Golden Globes Fug Carpet: The Black Lace Brigade

This is actually not just lace, but also transparencies; sadly that wasn’t as kicky-sounding. Also: The Widow Longoria is BACK. And she’s PROWLING.

[Photos: Getty]


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Comments (72):

  1. stacie

    When Mrs James Bond came on the screen they slowly panned down… At first I thought…okay, and then holy lord the bottom showed up. Behind me I hear my 8 year old son say “Ugh. Mom that is ugly.” If he knows, what doesn’t she?????

    • Kat

      That was me too. I was like, oooh, polka dots! Love those! Then I was like, aww cute waist bow! Then I was like, noooooo!!! Ruined. Just, ruined.

  2. vodka gimelet

    I love lace and I love black, but this is a bunch of fugged up madness. I do like Nicole Kidman’s dress, I think it suits her, and the beading is beautiful. Can we please do away with the half dresses with long sheer skirts? And the visible granny panty??

  3. Olga

    Rachel’s dress is the ultimate scrolldown fug.

  4. Stefanie


    I havent even opened the slideshow yet and I hate them. Especially Eva’s and Guillian’s. HATE.

  5. Sandra

    Holy jeebus! Even Mark Sanchez didn’t deserve to have that happen to him. Why does everyone Kardashicize their looks these days?

  6. lilywise

    I liked Nicole’s dress a lot.
    The others were just horrible. Holy High Hair, Eva! That is not the way to make yourself look taller. Nor is showing your entire femur to the world. Emma Roberts and Giuliana looked silly. Shenae Grimes (? I’ve forgotten already who it was) looked like a version of Demi Moore’s formal bike shorts, just with the skirt over to the side.

  7. Rose

    Well, at least HBC is consistent. Same sort of thing she always wears, but she pulls it off.

    • Katharine

      Yes. You know you’re doing poorly, other ladies in black, when HBC looking like herself with her hair teased especially wildly is a walking well-dressed award by comparison.

    • Holly Hamilton

      I appreciate that she has at least chosen a style and doesn’t care what anyone else thinks of it. But she is so beautiful and could be gorgeous. Sigh.

  8. Kristy

    You made a Henry the 8th reference. Bless you!

  9. googler

    What a catastrophic explosion of fug. Blech.

    Eva, Halle, and La Lopez all need the same intervention friend. Such beautiful women that don’t do themselves justice by desperately clinging to their youth. Your faces put the youngins to shame, get it together, ladies!

  10. Callie

    From the waist up though Rachel Weisz looks absolutely amazing.

  11. Pazzy

    Anyone else think La Rancic’s dress is reminiscent of the really awful dress Molly Ringwald wears to prom in Pretty in Pink?

  12. Helen

    Loved Kidman’s dress!

    The rest are just so terribly terribly in need of a Sassy Gay Friend.

    • Ellyn

      Nicole’s dress felt like an “almost, but it would be better if…” A solid black waist, while boring, would have been an improvement. Something like a belt (see Kate Hudson) that echoed the star appliques would have been an interesting touch. Almost anything other than a sheer inset that looked like it was exposing the corset underpinnings of the dress would have been so much better!

  13. Chasmosaur

    I would like to note that while I think Emma Roberts’ dress does, indeed, look like the support garment and crinoline that goes under a better dress, at least it fits correctly. I am not getting all stabby and wondering how women who get to wear this type of couture don’t have a grasp of how these clothes should fit them.

  14. LG

    Weisz’s dress would have been gorgeous if she’d just cut the bottom sheer panels off. Longoria was apparently channeling Morticia Addams but only if Morticia Addams was a porn star. I couldn’t care less about the rest, but since we’re talking about them, can we please mention that Rancic should NEVER wear her hair like that? Not only does she look like the haughty schoolmarm from a super low-budget steampunk western, but with her MASSIVE forehead, that hairstyle makes her look like a dolphin wearing a wig. And while we’re at it, why is NO ONE MENTIONING THAT NICOLE KIDMAN’S FACE IS STARTING TO RESEMBLE THE JOKER???? (Please sweetie, no more nips or tucks, you were so beautiful and now you are so odd looking.)

    • BrownEyedBetty

      LOL !

    • Janice

      Me! That’s why I came here.

      I thought Nicole was supposed to have stopped doing Botox. And now it’s back, with a vengeance. She’s going to give Mary Tyler Moore a run for her money.

