Fugs and Pieces, December 2, 2011


First of all, a reminder! Come out to the Sherman Oaks Macy’s at Fashion Square Mall TOMORROW at 2pm to see me and Heather chat up Pretty Little Liars costume designer Mandi Line, and take in a fashion show! Please stick around afterward to say hello! Until then:

Wills and Kate and Harry are the official ambassadors of the 2012 London Olympics. Just when I thought I couldn’t be more excited.  She will have so many outfits! (Time)

– Oooh, let’s look at Elizabeth Taylor’s jewels! (Vanity Fair)

– One of my favorite characters on my beloved Parks and Rec is Jean-Ralphio. Let’s peruse his Guide to Manhood. (GQ)

– Wired names the Five Best Toys of All Time. On the list: dirt. (Wired)

– I too am concerned that the new movie starring my beloved Tim Riggins is going to be a hot mess. (Lainey)

– Wondering just how hammered you can get at your office party? Grub Street has the answer. (Grub Street)

Bret McKenzie talks about writing songs for The Muppets and it is awesome. “Chickens can only cluck. Sometimes I’d write lyrics and the chickens would sing; then I’d find out in the studio that they could only cluck. And for penguins, it’s a subject of much controversy as to whether the penguins can talk or not.” (Vulture)

– Enjoy this collection of memorable mustaches in sports. (Sports Illustrated)

– Speaking of sports, enjoy this piece about how the NY Giants quit on their coach…every year…for seven years…except for that one time they won the Super Bowl. Per sportswriters. Really amusing. (Grantland)

– I LOVE the idea that Jessica Biel and Anne Hathaway are currently in a bitter feud and are now blood rivals. Maybe this shall DESTROY THEM BOTH MWHAHAHAHAHAH. (Celebitchy)

– Page Six looks at the Curse of Clooney. Did you know Sarah Larson is back to waiting tables, and hating it? This article ain’t that flattering to Intern George, and I have to say I agree with that aspect of it: though he’s universally known to be a very nice boyfriend while it lasts, his habit of dating scores of much-younger and considerably less-powerful women is starting to look kind of gross. I hear Demi Moore is available, George — maybe try dating in your own age bracket for once. (NY Post)

– Let’s look at the libraries of famous writers! (Flavorwire)

– Speaking of writers, you will enjoy McSweeney’s look at genre fiction. (McSweeney’s)

Leave a reply

Comments (26):

  1. Chasmosaur

    Oh thank you for the McSweeney’s. Just what I needed on this darkening Friday afternoon on a day it didn’t get above freezing.

    *eats some Smartfood and in lieu of looking out the window, turns on her SAD lamp*

  2. Beezy

    Wow, the way that Clooney piece talks about women is horrible.

  3. Jessica

    Beezy, I tend to agree; but I also don’t think it was very flattering to anyone involved, including and perhaps especially to Clooney, who has a long-term habit of dating women who are much younger than he is, and who, due to a variety of reasons, tend to look as though they are on the low end of the power balance in the relationship.

    Obviously, this is all speculation and people’s relationships are fundamentally unknowable, but from the perspective of public opinion and his career, I think he is edging toward a place where — again, in terms of PR, I have no idea what he needs personally — he would be smart to date someone who ISN’T a 22 year old cocktail waitress, after he and Keibler are kaput (I think she, although young, is at least a welcome outlier in the sense that she was at least a celeb before they started dating and therefore it doesn’t feel as weirdly Pygmalion-y). I truly think his image would benefit if he were dating someone who feels like she’s at least his equal on some level (I don’t mean that in the sense of being a good person, or that he is “better than” any of these women, I’m just speaking in terms of someone similar in age, wealth, career, etc). I don’t at all think he needs to get married or have kids or whatever, but going out on a couple of dates with Demi Moore might do his image some good — because I think the worm is starting to turn with Intern George in terms of the public. I mean, when Page Six is writing something called THE CURSE OF CLOONEY….something is awry with your media management.

    • Beezy

      Oh, so true. His habits are a little skeezy. He’s that one uncle you really want to find someone nice and just stick with her because you can never remember the new one’s name and his girlfriends are starting to get closer to your age than his.

      But the way they talk about these women having nothing after the relationship with him ends, I think that’s a little rough. I mean, there’s no way I’d say no to George if he showed up at my cubical to take me away, and of course there’s a power imbalance, but just because I’m not a megastar when it’s over doesn’t mean my life is over. Maybe I’m a little optimistic in hoping that some of these ladies didn’t just hang on his every word and were maybe the ones who broke it off? Talia Balsam ended up married to John Slattery. Upgrade!

    • earthgirl

      Knowing all this about his life certainly adds an extra pathos to his performance in Up in the Air.

  4. Libby

    I’d love to hang out with Jean-Raphio, but Ron Swanson is definite the one to go to for advice.
    Wire got it exactly right with listing “stick” as the #1 toy. When my son was five he had what we now refer to as “the summer of the stick”. Every place we went, he found a stick, and in almost every picture he is holding one. Good times.

  5. Blanche

    Loved the 5 Best Toys article (6 with water). You can’t argue with success.

    Then I looked at the Hathaway-Biel thing and that brought me back down. They’re both superficially unlikeable, but if before I kind of hated how prissy and cloying Hathaway looks, now I also imagine she’s perhaps a petty moron. That and I should never look at your Celebitchy links. True Homunculus Fuggery.

