Fugs and Fabs: The Ladies of the Cannes Opening Ceremony


Come for the Junior Knowles; stay for two fug favorites who MAY have left their signature nonsense at home. LADIES. CANNES IS NOT THE TIME TO CLEAN UP ONE’S ACT.

[Photos: Getty]

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Comments (78):

  1. Edith
    +7

    I think Julianne Moore would’ve looked STUNNING if the skirt had been fitted to her form, instead of ballooning out to create some “directional” ugliness. Leave everything else the same, and make that whatever the tea-length formal equivalent of a pencil skirt is, and it would ROCK.

  2. Squirrel!
    +2

    I covet Lana Del Ray’s dress.

    • Edith
      +6

      I would, if it didn’t have a Free People hippy skirt attached to it….

  3. Andi
    +20

    How can we NOT talk about Julianne’s DEW CLAW shoes?! Ouch!

  4. lynn
    +10

    The shoes on Julianne Moore look like her pinky toe is outside the shoe, on both feet. It looks painful.

    • Emily Rang
      0

      Huffpost comedy zoomed in on them… they are outside of the shoe. Yeah. Ouch.

  5. Other Emily
    +5

    Phoebe Price’s face looks like she’s barely containing her crazy. So it’s still her, which is reassuring. Bai Ling never looks normal, not even in this dress, although it is actually very pretty. Isla Fischer — WOW! She has never looked better. She looks terrific.

    • Maria L.
      +1

      How does Phoebe Price have the money to go to Cannes, never mind get invited? Does she do anything?

      I much prefer Bai when he is wearing a bandaid. She actually looks dull when she tones down the cray-cray.

      • Fuh Ugh
        +1

        I KNOW! Why is she there? And how does she get beyond the ropes to the red carpet? The mind boggles…

  6. Melissa
    +14

    Julieanne Moore’s feet! Why are we not talking about how her shoes don’t fit and in fact her pinky toes are poking out the side! I saw a closeup yesterday and I was horrified that someone would allow her, that she would allow this to happen. I don’t even understand how she isn’t crying. HER TOES!.

  7. Kristen from MA
    +6

    Re: Cindy Not that she’s not still gorgeous, but things look different.

    Thank you! I’ve been saying that for a while now.

    As for Solange, I hate the sheer skirt thing and I do think she looks better in a dramatic color, but at this point I love her so much that she can do no wrong. Love her!

  8. Rose
    +1

    Ugh, Florence. Usually she’s at least INTERESTING…

  9. Bonnie Klein
    +3

    Julianne Moore should be in Fan Bing Bing’s dress — that color palette would be stunning on her.

  10. Ruth
    +1

    Don’t worry, Bai is still bringing the crazy. Her shoes are atop giant springs- she’s going to start bounding around on them, springing high into the air…

  11. Sweetsinger
    0

    Did anyone notice that there is no see-though to underthings?
    HOORAY!

    • Deborah Stultz
      +3

      If you look at Solange in “full size” you’ll see that there is. :-(

      • Alicia
        +1

        Agreed–I spied those granny panties a mile away under Solange’s dress. Yuck.

        • Sweetsinger
          0

          You’re right. Her dress was so blah and unflattering that I skipped right by it. Oh well. But at least there’s progress.

          • Emma
            0

            I know we all worship the ground Solange walks on, but there’s no getting around the fact that she’s wearing beige curtains.

  12. Edith
    +2

    P-Squared is at Cannes!!!! AGAIN!!!! I’m ticked pink. And she looks ridiculous, even if that’s relatively sedate.

    Oh, and I think Zhang Ziyi’s cigarette pants ensemble is kind of awesome. It would have been too twee as a dress, I think.

    • Jeanette
      +1

      I can imagine Marion Cottilard in a tea length version of that dress. That would look awesome

  13. sophie
    +3

    WHERE IS NICOLE KIDMAN? She looked AMAZING!!!

  14. Lynne
    +18

    Okay, you know what? This is the moment when I finally admit that I don’t like any part of Florence Welch. I realize that’s against the rules of the internet or whatever but I can’t with her anymore. Hate her singing. And I definitely hate this “ooh, look at me being quirky and artsy! I’m edgy because I’m wearing thousands of dollars but I still appear to have yanked it out of the bottom of a bargain bin.” Over it.

