Golden Globes Fugs and Fabs: Keyholes

It just occurred to me that “keyholes” is totally the name of a filthy dance song that nobody has written yet. Please God don’t let it be Justin Bieber.

[Photos: Getty]

Leave a reply

Comments (27):

  1. Leah

    I thought Jenna Malone was Joan Cusak there for a second. Kristen: No, Giada: Yes.

  2. Esme

    Wiig needs to wear a dress that she can fit a bra under–hate the droopiness.

  3. Mouse

    Lainey from laineygossip referred to Kristen Wiig as the Third Olsen Twin. I have to agree.

    I don’t know that I understand the keyhole. It’s like, I want to wear a full dress so I don’t look trashy but…I still want to show my boobs off? Or do they think the sexy boob window against the more staid dress is a unique/mysterious juxtaposition? ‘Cause it’s not.

  4. Rayna

    Team Pearl Clutchers.

    I have nothing against keyholes per se, but these, no.

    I think Mouse summed it up pretty much.

  5. Memo

    AGH! As Esme said, she NEEDS a dress that she can fit a bra under! So unflattering!

  6. Nickydooley

    Kristen’s boobs look sad. Those poor girls are begging for some guidance and discipline (they say they don’t want it, but deep down, they do!). But I’m so happy she’s a redhead again (and not wearing a dishwater dress) that this is a win for me. Hated the dark brown hair on her.

  7. Nickydooley

    Oh, and keyholes? Need to DIE. A slow and miserable death. All of them. Side cutouts too. (I’m looking at YOU, Emily Blunt!)

  8. BigTex

    We’re feeling sorry for Fred Armisen? Didn’t he drop Elizabeth Moss like a hot potato when something taller and blonder came along? Or do I have the wrong guy?

    Anyway, I don’t think people hate him. Well, I kind of hate him, but not his work. I liked the unprepared singers too, and I love another Weekend Update bit he does, where he’s supposed to be an observational humorist but he never actually completes a sentence.

    • Emma

      I think they broke up because she was a Scientologist. I find Fred Armisen hilarious, and I always loved those weird improvised songs he did with Kristen Wiig.

    • Jules

      No, you have the right guy. He’s not very nice.

      • Heather

        I am not referencing his personal life — just saying that every SNL message board thread I’ve ever been on pretty much hates every sketch he does, so I feel sort of bad for him that this was a more widely loved version of something Wiig started with him.

        • mepe

          I think Fred is doing okay. He has this other project called Portlandia that seems to be pretty popular these days.

  9. Sajorina

    Jenna & Giada look fine and very pretty! Kristen is still on the Boring Tamale Train! Zzzzzzzzzz……………. MEH! Oh, but her bit with Will Ferrel was hilarious!

  10. Cassy

    You know, actually, we missed all the red carpet stuff but when we saw Kristen Wiig come out and do her bit with Will Ferrell, we were both commenting on how surprisingly GOOD she looked. Maybe it was the onstage effect. Agreed that it looks awful with a coat.

  11. Mir

    There actually is a filthy dance song called Wrong Keyhole–though it’s from the ’30s (there was a whole dirty song genre then; it’s all pretty awesome). Here’s one version, from the Angel Heart soundtrack.

  12. Scully

    Honestly, when I first caught a glimpse of Kristen Wiig out of the corner of my eye during the show, my brain labeled her “Jennifer Aniston” until it realized that she wasn’t dwarfed by Will Ferrell. That dress feels like a discarded piece of Aniston’s Black Period.

  13. Danielle

    Just want to say that not only did I NEVER fast-forward through a Garth & Kat SNL bit, my friend and I went as them for Halloween and made up songs all night and it was awesome.

  14. April

    I seriously thought that Jena Malone was Alicia Silverstone.

  15. Vandalfan

    Fugs and Fabs- I see the fugs, but where are fabs?

  16. Sara Raju

    I would’ve been all for Jena’s outfit(ESPECIALLY THOSE SHOES-whut!) but her makeup was not great, and her hair looked like it was just in some greasy ponytail. But I still loved her in Life as a House!

  17. BooRad859

    Am I the only one who cannot STAND Will Ferrell?

  18. madison16

    I feel so less crazy after reading the comments. I read Jenna Malone three times waiting for it to be changed to Joan Cusak. Sanity saved, thank you bloggers.

  19. Southworth

    I bought this breadmaker these in my guy since i have squashed his duplicate Oakleys. These are fine quality, so if feels like I can’t be breaking these really easy! He adores them, many of them accommodate appropriately!