A commenter on our live blog correctly pointed out that this is the kind of dress nobody would even pretend to take seriously on anyone OTHER than Halle Berry.
This sucker is like a cross between Project Runway and the Da Vinci Code, where designers are asked to take coded fabric and drape it in such a way as to reveal a meaningful hieroglyph about the time Tom Hanks had sex-predator hair. It’s horrible. That seam up her groin is like fashion Frankenstein. If Kim Kardashian wore this, we’d be like, “She puts the wrong in sarong.” But because it’s Halle Berry people are more apt to say, “Well, she DOES have nice hips, AND THAT FACE.” I am resisting that temptation. The bodice makes it look like the ENTIRE volume of her left breast has been squeezed up and out and over into her right one. If you have that body, and you do this to it, you should be arrested for disturbing the peace.