  15. Amanda In Austin
    +2

    I never noticed until now that the paparazzi at Cannes are wearing tuxedos. How much up its own ass is Cannes that it makes the paps were tuxes? CRAY-CRAY. And totally self-absorbed, Cannes.

    • Gaëlle
      +20

      They are not paparazzi, they are photographers with press cards and accreditations. And I appreciate that the dress code extends to them. Cannes should always be synonymous with Glamour.

    • gryt
      +1

      It doesn’t even look like tuxes to me, but regular black suits. Which all event photographers own.

  16. Megan Ishler Anderson
    +13

    I know it has already been pointed out, but TOES TOES TOES TOES TOES. Julianne Moore should have gone barefoot, or traded shoes with her husband, ore done anything other than step out in the toepocalypse that is happening here.

    • Marnie
      0

      Toepocalypse! Word of the year! Yeah, abominable shoes. The whole look is a mess. Sort of a half-hearted mullet skirt chopped off at exactly the awkward length to make us notice those SHOES, nasty stiff fabric, blah colour.

  17. TonyG
    +4

    Julianne Moore’s dress makes her look like she’s 4 feet 8 inches. Alternatively, it could be that in slide 5 (the front-facing photo), underneath the skirt portion of the dress she’s trying to do that Michael Jackson dance move in the Billie Jean video where he sings “she-hee-hee” and then simultaneously bends his knees, pops on his toes, freezing and punctuates his pose with a “WOOOOOO”!

  18. Heidi Landskroener
    +3

    I haven’t even seen that much Dr Who, but Zhang Ziyi’s top reminded me of a dalek.

  19. hfree
    +4

    Okay, I’m going to admit something, I covet Phoebe’s tiara. I think it’s gorgeous (and it’s possible I’ve spending too much time over at the Royal Order of Sartorial Splendor).

  20. Helen
    +2

    Fan Bing Bing might be Best Dressed. A little princessy, I know, but her natural grace and dignity make it work for me.

  21. Katie
    +1

    How did you not mention Julianne Moore’s shoes?!

  22. Elspeth
    0

    There’s a photo of Julianne Moore on the BBC website where she’s walking and the dress looks much better. I didn’t notice her toes before though.

  23. Debra
    +4

    saw the picture of Bai Ling and the first thought that popped into my head…honest to god is where has Phoebe Price been…then BAM…THERE SHE IS….thanks fug girls for saving the best for last..you have my gratitude!!!

    •  Christy
      +10

      YES! Bai Ling and Phoebe Price in the same post is so OLD SCHOOL GFY.
      Made.My.Day.

  24. Roosje
    0

    It’s so nice to know that Bai Ling is still alive and doing things, I can’t believe we haven’t seen much of her since she won fug madness (in what feels like years ago)

  25. Anne
    0

    aww, I feel all old-home-week about PP and Bai Ling. They weren’t even included in Fug Madness this year, were they? Glad to see they’ve pulled themselves together and come back to the party with fresh lipstick.

  26. littlepurpledragon
    0

    Could you guys also cover this Indian actress called Sonam Kapoor? She’s put up some interesting pictures of her Cannes clothes on Instagram and I’d really love to see her reviewed be you guys. She’s generally quite fashion forward, and I think she hung out quite a bit with Freida Pinto.
    Thanks :)
    She’s Anil Kapoor’s daughter btw (the guy who hosted the Millionaire show in Slumdog, and I think he was in Ghost Protocol too.)

  27. McLisa
    +2

    Ha! Georgia Jagger’s dress looks like a dramatic representation of the biohazard/medical waste bin in the doctor’s office. I think the cutout symbol in the center is upside down though.

  28. KMG
    0

    Bai looks so much better, but is she…squatting? Her stance is really weird.

  29. mary lou bethune
    0

    The Jagger girl would not be a model were it nor for her name. So many wanna bes here..
    Naomi looks fantastic but the rest are varying degrees of boring, self absorption, frumpy even.
    Nicole is so above all of this melange.

  30. Steph
    +2

    The FEET! OMG the FEET! I’m in slippers right now, and they ache just looking at poor Julianne’s. Plus, Solange is wearing the see-through-old-school-bathingsuit look. *sigh*

  31. H.C.
    0

    Now, I miss Bai & Phoebe’s crazeballs outfits (along with Juliette Lewis)

    • derpshooter
      +1

      Me too! I didn’t realize one of the voices in Bai’s head was a WASP-y old lady. The other voices need to gang up on it.

