Yay. Welcome back to GFY, Diane. What have you got for us today?

Hmm. Coy. What are you hiding? The dress does HAVE a top, right?

Oh, I see. The top is there. It’s whether it has a BOTTOM that’s in question. That, and why you appear to be wearing a bustier-shaped napkin. Is wearing it on your bodice a newfangled way of tucking it into your collar? Like a really expensive high-fashion lobster bib? Does it detach when the deluge of clarified butter has stopped and all fingers have been appropriately licked, wiped, and freed to live their lives without fear of greaseprints? And why are everyone’s knees so freaking depressed? Is it the anniversary of the death of the man who invented orthopedic surgery? I bet he had a handlebar mustache and wore a monocle and silk vests. It just feels right.

[Photos: Getty]