      • Nickydooley

        Yes. Her face looks ridiculous (STOP THE INSANITY NICOLE!) and her hair looks like a wig. Gross. And such a shame.

        • Carolyn

          I think it might be a wig. I think her real hair is giving her a lot of trouble these days.

  15. Ladyblahblah

    Most of these resemble my wardrobe from 1985-1988 when I was going through my slutty-groupie-attending-a-funeral period.

  16. Aphy

    Is that the visible outline of Emma Roberts’ panties????? Yikes.

    • Caitlin

      Yes, I am appalled that her father and aunt let her out of the house like that.

  17. Sylvia

    My world made sense until this post.

    I don’t hate Nicole’s dress and HBC will always dress like HBC. The rest of these dresses are forcing me to take a nap. What IS that thing on Enma Roberts? And why does Rachel Weisz keep doing this to herself/? She’s already got an Oscar, she’s gorgeous and she goes to bed with Daniel Craig every night. Dress like you love your life because I certainly love your life,.

    To paraphrase Dennis Green, “Giuliana is who I thought she was.” I don’t expect much.

  18. Cat

    I must be touched in the head, because the more I look at Rachel Weisz’s dress, the more I keep trying to justify it. Gah, she was so close! I love the polka dots on the top, but the sheer?! No no no. Made if the sheer polka dots had been overlayed on a dark grey or she cut off the sheer panels and the black sheath went to the floor. I want to love this sooooo much, but I can’t quite do it.

    I love Nicole Kidman’s dress full stop– even with the rib cage. Guilana’s dress, on the other hand– awful. Even though Eva’s dress reeks of desperation, I still kind of love it.

  19. Court

    If loving Rachel Weisz’s dress is wrong, I don’t want to be right.

  20. Sajorina

    Eva almost made me spit my Mojito last night! I said ALMOST! She’s just RIDICULOUS! And, since when is the insufferable Giuliana Rancic a celebrity? She looked soooooo freakin’ BAD!

    I like Rachel Weisz’ dress because I’d love it as a minidress, if it didn’t have the polka dot fabric on the bottom, and I would’ve loved it if it was a long strapless black dress with the polka dot fabric overlay keeping the cute detail on the top and the belt. I wish I could “Unfug It Up”! Plus, her hair and makeup are GORGEOUS! And I love Nicole Kidman’s dress (I love a cute McQueen!) and accessories! Her hair and makeup were nice, but she had the same expression all night… What’s up with the botox? I’ll FAB her!

  21. Esme

    Geez, what an ungodly parade of FUG! Longoria looks at least 50 in that get-up, and if she’d done that leg thing ironically, it would have been funny, but I don’t think she did. Miss Kitty Rancic gets the all-over prize for biggest horror of the night, and Rachel must have lost her mind. WTF?

  22. India

    I wish they’d stop trying to make Emma Roberts happen; she’s never going to happen. Giuliana Rancic looks like a giant insect from outer space. Hate, hate, hate every one of these misbegotten frocks, no exceptions.

  23. R

    I really like Nicole’s dress. I’m so glad she didn’t wear nude, white, pink or any other pastel colours. Love it!

  24. Claire1

    It looks as if you can see Emma Robert’s thong!! I think it’s a play of the light…but OMG…it looks like a waist high thong! Make it go away…. I can’t unsee it now!

    • Mrs. Ditter

      Sorry, Claire, it doesn’t “look as if” you can see Emma Roberts’ thong…you CAN see Emma Roberts’ thong, and it was clearly (HAH!) designed that way intentionally. WTF does not even begin to cover it.

  25. Aria

    Hate all of these but esp Giulliana’s ; I about spit my drink when someone told her how great she looked.

  26. hillary l.

    My mom was shaking her head over HBC, so I sent her the link to the 42-some slide retrospective of HBC’s glory, and she came around to the fact that the black lace thing was downright understated.

    Actually did not hate Emma’s dress, but that might be because it came after Giuliana’s.

  27. Sarah

    Wait, is Eva for real? Is this a joke? Hahaha So blatantly cheesy with the leg pose.

  28. Sarah

    Love me some Guliana but hate that dress. She normally has such good taste!

  29. Art Eclectic

    Are we certain Eva Longoria wasn’t filming a late night infomercial promoting her waxer?

