Fugtie Price


Oh dear.

What’s under the sweater, Katie? Wait, don’t answer that. It’s NEVER going to be a good answer.

… Yes. Because what Katie likes to reveal about herself, she prefers to do IN WORDS.

I think my very favorite part about her releasing her own magazine, though, is the fact that she actually does have something like four autobiographical tomes — so really, what is left to cover about herself, in her own words, that fans do not already know? Does she knit an afghan out of prepositions and then lie under it? Honey. We already practically know your waxer’s driver’s licence number. Give it a rest.

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Comments (60):

  1. Libby
    0

    She looks like a blow-up doll version of herself. Maybe this was the goal?

    I know we’re critiquing her, uh, “outfit” here, but I have to ask: why is this woman a celebrity? Is she one of those famous-for-being-famous types, or did she actually DO something initially and then leverage her public image from there?

  2. BB_Brune
    0

    Put it away lady!!!!
    And does she not know how to put on a sweater?
    The arms go iiiiiiiiiiinside the sleeves, hon.

  3. gladly
    0

    I don’t know this woman, but she makes me sad. When real people start colonizing the uncanny valley, there always seems to be some traumatic emotional baggage there.

  4. Eliza Bennett
    0

    So orange and puffy and horrifying! But the swimsuit with a self-aggrandizing magazine cover stuck to it is AWESOME. I want, like, a cable knit grandpa sweater with a magazine cover smack dab in the middle named “All About Eliza” with ridiculous article titles.

  5. Christy
    0

    Powder cr0tch!
    Blech.

  6. TaraMisu
    0

    She’s the UK’s Paris Hilton…. I think she was on their version of Big Brother too…

    The entire photo is SO orange!!!

  7. Kendra
    0

    @ Libby – she was a model at some point. A “glamour” model aka the models with fake…everything. And she was married to a singer, Peter Andre, and they had a reality show for a while. So yes, the Paris Hilton of the UK – except so much worse.

  8. Dina
    0

    I do like that the wig/extensions come with their own hair-version of a bejeweled headband.

  9. qwertygirl
    0

    What amazed me was reading the things on the cover–she’s so incredibly self-involved. Does she think the world really CARES if she gets married again? Does she think we’ve been losing sleep, thinking, “What DOES Katie Price think about celebrities’ styles? I MUST KNOW!” or perhaps that we’ve been thinking, “I don’t feel like I look trashy enough. I want to look REALLY trashy…let’s see, who’s the trashiest person I can think of? Katie Price! I’m dying to know what beauty products she uses to get that Ultra Slut look…oh if ONLY there were a magazine with this information!”

    Dear lord, talk about navel gazing. How many issues can she possibly get out of this? Once she covers off on her relationship, her kids, her thoughts (for lack of a better word) on other peoples’ style and what makes her so orange, what’s left for the second issue??

  10. JK
    0

    I can only imagine that anyone who has done to their looks what she’s done to hers really loathes themselves on some level.

  11. Kay
    0

    Ugh.

  12. Lina
    0

    Maybe the mag’s a cautionary tale about growing up to be a Barbie? Except in that way where the irony is unintended.

  13. The Other Molly
    0

    She needs to get over herself.
    In a big way.

  14. Kara
    0

    Where is that person who made that derogatory comment about Americans in the Kim K perfume post? Note that this thing ISN’T AMERICAN!

  15. Candy
    0

    How is it that she is wearing SO little and yet managed for none of it to match? Her nails, shoes & “bathing suit” all clash!

  16. Anne B
    0

    This is the most depressing thing I’ve seen all day.

    More depressing than the news of who will rebut the President’s speech tonight (yup: Bachmann. Again). More depressing than the bills I’m paying, the fog outside my windows, or my kid’s reactions to chores “but I have homework! That’s like my job!!” More depressing even than my doctor’s appointment later today: always the highlight of the week.

    Please, PLEASE top-post something else. Anything. Dogs playing chess in full Black Swan regalia: I’d Fug that.

    Just consider … demoting this a little? Because, ugh. :(

  17. AP
    0

    If you put your hands on your hipbones in public, and you can feel skin, there is something wrong.

  18. Callie
    0

    The biggest shock here is that Smiths are somehow ok with having their name all over the background. Smiths, come on! I leave the UK for a few years and suddenly you go from being the place kids buy their maths sets and grannies buy their holiday reads to THIS? As for the outfit: no words.

  19. vandalfan
    0

    Chin up, Anne B! At least we have the Fug gals to put a cheery spot in our otherwise drab and wretched lives. Plus, The Packers.

    This sweater reveal filled me with trepidation, but after Abi yesterday, the gal here seems so tame. I mean, your hind end and thighs are supposed to be exposed in a swim suit. She’s famous for being the lady who gets all the surgery to be a Living Barbie Doll, right?

  20. Anne B
    0

    “Plus, the Packers.”

    I love you, @vandalfan. <3

  21. Manderz
    0

    I do kinda like the shoes, they are very Dorothy gets lost on the way to OZ and stumbles into an “adult” clothing store….and SO SPARKLY

  22. Alison
    0

    Was a Page 3 Girl, glamour model and party girl, known as Jordan.
    Didn’t do Big Brother, but did ‘I’m a celebrity, Get me out of here’, & met Peter Andre, married him and then split. Then sent her next victim… sorry boyfriend onto Big Brother. Then married him, then split.
    She’s an utter nightmare and gets more cartoonish as the years go on. But I have to admit she’s had damn good, hard-nosed business sense and has amassed quite a fortune, which I wish she would just crawl off and spend quietly. She knows what she’s doing and what earns her money. She could very well qualify as most hated woman in Britain, but a lot of young and stupid people still fall for it.
    There you go, more than you ever needed to know about Ms Price!

