Grammy Pre-Party Fug Carpet: Kim Kardashian, With Bonus Britney


Memo to Kim Kardashian:

SIT DOWN. Take a vacation. Don’t tell anyone where you’re going, don’t take any pictures, don’t tweet, and don’t rush back into dating Reggie Bush — a.k.a. the athlete it feels like you have been trying to replace, including with your ill-fated wedding — because you REALLY REALLY REALLY NEED TO STOP FOR A WHILE. Be single. Read a couple books on the beach. Wear sweatpants. Spend a week without makeup. Do something resembling anything that isn’t this.

Even Britney is like, “Y’ALL.  I CAN’T LOOK AWAY FROM THEM. GET AWAY FROM ME WITH ALL YOUR BOOBS BEFORE I GET HYPMOTIZED INTO ACCIDENTALLY MARRYING YOU FOR A COUPLE OF MONTHS.”

(Don’t worry, purists, I totally asked Jessica to step in and write that part. I could never commune with the Spears psyche as she does.)

[Photos: Getty]

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Comments (63):

  1. Edith
    0

    I am in love with the Britney “quote.” Thank you, today really needed that.

    Also, SIT DOWN, KIM KARDASIAN. This is the very definition of “trying too hard.” It makes me tired, just looking at these pictures. She has all of the money, and all of the fame. Why can’t she stop?

  2. roser
    0

    And why was Kim Kardashian at the Grammys, exactly?

  3. Mike Morales
    0

    The picture of her alone looks like it could have been taken at the AVN awards in Vegas. God, she’s just trash. And that foundation garment (and on HER that’s what it is) must be made of bridge cable.

  4. Leens
    0

    Hmmmmmm where have I seen that before … oh yes! http://gofugyourself.com/sag-awards-heh-carpet-tina-fey-and-jane-krakowski-01-2012

    … and Jenna totally wore it better.

    • AK
      0

      Wow, thanks for the link of Jane Krakowski wearing it. I still don’t particularly like it on her, but it’s not an affront to my eyes like it is on Kim.

      Kim, at this point, wouldn’t it just be easier to wear a sweatsuit with “PAY ATTENTION TO ME” written on it? They’re basically the same outfit, but in my version, you don’t need to wear full body spanx.

    • Stephanie
      0

      I knew that dress looked familiar! I also agree that she wore it better.

      Kim’s dress is so tight that you can see her veins. Ew.

      • Allie
        0

        Are those veins? I thought those might be faded stretch marks. Made me feel better about mine until you suggested veins… hmm.
        KK, we should not be having this discussion about you. Size it UP, girl!

    • Alexandra Eva Margaretha Nilsson
      0

      Thank you. I knew I’d seen it here on someone else, but I couldn’t think of who. And, Team Jenna here as well. :)

  5. Lina
    0

    *dies and is dead* OMG that was awesome. <3

  6. Bookworm
    0
  7. Molly
    0

    That is a LOT of boob.

  8. Stefanie
    +1

    Oh god, the Britney quote. This is why I love you girls.

  9. Laura
    0

    How does KK always manage to look like the Madame Tussaud’s version of herself?

  10. Francesca
    0

    She actually looked in a full length mirror and approved herself?! Man, do I love it when she wears things like this – snarking ona Kardashian is just way too much fun.

  11. Maria
    0

    Even viewing this on the tiny screen of my iPad, I can see the blood vessels in her boobs. Free KKs boobs.

    • deee
      0

      I’m surprised she didn’t put 10 lbs of concealer and makeup on them so we couldn’t see the veins.

  12. Laucie
    0

    Next stop — Little Kim (the rapper)’s exposed boob with floral pasty ensemble.

  13. granny
    0
  14. Miss Scruffy
    0

    This photo reminds me of the infamous Jayne Mansfield/ Sophia Loren battle of the b**bs shot. When compared to them, these two are small beer.

    • Grace Pheiffer
      0

      I am SO glad someone else caught this! That was the first thing to pop into my mind.

  15. neiges
    0

    Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy. There are no words, really.

  16. Art Eclectic
    0

    Is there a pool going anywhere for the date on which Kimmie realizes that everyone is bored with her and she stages a “wardrobe malfunction” to get the sweet, sweet attention back?

  17. Rebecca Bryan
    0

    Did you guys forget she wrote that awesome song? Maybe she was nominated? Hehehe

    • Sky
      0

      OMG! I totally forgot about her awesome song and even awesomer video. Girlfriend is a ROCK STAR!

  18. FashonFopah
    0

    She looks so desperate for attention. Not SEXY– DESPERATE! You’d think she might have considered rehabbing her reputation by toning things down a bit. She could even have attempted a Paris Hilton disappearing act? But this? Redonkulous! She deserves all of the bad press!