    I know this is not football, which is what you love. Nonetheless, “When Saturday Comes” has a great weekly featurette describing soccer team badges around the world, and I’m posting it here for you, as a gesture of appreciation for all you do for wit: http://howl.wsc.co.uk/interface/external_view_email.php?B91697683377406976139876503324

  6. Miriam

    I think you will enjoy Anna Dello Russo 10 Rules for Christmas parties.

  7. Leah

    Well, I for one think that it’s time to fire Intern George and give Intern Pacey a shot at the job. I mean, Intern George hasn’t really been doing well on his performance evaluations lately, has he?

    • taylor

      Oooh! I agree. Intern Pacey would be FANTASTIC! And, as much as I used to like George Clooney (or his public persona, at any rate), this last go-around on the dating wheel makes him seem old, sad, out-of-touch and basically icky.

    • Chasmosaur

      Intern Pacey is nice, but Intern Hot Neville would be much better ;)

  8. ChristopherD

    Clooney makes Warren Beatty look positively shy and retiring.

    And “Memorable Mustaches”? are you kidding me? to start with where is the Shack? (I may not know sports but the Shack had a ‘stache!) Some of them were almost invisible… what’d they do, look for any picture with some sort of lip fuzz? Please!

  9. msd

    That “Five Best Toys of All Time” list is great … and soooo true.

  10. taylor

    Also, Jessica: you always have the BEST links. I love them, even when I’m not initially super-interested in the topic (ie Memorable Mustaches). Thanks!

  11. Breda

    I think Anne Hathaway is a couple years behind Keira Knightley on my Actress Love-Hate Cycle: early love due to perceived physical & personality similarities plus a role or two I loved them in, followed by hatred due to overexposure/overratedness/extreme jealousy for the roles they got. KK has come back around to love and respect (all it took was like three period movies wherein she was FABULOUS, even if she played each character the same way). AH is…a couple amazing movies away from returning to that, but I can see it happening.

    Compare this to Jessica Biel, on whom I have absolutely no opinion because I don’t think I’ve ever seen anything she’s been in. Yay?

  12. Kimberli House

    Jessica Biel sounds pathetic. She really needs to be reined in during interviews by someone because desperate and rejected is not the way to get hired for a project. I was so embarrassed for her when reading those excerpts.

    • Annie E

      Reading the article was really embarrassing. There was ANOTHER role that got away but I can’t remember what it was because I recycled that issue immediately after finishing it. Elle tried so hard to make her out as a wonderful actress who is just stuck as the beautiful action hero because casting directors lack imagination. It was ridiculous. There are scores of beautiful women who get the jobs Biel wants – it’s not her beauty or her abs that are holding her back.

  13. Joann

    I’m starting to wonder if Intern George is keeping a little something in his closet. It’s a bit odd how everytime he gets a girlfriend they make an extremely staged and OTT appearence in public where he’s all over them and then mere months later its all over. It’s almost like he’s trying too hard to prove something…

  14. Miranda

    1. I will admit it: Clooney never did anything for me. Having said that, his dating habits are not only gross agewise, but also powerwise. It seriously squicks me out.

    2. The “genre fiction” thing makes me really annoyed! The publishing/criticism world looks at novels written by a narrow demographic, within fairly narrow formal confines, as “real fiction,” and everything else is somehow lesser. What I am saying is, for some ungodly reason, I have to go around making excuses for loving sci-fi and fantasy and YA and books from other countries and graphic novels. I’m sorry I don’t want to listen to the same small in-group of white dudes think about ladies, O Publishers. I guess that makes me EVER SO GAUCHE.

    Sorry, just getting a couple of peeves off my back. Carry on.

  15. Big Noise

    The link to vanityfair.com about Liz’s jewels isn’t working for me. I event went to the VF website and it’s not working there, either. Anyone else having that issue?

  16. The Blossom Shed

    I refuse to watch any previews, shows or movies featuring Tim Riggins, he is not an actor, he’s RIGGINS, and living in Texas in a cut-off tee. Do NOT try and tell me that’s not real, I’m not listening.

    The Blossom Shed Beauty Blog

  17. LakeLucilleLoon

    Well, Clooney certainly has done something right, huh? He has all of the world calling him a jerk rather than recognizing that he’s gay.

  18. Kristina

    The whole Biel/Hathaway thing is so interesting to me; definitely, Biel is dreaming if she thinks she’s on Anne Hathaway’s level acting-wise (since really, she’s on Jessica Alba’s level) but the fact that Anne would even go to the trouble to responding, publicly or privately, about it makes her look worse, IMO. If you’re that much better, what the hell do you care what people say about you, or compare themselves to you? Let your stupid imdb page do the talking. Jeez.

    Just saying, I can’t see Meryl Streep acting like that, ever.

  19. AMS

    The slide show of Elizabeth Taylor’s jewelry was utter, complete eye candy. Thank you!

  20. ChaChaHeels

    When either Biel or Hathaway can inspire a collection of jewels like Lizzy, they can talk about their acting levels and consider their supposed talents aloud. Until then, really. Both choose lame projects, Biel needs a better agent not fashion magazines that do hatchet jobs, and Hathaway hosting the Academy Awards was the first time in my lifetime I stopped watching because I was bored out of my mind. Neither have anything to boast about, both are lightweights in the extreme and should be equally grateful for the overpriced careers they’ve wrangled, as there is no shortage of pretty half-wits doing underpaid and boring work in the world.