  23. GwenB
    0

    Is it weird that all I got from this is that I think I kind of like the sweater?

  24. lynsey
    0

    OMFG, Katie.

  25. vandalfan
    0

    “Exclusive peek into mine and Princess’ wardrobe” is emblazoned on the front. Now, I’ll grant that the British might make their words possessive in ways foreign to the good ol’ US of A, but nobody in any English speaking location says “Mine Wardrobe.” Plus, she seems to be shooting the magazines out her hoo-ha, so she has some marketable skills.

  26. Kellyellyoxenfree
    0

    Is that like a wee thong tan line I spy? Gross!

  27. Pat
    0

    Her crotch offends me.

  28. Christopher D
    0

    Look, she no Bai Ling, she’s just a huge breasted plastic doll famous for being (I looked it up) oh darn, I forgot already. How about we just say no to the Khardashians and her as a start – FOREVER? (Still lots to write about left ladies…)

  29. Ana
    0

    For a spanish reader… Who the f**k is this woman?

  30. elle
    0

    This Guardian article by Alex Petridis might amuse and enlighten if you’re curious to know more about our Katie and her mag…

  31. anny
    0

    @Anne B – the more exposure Ms. Bachmann gets, the more opportunities to expose her. It’s not much but it’s all I’ve got.

    As to Ms. Price: I don’t think that bodice fits her very well.

  32. Christiane
    0

    Hehe, thank god you didn’t post the picture where she’s picking her wedgied bathing suit (or something like that) in front of the camera :)

  33. Jennifer
    0

    I have no idea what’s going on.

  34. Kendra
    0

    I’m so uncomfortable with how close we are to seeing her vagina. I thought nip-slips were bad.

  35. Jude
    0

    As I am British I can say with some authority that Katie Price is nowhere near as classy as Paris Hilton. She has no fans here as far as I am aware, apart from herself, and sometimes a newspaper called The Daily Star. When she discovers her appearance in your column she will take it as proof that America loves her.

  36. Willow
    0

    she looks like a praying mantis caught up in the Chernobyl Incident.

  37. Claire L
    0

    @ Kara … I am sending you a mental High 5 right now!

  38. Liz
    0

    I like the way one of the wall magazines appears to be growing out of her vagina.

  39. Giuseppi Giraffeq
    0

    Bountiful pontoons.

  40. Lisa
    0

    Who is she?

    I don’t know hardly any of the people on the covers of the tabloids in the checkout line. Is this because I don’t want reality tv? Who is this Justin guy Jennifer Aniston is going to marry in a fantasy island wedding? Who is the dude who just married Kim (I know she’s a Kardashian just her looks)?

    Thank gawd for Angelina and Brad. If they weren’t constantly on the verge of marriage or divorce or committing the other to an insane asylum, I’d be completely at sea.

  41. minette
    0

    omg, all i can think is OUCH, those boobs must HURT! so painfully taut! how can anyone live with that?!

  42. mary lou bethune
    0

    Who is this hideous, pathetic fake human? Does she think she looks good? Can’t these desperate people do any thing but try to garner attention and spend money? please…. at least the Kates and the Gwennie’s have some talent and some sense of the absurd…

    I am going to be sick.

  43. becs
    0

    Believe it or not, these are the “classy” photos of this event. There is one going around the web where she is adjusting the crotch of her suit right there in front of the press.

  44. Avalon
    0

    Her boobs are lumpy. Maybe she needs to get them replaced.

  45. Kimberli House
    0

    There is no way that the person in that second photo is a human. It’s like Slutty Barbie with Detachable Pubic Hair. Her best friend is a poster of herself, which is sold separately.

  46. jenny
    0

    I see that Avalon just beat me to it — she is a very lumpy lady. Not good lumps.

  47. Mahastee
    0

    This seriously made me ***shudder***

    Was the entrance with a carefully draped beige cardie supposed to fool us into thinking she was Aniston?

  48. Blanche
    0

    What is it? Can’t we ignore it? It doesn’t seem to be remotely aimed at humans who have been socialized in families and societies. I don’t feel good working up any sort of emotion over this.

  49. anna
    0

    We may all laugh, but she is absolutely rolling in cash, so she’s doing something right…

  50. Susanna
    0

    Do you suppose that someone once told her that an important principle in writing is ‘show, don’t tell’?

  51. Bambi Anne Dear
    0

    Can she read?

  52. Stephanie
    0

    Are my eyes deceiving me or is that some sort of, um….stain…on her crotch? TMI, lady, TMI.

  53. Bilbo
    0

    Hey, I didn’t think it was possible for her to sell out any more.

    Her food tatoo is stupid ugly.

  54. Bilbo
    0

    *foot

  55. ohhmissjones
    0

    She’s an absolute tit. I wish people here would stop buying her stuff and watching her shows and fuelling her career, because she’s awful.

  56. Sajorina
    0

    This is WAY too much Pamela Anderson on “Baywatch”… It’s already been done, Katie, 20 years ago!!! Can someone explain to me the braid of hair/hairband on her head?! Ew!!!

  57. S├Ąde
    0

    Oh my god. That is just… ugly old and veeeery fug !

  58. Erin
    0

    She has a MAGAZINE? HOW DID THIS EVEN HAPPEN?!?

  59. sweetwater
    0

    And betwixt her legs is a picture of her own face. It’s like she’s crapping herself out.

  60. PT
    0

    I’m SO glad you’re featuring the horror and boredom that is Katie Price. WHAT a bore. HOW badly dressed, badly advised, and insanely over inflated of ego is this woman? At least now she’s got her own magazine, other magazines have room for people of interest.