Golden Globes Fug Carpet: Halle Berry


A commenter on our live blog correctly pointed out that this is the kind of dress nobody would even pretend to take seriously on anyone OTHER than Halle Berry.

This sucker is like a cross between Project Runway and the Da Vinci Code, where designers are asked to take coded fabric and drape it in such a way as to reveal a meaningful hieroglyph about the time Tom Hanks had sex-predator hair. It’s horrible. That seam up her groin is like fashion Frankenstein. If Kim Kardashian wore this, we’d be like, “She puts the wrong in sarong.” But because it’s Halle Berry people are more apt to say, “Well, she DOES have nice hips, AND THAT FACE.” I am resisting that temptation. The bodice makes it look like the ENTIRE volume of her left breast has been squeezed up and out and over into her right one. If you have that body, and you do this to it, you should be arrested for disturbing the peace.

[Photo: Getty]

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Comments (63):

  1. Miranda
    0

    This is further proof Donatella needs to step away from designing Versace. Terrible. Halle’s face isn’t redeeming enough for this mess.

    • Leti
      0

      I have to respectfully disagree, if only because of how amazing Claire Danes looked. I think this dress reflects Haile’s poor taste more than Donatella’s poor design skills. Bottom line, this dress is over the top and try hard. If nothing else, it should be a crime to wear anything so disfiguring to one’s bustline!

  2. Stefanie
    0

    This is ridiculous. Her “face” is running out of steam with me.

  3. Trace
    0

    I don’t know, I think Halle is someone who can pretty much be given a free pass to wear just about anything as her face is just so goddamn gorgeous.

  4. Bella
    0

    What can I say? I may be the only one, but I love this fabric. Now if it was only constructed to fit properly. It looks like it started with an interesting idea and the designer either ran out of time or got bored and shoved her out the door as is.

    • Art Eclectic
      0

      You aren’t the only one. The first picture I saw of it I was all “ooooooohhhhh.” But some of the construction leaves me cold. I don’t like the waist treatment and I don’t like it half hanging off her hip. Nor do I like the slit. So, close, though. I get where this was going, I just think it stopped for too many cocktails at a singles bar on the way there.

    • Deborah
      0

      Or if it was constructed at all instead of pulled, floofed, pinched, cinched and tacked.

  5. McLisa
    0

    What is happening to her boob(s)?

  6. maryse
    0

    she was on my worst dressed list. she has no excuse.

  7. hollabc0
    0

    She’s so pretty, why must she do this to herself? She has not aged at all.

  8. Gine
    0

    Awful. I also feel like she’s worn this exact same dress–or variations on the theme–a hundred times. it’s very MTV Movie Awards Circa 2003.

  9. la di da
    0

    This dress was so bad it was actually being discussed in the comments for someone else, I think J.Lo. Anyway, I will repeat here what I said there. When I first saw her, I actually said out loud ” oh calm down, Halle Berry”. That slit is so desperate and that print is so offensive to my eyeballs. Just yuck.

  10. Minda
    0

    That comment is so dead on. The worst bit is that it is both too much and a total snore at the same time (like, of course she would wear something like this). She is so gorgeous, but she dresses like someone with deep insecurities. It boggles the mind,

  11. Mongerel
    0

    She looks like she’s fresh from electroshock treatments (no wonder the breast tumor is angry) and wearing the hospital curtain to boot.

  12. Ghanimatrix
    0

    I totally disagree. When she walked onstage I thought she looked terrific – feminine and sleek.

    • Michelle
      0

      I agree! I suspect – given how flowy this is – it’s one of those dresses where it looks good in motion, but it once she’s standing still you can see the flaws. Nevertheless, i thought she looked great last night, and I would count myself lucky to look as “bad” as Halle Berry.

  13. Cat
    0

    I think this could work with a few adjustments. First all, get rid of the exposed hip. It looks sloppy and desperate. Secondly, get rid of the weird overlay/train. Or at the very least, have it only on the bottom and closely layered– on the top it definitely makes her boobs look wonky.

    As is, though, it’s terrible. The only thing saving this whole ensemble is how amazing her face looks!

  14. annabelle
    0

    Psssttttt….Halle….you’re crazy is showing.

    • annabelle
      +1

      SONOFABITCH…..”your” crazy is showing. Not you’re.

      I’m snarky, not stupid.

  15. anonymoose
    0

    Heat Miser hair!

    Anyone else see Denzel Washington in her expression?

  16. Sandra
    0

    Aw, be nice you guys. Harem girls just want to go to prom like everybody else.

    • Stefanie
      0

      It’s funny you say this….Im really good friends with the people who own the “fancy dress” shop in town – weddings, bridesmaides and prom – and there is a prom dress there that looks exactly like this. Same cut, colors, very similar pattern, only it doesnt have hip cutout and I think the bust would fit better than this.

  17. Sylvia
    0

    This dress is HORRIBLE. It looks like something made in high school. The skirt looks like a “RAVE” reject of some sort. It looks like it will fall apart at any moment.

    Halle is insane, but good Lord, she still looks like Halle Berry. Her dress should be better than this.

  18. Eliza
    0

    I actually kind of like the color and pattern, but the boobage is horrible!!!

    • Hima
      0

      Exactly how I feel. Pretty fabric, but how can one boob look so crazily different than the other?

  19. Pouncer
    0

    Cutouts, what the hell?

  20. Kit
    0

    This outift confirmed my suspicions (vis a vis her very public craptastic crap between current and ex lovers and child); that Halle Berry has lost her damn mind.

  21. lor
    0

    Why is she ‘trying so hard’ these days? She’s gorgeous. Just keep it simple and it’s a home run! This, however, is a strike.

