for you, Dawn.

    I voted for the purple sparkly ’cause it looks like it would be (relatively) comfy and move well on stage.

    And I can see that the purple leather dress could actually be quite fab… without the ferkakte sleeves. I just wanna run up to her with scissors (which has been my feeling for a lot of the dresses this year)

  40. Lulu
    0

    I’m too thrilled to see her in relatively high-fashion clothes – and showing off her body and legs – that I think all of the outfits totally rock! She makes me wanna go out and buy something beautiful and fitted and sexy and go out and party like I’m a supermodel (um, except I would eat)!

  41. Anonymous
    0

    Oh MY GOD YOU GUYS that Posh dress does not fit the poor girl at all. That underbust bib seam thingy is cutting up into her bust. The top armscye is digging into her arm and the underside gusset/pitstain area is totally standing away from her armpit. the apron is riding up toward her waistband. The skirt is riding up in the center. All of this is the fabric’s mute, desperate plea for just a few inches of additional ease. Won’t someone please listen to the fabric???

    The only one that fits is the purple sparkly thing. And J-Hud, I feel you. It sucks that you can’t get these things tailored to fit you because the seam allowances are insufficient to cover your glorious curves. You need a dressmaker on staff to sew for your body. Call me!

  42. DIANE
    0

    I love Jennifer. I still get a thrill watching her sing And I Am Telling You in Dreamgirls. So she gets an automatic pass from me. Where whatever you want, grrl!!

  43. Victoria Blecham
    0

    Wow, I HATED that Beckham dress. It was too tight and so freakin’ ’80′s. I have a dress just like that which I wore to every company Christmas party for like 4 years in a row (geez, I was changing jobs a lot then), then I loaned it to my friend and she wore it to her company Christmas party. They were not yet “holiday” parties back in the politically incorrect ’80′s. Instead of that fug apron, my dress had a hideous sideways bow at the waist. And I wore those stupid opaque tights and black pumps, too.

    I thought both of the performance dresses were OK. I really didn’t mind that black one. And I’m even willing to forgive the lavender leather thing – she’s lost a lot of weight, she wants to show it off. I get it. We all make those kind of mistakes in our twenties – sort of like the girl who got a boob job and nose job and wore exactly that same shade of lavender leather in mini and matching bolero to my brother’s 10 year high school reunion.

    Oops – sorry – lavender leather tangent there.

    The one I cannot forgive is the “Blech-ham.” What am I missing here?

  44. shanghaishrimpo
    0

    YES, The Other Molly! Jane Jetson!

  45. Dina
    0

    The Posh dress almost gets there, but I think the length is wrong. Also, no on the bare legs for that one.

  46. Gball
    0

    I can’t tell the difference between her and MPHO anymore.

  47. Blanche
    0

    I just wanted to say thanks for the Britney Spears monologue. Almost as excellent as the LJo monologues.

  48. Anonymous
    0

    there’s some sort of weird colour theme going on here. She wore a purple outfit and changed into another purple outfit, then she wore a black outfit and changed into a another black outfit… honey you don’t need to keep to one colour per night!

  49. Ginger
    0

    I think we’re missing the point of the first outfit. ARE THEY TRIB TWOS? BECAUSE THEY ARE AWESOME.

    As a fan of stockings that disguise the fact I have overhang on my otherwise ok legs, I am ok with the tights. I would have been more ok with sheerer seamed tights and less bangs.

    However, she is all kinds of gorgeous.

  50. Sara
    0

    I agree with @china. I don’t think it’s a stain either – the shape of the “sweat stain” looks like it’s the light reflecting off her bangles. Or the bangles creating a shadow? It’s also possible that there’s something in the foreground that we can’t see, but that’s casting a shadow there based on the photogs location/flash angle.

    I don’t know, I failed the test on light refraction in high school physics. My argument is just not sweat and not dress construction.

    Speaking of Posh – she was so Major in the 2nd half of Tuesday’s American Idol. She looked like a cross between a Qin Dynasty warrior crossed with a member of the glorious race featured on the short lived early 90′s show, Alien Nation. (Which, incidentally, starred a young Lauren Woodland, a.k.a Brittany on the Young and the Restless.)

    ….And it all comes back around to soaps.

  51. victoria
    0

    Oh, for once, who cares about the fashion? No disrepect, but J.Hud is ALL KINDS OF AWESOME and looks gorgeous and I love her in everything except the purple leather.

    Also, mad props to my girl Posh, whose book “That Extra Half Inch” taught us all (long before her current fashion line was launched) that she can help women with ordinary bodies and budgets shop and dress their best.

  52. victoria
    0

    Oh, for once, who cares about the fashion? No disrepect, but J.Hud is ALL KINDS OF AWESOME and looks gorgeous and I love her in everything except the purple leather.

    Also, mad props to my girl Posh, whose book “That Extra Half Inch” taught us all (long before her current fashion line was launched) that she can help women with ordinary bodies and budgets shop and dress their best.

  53. Alisa
    0

    I honestly had to do a triple take when I saw Jennifer in a Beckham dress. I didn’t realize Posh knew there were sizes that existed beyond a double negative zero.

    I wasted a good 15 minutes imagining the conversation Posh would have had when she was told Jennifer was going to wear on of her creations.

    Although, Posh has been photographed on more than one occasion lately wearing flats, so maybe she’s expanding her horizons?

  54. Hope
    0

    thanks solely to American Idol, I now love Victoria Beckham, so while it’s not my favorite dress here I give her and J.Hud props for designing for curvy ladies. The purple leather should be made into purses, it is a great accessory shade.

