Fugtle Monsters


It seems Lady Gaga, who considers herself such a pioneer, has decided to come out with her own perfume — thus following in the illustrious footsteps of forebears like Hilary Duff, Avril Lavigne, and Carmen Electra. Supposedly her own blood was used for part of it, she wanted it to smell “slutty,” and the ingredient list is: “tears of belladonna, crushed heart of tiger orchidea with a black veil of incense, pulverized apricot and the combinative essences of saffron and honey drops.” I had read somewhere ELSE, or so I thought, that she wanted it to have a whiff of semen about it. But I can’t find that, so let’s just pretend it never happened.

[Photos: WENN]

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Comments (57):

  1. Mouse
    0

    Gah. She just reeks of “try hard” now. Is that what her perfume smells like too?

  2. Sandra
    0

    Smells like desperation to me.

  3. Jo
    0

    According to a review, the perfumes are disappointingly safe, totally wearable and nice. Nothing outrageous or special about them.

  4. Dani
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    Does her handbag say “Corn?” Do you think it’s actually full of corn?

  5. Kristina
    0

    I assume her appropriation of the burqa is her way of commenting on current events? At least, that would make sense, if that were the case.

    • Miranda
      0

      That burqa stunt is incredibly offensive. When exactly did she wear this? Because if it was after the shit hit the fan with The Innocence of Muslims last week, then it upgrades from just offensive to irresponsible.

  6. Stefanie
    0

    I smelled her perfume. Honestly, it smells just as rank as you would expect it to.

  7. Kristina
    0

    PS: Missy did the black balloon thing 15 years ago. And she did it better.

    • Helen
      0

      Missy Elliott is amazing. That video was one of the best pieces of art I have ever seen in any medium.

  8. Tarryn
    0

    I remember reading somewhere she wanted her perfume to smell like blood and semen… can’t recall the source though. Also she reminds me a bit of Peaches Geldof in the second picture.

    • steph527
      0

      I read that too….also, something about it smelling like a used hooker.

      • Tarryn
        0

        Refinery29 had their editors blind-test it, and one of them said it smelled like babies, which I think is hilarious.

  9. Eliza Bennett
    0

    I just stopped on number 5, smiled and propped my chin on my fist for a moment. I love you, Gaga. Stay just this way.

  10. Lynne
    0

    I have some serious Gaga fatigue right now. I just can’t bring myself to care anymore. Although this was slightly worth it for the Andre Leon Talley joke.

  11. Carolina Girl
    0

    I smelled the perfume in Sephora over the weekend and didn’t like it at all. It’s very reminiscent of “Poison”. Supposedly, the top notes are blood and semen, which isn’t the scent that I want on my skin.

    • Tiffany
      0

      The blood and semen thing was a joke she made before she actually started working on the perfume. The actual thing doesn’t have any blood or semen in it, nor does it try to smell like it. I can see where people would be confused, though.

  12. amys
    0

    Is she dressed as a cockroach in slide one?

  13. A.J.
    0

    I love Gaga, I do, but I love her when she’s not so…Gaga. There’s a level where it’s eccentric, and then there’s a level where it’s trying WAY too hard to be eccentric. Slide 1 and 2 and even 3 is about the limit of Gaga-ness I can take.

  14. Helen
    0

    No, no it does not say “corn.” It says something I am sure I cannot print here, nor do I want to.

    However, it may well be full of the stuff. She certainly is.

    As a singer and musician, I love Gaga – a range like Freddie Mercury’s (the original comparison was apt), beautifully trained, perfect pitch. Gorgeous sound.

    But looking at her just makes me so very tired now. It was fun for a while; it’s time to move on.

  15. LG
    0

    Wow, a Lady Gaga perfuuuuuuuuuajjjjjjxxxxxxxxxxxxxx…

    Sorry, I dozed off there for a second because she is SO MOTHER-EFFING BORING. Wake me up when she does something interesting.

  16. Katie Lynn
    0

    I found where she says the thing about blood and semen (and EEEWWWW) http://www.eonline.com/news/330757/lady-gaga-gets-naked-for-fame-fragrance-ad

    • Helen
      0

      It does not, of course, actually contain those things. That’s an old and out-of-context quote from an interview in which she was speculating about the fragrance before it was ever made.

      Still, I agree, eeeewww.

      Though I rather like the advertisement photo!

