Fugsie Fug


Good lord, child.

How many of these does she HAVE lying around, anyway? I mean, I guess it makes packing a snap — when all you wear is lycra, it rolls up nice and compact — but it also makes her look like a sunburned jungle cat; a bathroom break look like a forty-five minute endeavor; the entire evening like one long, agonizing stretch of sucking in while avoiding chewable food (which, DEATH FIRST, in my book), and her vagina look like geometry homework. So where’s the up side? Does Pythagoras have a theorem for that?

[Photos: Splash News]

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Comments (25):

  1. Adriele
    0

    Why, oh, WHY would you constantly wear something that would give your lady parts fits? I immediately get nervous when I see something like that bc you know what is coming. YOU KNOW! An assault by the seam of the catsuit on your… um… nether regions.

  2. GigiNYC
    0

    “…but it also makes her look like a sunburned jungle cat; a bathroom break look like a forty-five minute endeavor; the entire evening like one long, agonizing stretch of sucking in while avoiding chewable food (which, DEATH FIRST, in my book), and her vagina look like geometry homework.”

    I just giggled really hard at this.

  3. Carol
    0

    You never know when you will be shot out of a cannon!

  4. TaraMisu
    0

    I want to know how she avoids camel toe…. just sayin

  5. Chasmosaur
    0

    Makes LeeLee’s dress look better and better, doesn’t it?

  6. Sandra
    0

    Maybe it’s just body paint, like the Sports Illustrated “swimsuit” models.

  7. Adriele
    0

    HAHAHAHA my boss just saw this and said “I’ll theorem her Pythagoras.” Men.

    At least my boss is ok with me skipping work to focus on important things, ie this website. :)

  8. emster
    0

    The bathroom breaks must really really take forever. I’m stressed, to the point of having to pee, just thinking about it.

  9. meggyoh
    0

    I love Jessie J, saw her live, she’s amazing, she’s talented, she’s hilarious. I’m also pretty certain she must have her waxing salon on speed dial because SERIOUSLY.

  10. Lina
    0

    OMG, now the phrase “vulvar geometry” is stuck in my head. Make it stop. /o\

  11. Dazie
    0

    I like the shoes. Spiky!

  12. yeahandalso
    0

    the thing is they aren’t even flattering on her. I mean they’re not flattering on anybody but still she doesn’t even pull it off in a Britney Spears of 2001 sort of way.

  13. crystal
    0

    This photo gave me a yeast infection. :(

  14. ccm800
    0

    the only orifice this one is concerned with having access to is the nose.

  15. Shiitake
    0

    Always in costume.

  16. Girlin
    0

    Ridiculous and attention seeking without any redeeming features. Yuck..

  17. Shanti
    0

    And somewhere, Nicki Minaj is planning a raid on her closet.

  18. Mahastee
    0

    I know I should hate it, but I think she’s actually really working it. Seriously.

    • megs283
      0

      agreed! It’s a little vulgar down there, but otherwise it works. (Of course, I’d be horrified if I saw it on someone in real life.)

    • mshesterp
      0

      I…kind of agree with you. I should hate the whole thing, but on her, knowing what she wears, it’s something that works on her, and her body looks fab. It’s so ridiculous it just morphed into kinda awesome…on Jessie J. No one else!

  19. Veronica
    0

    ENOUGH WITH THE CAT SUITS, GIRL. ENOUGH.

    (P.S. – Those shoes are fierce, though, bb.)

  20. vandalfan
    0

    Presumably she orders Vagisil by the drum load. The hair is bad, but what the heck is happening behind her? One fellow, or two in a pantomime elephant suit? Couldn’t one of them lend her his jacket to cover up?

  21. kissmekat
    0

    OMG, everything you said..so funny.