  19. rudy
    0

    Not a fan, but i think she looks amazing.

  20. guerra
    0

    yeah I have to agree. And I like watching keeping up. I think not living in america I’m a little less saturated by them but I find the shows amusing in a trashy way.

    Though now I’m even thinking – just put it away for a while.

  21. Girlin
    0

    For the love of GAWD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! What is the story with the boob squeeze? KK is at it at the Grammy’s (ewwwww veiny) and Christina Kendrick’s at it at the BAFTA’s? Too many mammaries! Any chance of a full shot of Britney? She’s sort of understated looking in black – would like to see the full ensemble! PS Love the Britney quote!

  22. amys
    0

    She looks indecent. Large breasts, yes, we know you have them. Now put them up and away and get off my internets. She is clueless in the sex appeal department. A little mystery is nice every now and then. And my thanks go out to Rebecca–I blissfully forgot about KK’s “song.”

  23. Sajorina
    0

    Tacky… If Jane Krakowski did it before and did it better, you should’ve just staded home for a change!

  24. Cat
    0

    I am honestly surprised that Kim K’s breasts haven’t grown mouths and started screaming to be free– I mean, she’s literally torturing them. This dress is desperate and so is she– I honestly hope she disappears to some lonely island and gives us room to breathe as well. Yikes. Reel it in, girl.

  25. Lillibet
    0

    Just plain ugly. Really.

  26. Deborah
    0

    You had me at Sit Down….but the Britney quote was icing.

  27. Jean
    0

    Actually I think if the dress didn’t show that much cleavage and if it was just half a size bigger, it would be pretty great. The colour really suits her.

  28. joe
    0

    Fellows, listen up! Looking for a mature partner to pamper and take care of you, perhaps financially? Try βillǐonāireƒrienďs–čˇō/Μit’s what you want!! You attractive and young people, beautiful, intelligent and classy college students, aspiring actresses or models who struggling in the early part of your career!!!

  29. Sketchy
    0

    Wow, that’s just awful. It’s like watching Paris Hilton Redeaux. Honey, desperation never looks good on anyone.

    Thank you for the Brittney!

  30. callid
    0

    It reminds of back to the future 2 when Marty’s mum has had the bad boob job and has to wear revealing clothes for Biff. Not a good look!

    • Aphy
      0

      Her breasts/chest look like those fake boobs you can get at the halloween store. Just a bit too much like two squished balls barely contained by fabric.

  31. DressedWell
    0

    We thought it was the dress that we hated. But it looks ten times better on Jenna.

  32. Squirrel!
    0

    As soon as I saw this picture, I thought, “It’s Jane Krakowski’s skeleton-face dress, in blue.” Didn’t like it on Jane; don’t like it on Kim.

  33. theotherjennifer
    0

    however – imagine how great Christina would look in this color – and that cut of dress – properly fitted? with covered boobage, of course.

  34. Daryl
    0

    Got Milk? Seriously, she looks like a cow

  35. Vodka Gimlet
    0

    Just go away.

  36. Lily1214
    0

    Not her again!

  37. Lily1214
    0

    They look like they’re trying to escape, don’t they?

  38. Hambone
    0

    Why does it look like Britney has one massive boob? and I think makeup is like oxygen for Kim K – she needs it to stay alive…

  39. gryt
    0

    She looks like a brothel madam from the Wild West.

  40. vandalfan
    0

    She’s either standing right behind two short bald me, or she’s getting ready to explode.

  41. Kate
    0

    I’m going to be unpopular and say I think Kim’s dress looks great on her figure. I wish the bodice covered her up more, of course, but aside from the excessive boobage, I’d kill to look that good.

  42. KK
    +1

    I would give my left pinky to know what Kim just said to Brit Brit

  43. mrbruno
    0

    Would someone please…”get the hook!!!” Or should that be..”.get the hooker???”

  44. Eve
    0

    Sigh. Getting peed on in a sex tape is not a talent. Please don’t feed the vapid, self-obsessed narcissists. There are far more interesting people to pay attention to.

  45. celia
    0

    SCARY BOOBS. When you cleavage could be confused with someone’s butt, it is time for MORE COVERAGE. I had a boss like that and I always felt like her boobs were coming to get me. All I would think is DON’T LOOK! WHERE ELSE IS THERE TO LOOK? Ugh.

  46. Haft
    0

    this is EXACTLY what jane krakowski wore to the SAG awards. AS IN SAME DRESS DIFFERENT COLOR.

  47. Bambi Anne Dear
    0

    Britney’s hair! Britney’s hair!