Fugs and Fabs: The ABC Upfronts


I know this is sacrilege, but y’all, I was really super bored by the Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. clip from upfronts. The Once Upon A Time spinoff even looked better, and that — while potentially legitimately okay in some aspects — involves a lot of really serious utterances of the word “genie.”

Lotto show Lucky 7 seems blah (didn’t we already do this when it was called Windfall and it starred Luke Perry and Lana Parilla?); Killer Women has a terrible title and may not be lighthearted enough about itself to make up for it; Resurrection seems more like a miniseries but I was surprisingly moved by parts of it; Betrayal looks like it will be incredibly dull when stretched across 13 (much less 22) episodes; Mind Games seems promising but maybe that’s just by comparison; and Mixology… looks like a total shitshow in the vein of the rapidly canceled and widely reviled My Generation from the 2010 season. The tagline is basically One Season, One Bar, One Night, and thirteen to twenty-two hours set inside one bar with those characters sounds so claustrophobic that I almost tunneled out of my house just from the clip alone.

As for the comedies… OH WAIT, Mixology IS supposed to be a comedy, which is the funniest thing about it from what I can tell. Super Fun Night appears only to embody one of those words, and it’s neither of the first two (sorry, Rebel Wilson); Trophy Wife is very whatever, Back In The Game meh, and The Goldbergs just makes me want to go stream some Wonder Years episodes and regret that Dan Lauria wasn’t immortal and ageless because every nostalgic show about childhood should involve him. Jeff Garlin’s unmodulated barking stresses me out in this context.

Potential Fug The Show candidates: Zero, as far as I can see. Sigh.

[Photos: Getty]

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Comments (33):

  1.  Corriner
    +5

    If Olivia Pope ever wore anything other than white, beige, light blue or grey, I would keel over and die.

    (From happiness)

  2. Karen G
    0

    Pysch’s Maggie Lawson? How does she have time to be in something besides Psych?

    • Helen
      +2

      We Psych-Os have all been wondering that, sadly, since her pilot got picked up. It’s very likely we’ll see a lot less of her.

      • ICan'tEvenWithThat
        +1

        So Psych is still on, though? I like Maggie Lawson and all, but I adore Psych.

        • Sajorina
          +1

          “Psych” is still on and was renewed for an 8th Season, but I guess it would be without Maggie!

          • esther p.
            0

            poor Shawn!

          • Helen
            +2

            Reportedly she’ll be available to do five of the thirteen episodes commissioned, so she won’t be absent entirely, but it’s still a big loss. The main reason I watch is that the ensemble fits together so perfectly.

  3. Alice
    +3

    I had no idea Bellamy Young was so pretty. The vibrant American flag colours she wears, in addition to her hair, really distract me from what she looks like. She’s the primary colour foil to Olivia’s anti-colour brigade.

    I loved The Avengers, but was also bored by the SHIELD promo. Points for having some action scenes set in Paris as opposed to NYC (the Eiffel Tower had better survive those shenanigans) but otherwise, zzzz. I’ll give it a shot for that English scientist kid, though. He was excellent in a 6-episode UK show called The Fades (which also starred Gendry from Game of Thrones as the hottest sort-of zombie that has ever been, and Natalie Dormer as the second-hottest zombie. Yum.)

  4. Helen
    +1

    Not crazy about that print on Rebel Wilson, but the cut is flawless and her shoes are dynamite.

    Totally agree about Julie Bowen’s shirt hem. Polterwang is like what another poster said earlier, wonderfully, about cameltoe: It is not enough merely not to have it, one must be above suspicion as well.

    Marta Milans must have thought these were the auditions for Dancing With The Stars.

    Maggie Lawson had better not take a deep breath. Or laugh, or hiccup, or sneeze…

  5. Angie J. Han
    +5

    I am not sure who Marta Milans is but she appears to be wearing the Great Gatsby marketing campaign in dress form.

    • Lizzy
      0

      Yeah, or maybe she borrowed it from the “Chicago” movie wardrobe. Pretty sure Renee Z wore this on one of her dance numbers.

  6. Kat
    +3

    I just realized how much I miss seeing Tricia Helfer on my screen. I read somewhere that Killer Women was supposed to be a female version of Justified – which sounds awesome though I’m having my doubts. (As for the endowment – I’d say it’s artful boob wrangling, doesn’t look that different from BSG stills).

