Fugta Fuga

I am concerned this is mostly plastic. And about whatever is happening in her crotch region because it looks simultaneously like I can see vagina; like a shiny unfurling tongue; and a bizarre sideways polterwang that I can only assume is a poor cover for smuggling rare salami.

It’s like a Rorschach test… made out of BLOOD and INSANITY. How has Hannibal Lecter not done that yet with his patients?

Also, I almost filed this under Rita Wilson. SURPRISE, Hanx!

[Photo: Getty]

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Comments (36):

  1. Gine

    Ugh, I can only imagine how hot and sweaty and gross I’d feel in that thing, were I insane enough to wear it.

    • Sarah B

      Not to mention all the horrific sticking and squeaking noises it would probably make when you sit down.

  2. Kate

    I hope someone on True Blood wears this at some point.

  3. Goldfish

    Her crotch? Clearly an early-model smartphone.

  4. Mair Mair

    Bordello Shower Curtain.

  5. qwertygirl

    Sheer is bad enough, but transparent? Ladies, ladies, STOP AND THINK FOR A MOMENT. This is going to escalate. One of these days, someone is going to come to an event wearing shoes and a clear shower curtain (tastefully fitted, of course), and NOTHING ELSE. No good can come of this trend. I beg of you all, stop now while we all have our dignity, and retain a modicom of coverage. Let’s all agree to leave SOMETHING to the imagination. Please?

  6.  hillary l.

    I appreciate the ovary/fallopian tube design. *Someone* has to bring female anatomical realness back to fashion *cough*.

  7. anonymoose

    And yet somehow this is cleaner than she has ever looked.

  8. margaret

    This dress definitely doesn’t sit well with the web ad banner just above it, which screams STARBURST–WHAT MAKES IT SO JUICY?!?!?

  9. Orange Clouds

    MY EYES!! Seriously girl, just because you can sing a few catchy tunes doesn’t mean I want to see your bits.

  10. deee

    I, God help me, thought it might be a good idea to look at the large version of this. There are no words. Let’s just say I just took one for the team. Do not repeat my mistake.

    •  Squirrel!

      Nope, I couldn’t take your word for it. I had to look myself. What is wrong with me??

    • JessicaAZ

      Nope. Did it before I read your warning. Damn…

      • Art Eclectic

        Me, too. I was just hitting the comments section to lament that Heather’s description compelled me to look at the full size. I don’t care what was and wasn’t really there, the fact that I’m looking at people’s crotches makes me feel like a I need a shower.

    • ericajeanine

      Ok, I’m not sure what it says about me, but I looked at the full size picture and I don’t see what all the warnings not to look at the full size picture are about. Actually, I’m going out a limb and say I don’t really think this is all that bad. I also like jumpsuits. What I don’t like are her hair extensions, but I also like her usual natural messy hair look.

      •  HelenBackAgain

        I think some are confusing the shadow of the back panel between her thighs for some sort of massive (and super-long) merkin. Really, all we can see here is a quite modest pair of panties.

        Not that I think we should be seeing those, but that’s all that’s there.

        I don’t like the extensions either.

        • sema4dogz

          Oh thank god Helen , for your pantie ananlysis . I thought….well you know what I thought.

        • Kristin

          Really, if “massive merkin” is being debated, you should just choose another outfit.

  11. luvthefuggers

    File this one under “just because you can does not mean you should.”

  12.  Louise

    It looks like a really ornate Fruit Roll-Up.

  13.  HelenBackAgain

    I think it’s patent leather. Which only means even MORE money and work went into making this than one might have thought initially…

    I don’t know. At least she’s wearing underwear?

  14. annie

    I think it would look better just above the knee.

    Just kidding!! it’s hideous.

  15. Carol

    Can we all agree that Rita is just not making it — sartorially or musically — and let’s move on … nothing appealing here on any level.

  16.  maryloubethune

    Self Delusion is a staple of the momentary celeb. Vulgarity and vile actions as well.
    What has she done to merit any attention? The other young no talents-Bieber, Rhianna, MIley, etc., are so difficult to escape even with extreme vigilance. It makes one think one needs a shower and a drink.

  17. TonyG

    This dress will win her Fug Madness next year.

    I went in for the close-up in order to see what the “shiny tongue” was all about, and got an eyeful of vaginal hair GRO(OHHHHHHHHH)SSSSSS! (Don’t mean to be a fuddy duddy about pubic hair, which of course, is natural, but in public….ewww!)

    • HelenBackAgain

      She’s wearing full-coverage bikini panties, clearly visible at the side even in the small version. You probably saw those.

      Think about it… does Rita Ora have blonde pubic hair? (Also, there’s no such thing as “vaginal hair.” That body part is 100% on the inside.)

      Not that it makes this dress good, that’s impossible, but there’s no crotch flash here. Just underwear.

      And now I’m laughing because I actually said “just underwear”… as if that’s normal! LOL

      • TonyG

        Yeah, re vaginal hair, I was struggling not to say pubes, but later just wrote “pubic hair”.

        Also, I agree that Rita Ora doesn’t have blonde pubic hair, but I clearly see a dark scraggly area where her pubes would be as she’s a natural brunette. The dark spot is definitely not the outline of panties, because they would have to go up to her hips to be panties. The dark scraggly spot is quite well situated to be hair. If it isn’t then perhaps it’s the background refracted through the plastic?

        • HelenBackAgain

          It’s the matching panel on the back of the dress. The same effect repeats between and just slightly above the knees.

  18. One of the Leahs

    Replace that transparency with solid fabric, and replace the patent leather likewise, and shorten it by several inches…and then I think I’d actually like it.

  19. cc

    That dress is the worst thing ever.

  20. Sajorina

    Who cares about Rita Ora? Now, I want to follow Tom Hanks!

  21. Guerra

    Someone got new hair extension.. & a hideous dress