    “Joanne at WaxWorks/Spray Tan Emporium is SO GOOD I can show my panties to the world on the red carpet! Call now and ask about our Tropics Tan Specials! Also, I’m available. As in: REALLY available.”

  30. Liz985

    Blech! to all. Emma Roberts, in particular. Try getting a good acting gig and you won’t have to try so hard. And sad, sad, sad what is happening to Nicole’s face. She and Courtney Cox must have the same….dermatologist. :-(

  31. Tiffany

    I thought Eva looked great.

    Emma Robert’s dress seems so desperate for attention, IMO. She just doesn’t have the body to reveal so much. I find her very, very boring on screen, so that might be affecting my opinion.

    Nicole’s dress is not my favorite, but I do love the cage area in the back. It looks amazing.

  32. Moi

    Emma Roberts always looks just slightly inappropriate to me. Whereas her aunt, if not consistently fashionable, at least comes off as discreet, she just comes off as grubby/slutty.

  33. Ghanimatrix

    Looks like Nicole is back on the Botox…

  34. Jenna

    I actually really like Nicole Kidman’s dress, particularly the midsection. It’s amazing how beautifully it fits her and accentuates her figure.

    I think Emma Roberts didn’t make it on TV because her dress violated the decency requirements. Bleh.

  35. SharonCville

    HBC’s dress was rather ho-hum for her, but the purse made me laugh, so I’ll give her a pass. Nicole’s dress is… something… but she seriously needs to stop messing with her face. And Emma Roberts apparently needs to be told no one needs to see her ALL of her lingerie on the red carpet. Put a dress on over that!

  36. anna s.

    With Helena’s hair and that lips purse, I really REALLY wish she’d have gone the whole nine yards and just worn a Magenta costume from Rocky Horror. I would have respected her so much for that.

  37. witjunkie

    Hey, and thanks to Rachel Weisz for conducting the experiment that demonstrated for all of us that a long sheer skirt does not look any better UNDER a miniskirt than it does over one. Hypothesis confirmed!

  38. Erin

    Nicole and Emma Roberts: *shakes head violently*

    I can’t help but love HBC, though. She’s so wacky and she owns it without fail.

  39. Bella

    Nicole Kidman’s isn’t too bad; she looks good. But the Widow Longoria looks rather silly. And Rachel Weisz? What could she be thinking? Did her hunka-man have nothing to say about that atrocity? Rancic looks deformed. HBC looks like HSC, but I secretly love the purse!!

  40. Jessica

    All I could think of upon seeing Nicole Kidman’s dress was, “Aaaah! I’m covered in bees!”

  41. Rosemary

    Hey Nicole, the seams in your human costume are showing.

  42. Bambi Anne Dear

    The best thing about this post is that I now know that there’s a season 2 of Fashion Star. But who is Louise Roe? Why no Elle? Must google…..

    Oh, and HBC looks positively subdued. I saw another slide show from some mag and she was among the best dressed there IMO. That’s out of 58 pics!! Do I detect a less than vintage best-dressed GGs?

  43. Laura

    When I saw Les Mis (loved it) and Helena Bonham Carter came onscreen, my first thought was “Oh, well, I guess they saved some money on costuming her, because this looks like it all came out of her awards-show closet”.

  44. Heather feather

    Why oh why does Nicole keep going back to that awful washed out blonde hair color?! I was so excited when she went back to red and now here’s the damn blonde again! If I had red hair there’s no way in hell I would lighten it to blonde. It also distracts a little from her face when she returns to red. A little.

    • Liz985

      Re: Nicole’s hair – Unfortunately, Time waits for no man. It could be that the “silvers” are coming in too quickly to keep up with them. Lighter blonde is easier to blend and get a bit more time between salon visits. Of course, she could probably afford to be in the stylist’s chair every week – she may just not want to be. Speaking from experience (sigh).

      • Sajorina

        She’s playing “Grace Kelly” at the moment, so her hair has to be short & blonde for now!

  45. Janice

    Oh my God, that god awful droopy black. Not as much as there used to be, but it keeps hanging around like a bad smell.

    Of all these ladies, only Rachel looks really good in black (HBC is a special case), an even she manages to screw it up.

  46. Anna

    I think Kidman’s dress was one of the best. Her face and hair however… How is she playing the marvelous Grace Kelly with that face full of botox?

  47. Vandalfan

    “Black lace? Oh goody! I’m gonna hate each and every one of these!” I said to myself, and I was right.