  55. Lilli
    0

    Whaaaaaaaaaat! I totally thought she was Brandy when I glanced at that purple dress picture too quickly days ago

  56. Lilli
    0

    I have this weird thing where I can basically never remember that people wear HAIR PIECES. I mean, I can recognize extensions when they’re bleached and on Christina Aguilera, but other than that, it’s always pretty much over my forgetful head. The bad thing is that I think all these celebrities have a shitload of amazing long curly hair, and if hairdressers are always telling me how thick my hair is then why don’t I look like Miley Cyrus did the other night?? The good part is that now I know J Hud doesn’t reallllly have bangs like that.

  57. Iris
    0

    Holy gosh I’m SO RELIEVED to see that leather rides up on other people, too! I have exactly the same problem with my tight leather skirt and dress, and I thought it was, like, some deep personal SPIRITUAL failure on my part! But it’s not! Thank goodness.
    I agree that Jennifer should have gone (gleamy) bare-legged with the Beckham dress, but she may have some kind of imaginary beef with her knees like everyone over a size 2 seems to have, and the tights add a kind of “sexy marching band cadette” feel to the whole thing.

  58. Anonymous
    0

    I wish she’d worn the leather dress in black. It’s a nice cut, and the seaming is figure flattering.

  59. Delta Sierra
    0

    Many many years ago, before the earth had cooled, (1972) a friend of mine had a coat in the exact same shade of purple leather as this horrible dress. Even then, it was all kinds of oh-honey-no.

  60. Suzy
    0

    If you are going to go Beckham, you have to go full force. You have to have the black tights. You have to have the bang piece. That’s just how it goes.

    Personally, I like it, but I like the purple performance dress better. Magpie issues, yes, I have them too.

  61. camille
    0

    Jesus she’s so pretty. It’s a shame that 3 out of 4 of those dresses are mistakes of various calibers (the non-mistake is the sparkly performance dress).

    And I had a mental image that by “sample-sized” (re: Posh), that was not referring to her dress size being the size of fashion samples, but that she is wee, like free samples – you know, teriyaki chicken on a toothpick at the food court.

  62. billiijiin
    0

    I don’t mind any of the dresses except the first one. It looks like she has a mini-me version of the skirt flap across her face. Like when you go to Target and see the mini display tents that would look really cute for a cat or small dog.
    The rest of the dresses are fine. I love her body and think she did well finding form-fitted dresses that hug her curves without giving too much skin (or skin texture).

  63. karinova
    0

    I’m feeling really confused? Like, conceptually, I hate everything about the Beckham number– the apron, the smooshed boobs, TIGHTNESS– and yet…? Yeah, no, I think it’s the shoes. The effect they’re having on her everything is SO AWESOME. I yearn for those shoes. I like the tights with them, too.

    Let’s not talk about dress #2.
    Dress #3 is just one big *shrug,* which is weird, because that color is fabulous.

    I don’t hate the purple leather. Not into the sad little sleeve poufs, and there’s maybe something a little awkward about the length, but I like the overall shape. Plus– and this is a big deal– it fits!

  64. Anonymous
    0

    1)YES
    2)Maybe if it fitted better
    3)YES
    4) When I saw that picture I totally thought “I wonder if they make purple M&M’s” (before I read the accompanying piece naturally)

    Because of point four I’m totally a shoo-in to be the new intern. All I need now is a dashing personality and a Oscar nod. See you at the christmas party!

  65. lucy
    0

    blake lively wore this dress also this week without the tights, and looked fabulous!

  66. MomOfOneOfThem
    0

    She looks like a maid in the first one. A maid wearing Minnie Mouse shoes.

  67. MomOfOneOfThem
    0

    French maid in a porn video. Wearing Minnie Mouse shoes. With fat legs.

  68. Hannah
    0

    I think the true lesson here is never, NEVER wear something previously rocked by Blake Lively. It can only bring you pain.

  69. Misc.
    0

    The purple leather might have been totally amazing and apt for the MJ tribute, no?
    And rock out lady with all those curves; flaunt it if you got it

  70. Misc.
    0

    The purple leather might have been totally amazing and apt for the MJ tribute, no?
    And rock out lady with all those curves; flaunt it if you got it

  71. Miss_Miffy
    0

    You guys have purple M&Ms at Easter???

  72. Maryscott O'Connor
    0

    Good lord, woman — too freakin’ tight, all the way around.

    But I voted with the majority: Beckham was best, purple was worst.

    But that blue sequiny thing was a VERY close second for worst.

    Who is dressing Jennifer Hudson? I think she is dressing herself, and I think that should change.

  73. justice
    0

    well i cant belive some one would take the time an write all this bs thats what i take it as a lot of bs anywho dang whats the prob her name is jennifer hudson she is her own person she has her own state of mine people dress to the way they fell ive been told that the way u dress tell alot about a person an wat that sayn that she is a tight sexy diva okay now look at everyday man okay he can go out an wear some skinny legg jeans that he has to walk funny bc his pack hurts how come yall dont say anything about that it it bc of the time an style but yall rather pick on people who has made sum wit there life cum on now you should give her a rest an stop thinking bout you self i mean its hard as it is not begin able to sit in a food place with sum one always askn fa her sig an if time she goes out some one has to take a pic what im tryn to say is she put up with a lot of shit now why make her have to take up wit ur shiit this women cant never do any tthing bc every little thing she do she has haters well jenny shake those haters off my mother always told me u will always have haters it never fells i guess just back off

  74. veekee
    0

    they all look terrible. She needs a dresser.

  75. susan
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    I Got all of my Black opaque Tights ..60/70/80/90/120 denier..[yes i had loads of em] and burned them slowly one by one ..was fun watching them burn while tied to the washing line..hated them .

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