We’re getting to the point in our coverage where I see a picture of someone and go, “Oh, RIGHT, they were there TOO. WE ARE NEVER GOING TO FINISH.”

The good news is, Heather Morris looks fantastic, so we don’t need to sit through a diatribe about ice-skating or fake soap opera plots or movie titles I made up or various imaginary restaurants where she might be the hostess. All there is to do is slide into a shame spiral, because clearly I’ve wasted my life in not using it to become a world-class dancer, so that I would have a bod like hers. Great. So now, not only are we not going to finish Globes coverage until the end of time itself, but now I need to find a way to eat my feelings in carrot sticks. At least I can use them to spell D’OH.

Brittany’s partner in crime Santana also showed up to the Globes.

Of course, I kept thinking she was Kim Kardashian, and that is how SHE fell through the cracks — I kept seeing this picture and thinking, “Ugh, I do not think I have any more words about Kim Kardashian.” I am not sure I have many more words now that I know it’s Naya Rivera, except that I had no idea her chest was that big, which has nothing to do with anything. She looks pretty, but she also looks kind of like she’s the maid of honor at a wedding, who stapled the bouquet to her chest so that she’d have her hands free to keep her dress aloft, fluff the bride’s train, and make suggestive gestures at Groomsman #2.

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