JENNIFER: Psst. Lovers. Watch my eyes. I will blink you a message. And if you can’t understand it, it will say, “I AM TRAPPED.”
MARC: Oh, Jenny. So funny. And wasn’t our presenting bit hilarious? Where I sang and you pretended not to like it?
JENNIFER: PRETENDED HAHAHAHHAHHA.
MARC: We are like Sonny and Cher.
JENNIFER: More like Bony and GLARE. HAHAHHAAAAAA.
MARC: I feel so much love. I am bursting with it.
JENNIFER: You are bursting with embalming fluid. Ay, lovers, why don’t they let me write the copy at the Grammys? It would be such glory, amigos! Instead I am stuck here with a pickled dead man half my width.
MARC: Show them your dress, flesh pet.
JENNIFER: Shuttttup, Marc, you know I do not want my lovers to hear about your nicknames for me.
MARC: You need to let them see the legs you sold to Gillette.
JENNIFER: Ay, lovers, that’s right, have you seen my latest sure-to-be-award-winning venture? My Venus razor ad? Can you win Oscars for that? I should win an Oscar just for having these:
JENNIFER: Lookit! They are perfection! Also, if you pose with your mouth hanging open, it gives you cheekbones! Learn from me, lovers. I am the best teacher you will ever have.
MARC: I’d do your homework.
JENNIFER: Ew. Ay, lovers, though, here is a tip: When you are wearing a blouse as a dress, always carry a purse! You can use it as a crotch blocker!
MARC: You are so sexy, love, I cannot stand it.
JENNIFER: DO YOU HEAR WHAT I SAID, LOVERS? A CROTCH BLOCKER. IT IS IMPORTANT.
MARC: Should we kiss?
JENNIFER: LOVERS. GET ME OUT OF HERE.