    • Angela Brown
      0

      I think I kind of know what Heather is talking about with the boobage – I seem to remember being shocked at one point when Number 6 came back from the season hiatus with a bigger chest. Could be a better bra, but it was definitely noticeable.

  7. Nanny
    +1

    I don’t like what that dress is doing to Hayden’s chest. I know it’s just an illusion of the cut, but I don’t like the effect and there are better cuts of that bandage dress.

    • Helen
      +4

      I don’t like Hayden’s whole outfit, or styling. And I hate when that happens because I adore her cute face and figure. I think she is just darling and I always want her to look good. Did not happen here.

  8. Lynne
    0

    I really wish Rebel would ditch the bangs but then I feel that way about a lot of hairstyles. I like that dress on her and she’s awesome so… she’s got that going for her.

    Omar Epps appears to have borrowed his little brother’s tie. But yeah, he’s going to be Dr. Gant forever.

    I’m about ready to steal that dress right off of Bellamy Young. I love it.

  9. Squirrel!
    +10

    Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.? Is that anything like Mac and C.H.E.E.S.E.?

  10. AM
    0

    “I don’t like Hayden’s whole outfit, or styling. And I hate when that happens because I adore her cute face and figure. I think she is just darling and I always want her to look good. Did not happen here”.
    I was just coming here to write the exact same thing about Eden Sher. I LOVE her character, Sue, on The Middle.

    • ringthing
      +3

      I too was coming here to show my support of Eden Sher. What a great little actress, she has the whole Indiana geeky high school girl thing down, with all the trimmings. That show is kind of under appreciated imho.

      • alohamama
        0

        I love me some Sue Heck! I WAS her, but too scared to BE her growing up…I think that Eden Sher is fantastic.

  11. KTB
    +4

    Yay, Josh Malina!!! Seriously, has he been hiding under a rock since the West Wing??

    …or just hiding in plain sight on a bunch of shows I’ve never seen. Thanks, IMDB.

  12. Eli
    0

    Speaking of Scandal how did I not know until yesterday that Harrison was a Britney Spears’ backup dancer/boyfriend? He is so serious and be-suited on that show that I cannot even picture that.

  13.  Janice
    +1

    I don’t understand Hayden P.’s hair. It’s like someone started doing corn rows on her, then said “wait! we’re running out of time”, pulled them all out, and put everything into a sloppy braid.

    And sigh. Purple on a blonde = Easter egg.

    • Ericajeanine
      +3

      I think Hayden has naturally wavy/curly hair based on some of the things I’ve seen her in when she was a child. It looks like her hair was braided while in its natural texture instead of it being straightened first.

    • Squirrel!
      0

      Hayden P. definitely has naturally very curly hair. I remember her curls when she was Ally McBeal’s 12-/13-year-old daughter, and her hair was incredibly curly to hilariously frizzy on Malcolm in the Middle when she was a teen.

  14. Sajorina
    0

    I love and want Bellamy Young’s dress & Jessica Capshaw’s shoes! And now I’m worried because I love “Psych” and I love Maggie Lawson in it, so what is going to happen when she leaves to do “Back in the Game”? I don’t want “Psych” to change! Why would she leave to do something else? *Sigh*

  15. Carol C.
    0

    Does the Zarco ad have to run on EVERY page??? I understand the need for ads, but if I hear the word TRISTILLATION again I might hurl.

    • Squirrel!
      0

      There’s no escaping it unless you turn off the sound on your computer/device. :-(

      • Maisie
        0

        Wow! I feel incredibly lucky–maybe not winning the lottery lucky, just not having to listen to a Zarco voice over lucky. My sound is on but thankfully these pages are silent. I am concerned, though, that the really creepy blond levitating the bottle is actually Emma from The Following with a new dye job and she’s going to stab me when I try to leave the Fug website.

  16. traceur
    0

    I’m total agree witch you guys.
    traceur http://www.parkour24.com.pl/traceur/parkour-traceur/

  17. greenlily
    0

    I adore Josh Malina, covertly striped, overtly striped, or otherwise. Jeremy Goodwin <3 <3

    (I also adore Elizabeth Henstridge's skirt, but Voltron appears to be camouflaging himself in her cleavage. Does Tony Stark know about this?)

  18. luxsword
    0

    Hayden Panettiere looks great. Her hair is fun. Her dress is beautiful. No complaint.