CEE-LO: Yes, Gwyneth?
GOOP: Can we talk?
GOOP: I’m afraid people are going to… you know…
CEE-LO: Forget you?
CEE-LO: That seems unlikely.
GOOP: Why, Cee-Lo?
CEE-LO: Because you are an Oscar-winner, a multiple Vogue cover girl, the wife of the Coldplay dude, the ex of Brad Pitt AND Ben Affleck, an Internet lifestyle impresario, an advocate of flavored Himalayan salts, a macrobiotic something-something, the love interest in the Iron Man movies, and a mother.
GOOP: Blah. It’s just all so boring. I want to be known for something bigger, Cee-Lo. I want to be known as The Girl Who Went On Glee And Sang That Cee-Lo Green Song.
CEE-LO: I can help you with that. Now you’ll be The Girl Who Went On Glee And Sang That Cee-Lo Green Song And Then Sang it With Him On The Grammys While He Was Dressed As A Cross Between Elton John, A College Football Mascot, and The Mardi Gras Parade.
GOOP: Wait. I can do better than that.
CEE-LO: Well, yeah, but…
GOOP: I CAN DO IT ALL IN THIS:
CEE-LO: It’s… a… catsuit… thing?
GOOP: WITH FEATHER EARRINGS!
GOOP: MY LEGACY IS ASSURED! AT LONG LAST!
CEE-LO: Congratulations. It’s been a long five minutes that you’ve waited for this moment.
GOOP: I’m just glad that I could share it with you, and with some really breathable cotton spandex. You know, I should do a whole newsletter on how to wear these without the damaging psychic pain of camel toe.
CEE-LO: Now THAT will ensure your legacy.