  17. MelissaW
    0

    Hey, so she really IS Deadmau5 (looking at the huge ears in pic #3)!

  18. ceecee
    0

    Yawn.

  19. cc
    0

    I feel like the only thing she could do now that would be shocking is if she were to wear normal clothes.

    • glee
      0

      She has several times – and she looks good in them. But does that really equal to a burqa with a ‘cunt’ clutch?

      It’s all about the statement – and I guess not caring whether people like it or not is where art comes in.

  20. ChristieLea
    0

    Somewhere, Deadmau5 is looking a picture #3 and having a hissy fit.

    And Madonna as well…is it just me, or does the makeup in #3 make her look Madonnaesque?

  21. Shiitake
    0

    Has anyone pinpointed a theme in any of this schlock?

  22. Kristen from MA
    0

    Bored now.

  23. Edith
    0

    I kind of love Lady Gaga, and even so, this slideshow just makes me SO TIRED.

  24. Suzanna
    0

    I smelled the perfume too, and I can’t remember how it smells. That’s how average it is. And corn on the purse would have made me think way more profound thoughts.

  25. Kim Douglas
    0

    In the one with the decorative wreath my Nana made in a Michael’s Crafts seminar, I can’t help but wonder: does Gaga ever just get all “pphhpbbt ppphhhhs ppbbhhpbbht dammit I can’t breathe wissh theesh flowersh in mah moussh”?

  26. Anna
    0

    I actually think it smells okay- can’t detect any blood or semen notes- but my husband says it smells like a grandma.

    “And before you ask,” he added, “No, not a sexy grandma. Just straight-up granny.”

  27. Alma
    0

    Flower anus is all I can see in slide 4.

  28. Alma
    0

    Also, what kind of an assh*le still wears real fur these days?? Terrible.

  29. Bambi Anne Dear
    0

    Pic 6 was Gaga opening Phillip Treacy’s show. 4 is her in the audience (I think it’s a Treacy hat) and 3 is a hat that was in the show. There was a smiley hat. Brilliant!

  30. Bottle Ginger
    0

    No other celebrity could carry of that “giant beetle” look nearly as well.

    There, I said something nice.

  31. Mia Weston
    0

    What an idiot, just so predictable.

  32. Mjx
    0

    I can respect her desire to describe herself as ‘slutty’/to have a fragrance that smells personal and slutty, but I’m gagging on ‘tears of belladonna’ and ‘the combinative essences of [bloody well anything]‘.

    Silly singer! Belladonna does not weep. It is poisonous, it cackles evilly. and come on, doesn’t that sound better? ‘Evil cackles of belladonna’. Perfect.
    And ‘combinative’?! Is this supposed to mean the notes combine (in which case, please don’t bother saying so; they’re in a bottle together, we can figure this out ourselves), or ‘combined’ (which conveys actual meaning in this context; why do you want to make people all stabby by using a word that conveys nothing?!).

    I’m displeased with that huge bow, which makes it seem like cheap, showy, ubiquitous holiday gift of the year (the one you get several of when you actually would have preferred something else).

  33. Remi
    0

    I am somewhat reminded of the link in fug and pieces about people desperately trying to be covered during fashionweek.

  34. Zuzzie
    0

    I just laughed for 5 minutes solid at the flower helmet. Then showed hb and we both laughed.
    I do love her.

  35. bonnie
    0

    Hmmm blood and semen with a little top note of ….. ummmm…… desperation ???

  36. JanetP
    0

    I was okay with her meat dress. The tail caftan, on the other hand, horrifies me.

  37. Jenna
    0

    Somewhere, Allison Harvard is saying, “Honey… blood?” and giving Gaga a violent side eye. http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m80n115XUv1ryysfpo1_500.gif

  38. Rebecca
    0

    It must be so EXHAUSTING to be her and have to keep up her annoying, ‘different’, ‘creative’ shtick all the time. I wonder if she ever wants to go to an event in just a cute cocktail dress and regular heels. Or *gasp* jeans and a tshirt or something.

  39. Meredith
    0

    the semen thing is legit. my friend’s mom is fairly high up in the company that designed the scent with her, and was at the initial meeting. i actually got a text that said ‘lady gaga wants her perfume to smell like bodily fluids! my mom has the weirdest job!’

  40. bailey
    0

    Smelled her perfume… I’m fairly certain it’s Welch’s grape juice!