    • derpshooter
      0

      Me too! I didn’t realize one of the voices in Bai’s head was a WASP-y old lady. The other voices need to beat it into submission.

  32. Pam
    +5

    I have extremely wide feet and I learned in the second grade that wearing shoes that don’t fit just isn’t worth it. She can afford custom shoes if she insists on sandals. Otherwise do what girls on a budget do. Wear a long dress to cover up your boring yet comfortable shoes. No matter how awesome the shoe, if your toes stick out it just looks ridiculous.

  33. Sara Raju
    +1

    i think lorie looks a little bit like she was on her way to prom when a jellyfish decided to eat her.

  34. Sydneysider
    0

    I actually liked Freida after a long time.

    And wtf was Zhang Ziyi wearing, I used to love her.

    The rest is meh.

    • derpshooter
      +1

      I can’t believe no one is talking about her horrible hair. That wig looks plastic.

  35. le parkour
    0

    I’m total agree witch you guys.
    le parkour http://www.parkour24.com.pl/

  36. Lesley Davis
    0

    Bai Ling apparently lost her luggage en route from Brussels, so had to find an emergency Dior. That’s what she said.

    • Marnie
      0

      She should always lose her luggage then. She looks fab, apart from the ghostly makeup and awkward pose.

    • elaine
      0

      Ah, I hate it when I have to find an emergency Dior. Isn’t that more or less how we ended up with Hathaway’s nipples at the Oscars?

  37. Vivian Leppard
    0

    I don’t believe that they DID change the fabric on Lana Del Rey’s dress. If you look closely it looks like they pleated the same fabric. The fabric looks like a border print that is either very wide and has two borders or they turned it around at mid thigh, pleated it, and then attached it. I don’t know what kind of fabric the designers have access to but there are a lot of border print fabrics around for home sewing today and this is a really interesting way to use one.

  38. greenlily
    0

    Naomie Harris looks stunning. Brava.

    Honorable mention: Zhang Zhiyi’s full-skirt-over-pants isn’t doing it for me, per se (I agree with whoever said that the dress looks like something Marion Cotillard should be wearing in a tea-length version) but Zhang herself is so quietly beautiful that I’ll give it a thumbs-up anyways.

  39. anonymoose
    +1

    Have to ask, does Solange have a career? and WHY is she at Cannes? What is she even ABOUT? So puzzling. She is always more interesting than her sister, though, so that is saying something.

    Whatever the reason, those freaky illusion sleeves and the autumn garden debris on her voluminous dress leave me shuddering. (So much that I shall not click further into the gallery.)

    • Helen
      0

      Then there’s that spot that looks like a stain leaking from one boob.

      Disturbing!

  40. janetfan
    0

    NIPPLES IS BACK! This is giving me life right now :D

  41. tigers4us
    0

    I was going to post, “Why is ____ at Cannes?”, but then I saw Phoebe Price. ‘Nuff said.

  42. mrbruno
    0

    Is it me or is Cindy Crawford beginning to look like Raquel Welsh???

  43. Lily1214
    0

    I’ve seen Solange look a lot better. I think the color’s off.

  44. derpshooter
    +1

    If Indy is coming to help Georgia Jagger, he needs to hurry up. She looks like she’s already below 5% batter life and is about to automatically power off. Seriously, girl what is wrong with you? Why would you smoke that many joints right before walking the red carpet?

  45. Marnie
    0

    Florence takes the fug prize in this collection, I say. Those hideous, inexplicable shoes look like they were inspired by heavy digging equipment. And even with the giant size of them her sad pink dressing gown is still trailing on the floor.

    • Marnie
      0

      Oy, and what about the guy behind her in a SEQUINNED tux and flares that cover his shoes??

      • Sydneysider
        0

        I think that is Amitabh Bachan, apparently some major Indian superstar.

        Whatever who wears a SEQUINNED tux!

  46. Marnie
    +2

    That is surely the worst thing Solange has ever worn. Even her head can’t save it. In fact atop that mess you expect to see the face of an 80-year-old on a big night out in 1972.

  47. googler
    0

    ACK, Julianne, your poor little pinky toes!

    Isla looks fabulous!

    And I’m ROFL over the Indiana Jones thing.

  48. Akit
    0

    A veritable plethora of scroll down fugs here.

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    0

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