  22. Angela
    0

    The fact that even Seth McFarlane had a comment about this whole look, doesn’t speak well Ms. Berry at all.
    http://pics.lockerz.com/s/276735845

  23. Sajorina
    0

    I won’t even pretend to take this dress seriously on Halle Berry! It is NOT flattering on her GORGEOUS body, yet she still put it on and thought she was rocking it! Halle, you’re wrong and so is your dress! FUG!

  24. Kim
    0

    Wow. As far as what a dress does to a bustline, that’s the craziest thing I’ve ever seen in my life. Makes no sense at all. Horrible.

    Also, really tired of the super high slits on most of them (eva, heidi, halle, etc.). Jeez. You’re looking desperate.

  25. TaraMisu
    0

    She can do so much better, haven’t we seen this a million times on her, just different colors. Her boobs, OMG her boobs!! Where is the left one???? And the hip cut out, COME ON. She needs a new stylist. Stat.

  26. Pamela
    0

    The dress is hideous and she’s obviously had some work done on her face. She doesn’t look right.

  27. Sarah
    0

    I think the color is beautiful but when a couture gown give you uniboob, its time to rethink your life choices.

  28. TonyG
    0

    I agree with others who commented that the dress is not so bad, but what it does to her boobs is.

  29. Victoria
    0

    Aaaaaah thunderboob!

  30. witjunkie
    0

    The bodice reminds me of one of those koozy balls – when you squeeze it, it bulges out someplace weird, like from the other side of your thumb.

    However, this is the most covered-up she’s been in ages, which with that slit, is saying something.

  31. Debbie Hoad
    0

    Apart from the issue with her mismatched boobs, I have no idea why you hate this dress. It’s creative and beautiful and looks good on her.

  32. anonymoose
    0

    It looks as though her left hip is vomiting.

  33. Gigi
    0

    That rhinestone-embellished surgical scar holding up the groin panel is the worst part of this. Or is it the best for keeping Halle’s berry from full view?

  34. Amberoni13
    0

    The overlay fabric reminds me of either 1) the really fancy colored plastic wrap available around the holidays or 2) the fancy stuff that the little drawstring bags are made out of when I buy stuff from Chinatown or Asia (through eBay). In other words, it looks colorful and festive, but cheap. AND I really want to touch it to see what the actual texture could possibly be, but I’m also afraid that if someone touched it, parts might fall apart or emerge from the torso chrysalis.

  35. Helen
    0

    Just plain ugly. And why a tube top UNDER the boobs?

    Worst of all, despite her considerable natural presence, it’s wearing her.

  36. Katharine
    0

    If she wanted to wear a sari, why didn’t she go and get herself a really nice sari and choli? This is terrible, AND it makes her breast look like a tumour.

  37. Willa W
    0

    OMG someone obviously let her kid/niece/best friend’s evil daughter choose the dress. It looks like the dream come true of a psychotic kindergarden kid in her princesses-in-saris phase.

  38. Verlaine
    0

    While I feel sorry for the lopsided boob, I kind of… love this? It’s just so loud and cheery. Would it be better in the summer, and maybe not at a major awards show? Sure, but there was so much damn brown and beige last year that I was glad to see Berry wearing a pink collage.

  39. Dallas
    0

    Standing still the dress is horrible, way too much going on and although she’s gorgeous is there an age when cut outs and leg slits become inappropriate? BUT when she walked out on stage Halle rocked the sh*t out of that dress and I couldn’t help but like it.

  40. Mel
    0

    For goodness sake, she is an OSCAR WINNING ACTRESS!! Why is she dressing up from Paris Hilton’s closet circa 2005! A reality tv reject or a eurovision contestant would frown upon this! She is so much better than this. This is the kind of dress you see on “classy” girls on the French Riviera in Summer

  41. R
    0

    Desperate and trashy. She needs to sit down and have a heart to heart with Helen Mirren about ageing gracefully.

  42. SerialGoth
    0

    Yes, Halle, we get it. You’re gorgeous, and you’ve got that killer body. The point has been made, so now how about dressing with a little taste?

    • nagrommm
      0

      Agree. Why does she always try SO hard. Everyone agrees you are gorgeous Halle, now dress like a grown up!

  43. Shanti
    0

    This is trying to be a sari, and isn’t quite succeeding. I actually think that with a little work, it could be gorgeous.

    • Kristin
      0

      I’m just going to go ahead and trademark SluttiSari for the knockoffs right now.

  44. ChaChaHeels
    0

    That is the ugliest dress I have ever seen. No one’s face can save it.

  45. Elle
    0

    The only good part of this photo is the guy in the background snapping an an Instagram shot to post to Twitter with a short, pithy message about how even Halle Berry can look awful sometimes.

  46. Vandalfan
    0

    Like Charlie Brown’s tree, it’s not a bad little dress. It just needs some attention in the boobular area, some adjustment of a few of the tiny belts and buckles, and sewing up of the leg slit a few inches.

  47. tigers4us
    0

    It looks like she’s ready to do the dance of the 7 veils. Borderline sleazy and inappropriate for the GGs. Even Heidi Klum didn’t dress as desperately.

  48. Terri Watson
    +1

    The dress looks like impressionist road kill.

  49. Gal
    0

    Why was she there?

  50. Liz
    0

    I don’t understand the Halle Berry love. So she looks young and fit for her age. She still has terrible taste, has had the same boring hairstyle for forever, and seems to be one of those people who only wears clothes to show off all her work at the gym. That combined with her questionable taste in men just makes me think she has some issues.

  51. e
    0

    horrendous monstrosity

  52. Elizabeth Fallon
    0

    OMG, that boob comment is the most hilarious thing, I didn’t notice until you said it.