Fugs and Fabs of the Kentucky Derby: The Women


Well, the good news is that although the Awesome Abdication Shenanigans in the Netherlands are over, the Kentucky Derby just raced into with a bunch of hats to entertain us in our currently royalty-free lives.

[Photos: Getty]

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Comments (62):

  1. sophie
    +2

    They all look horrible and tacky, apart from Jane Seymour. Also, I thought Coco Rocha was Ashley Greene…

    • Billie
      +2

      I totally agree about Jane Seymour.

      She is also the only one who deployed nude shoes correctly with all that red. The others? Not so much.

  2. goldfish
    +11

    Lucky, lucky Angela Bassett, standing in front of her closet going, “Well, it really doesn’t matter what I wear, as long as it’s sleeveless so my cut, toned arms can incite jealousy and admiration among all present.” And she’s what, in her fifties?

    As she said about said arms in an interview I read, “Well…everybody’s got something.”

    That aside, it’s a beautiful dress.

    • goldfish
      +5

      …I mean this in a positive and literal way about Angela Basset, not a sarcastic way. Just sayin.

  3. Eliza Bennett
    +4

    Neither of Coco Rochas’ outfits are cute, apart from the fabulous hats. That orchid stunner especially deserves more. Whither sequins?

    • True_Blue
      +1

      Love the orchid hat (I’m saying this as someone who can’t wear hats due to having been born with giant headitis and also blessed with hat hair from hell). But how do you put on a hat angled like that? Is it all done with lots and lots of bobby pins?

  4. mary lou bethune
    +2

    Angela Bassett looks wonderful. The rest are rather tacky. Why on earth was Coco Roche there – insanely overdressed but I do like her attitude. And yes, you can overdress for the Derby. It’s just not the article to do so, either.

    • goldfish
      +5

      It really is impossible to find a photo of Angela Bassett where she looks bad.

      • Esme
        +1

        Really? To me, she looks like mutton dressed as lamb here.

        • Tiffany
          +6

          “Mutton dressed as lamb” is really disrespectful, but I could see it applying to those folks that like to show too much T&A later in their lives. I cannot, however, see how it applies to Angela here. Her dress isn’t too short, she isnt showing cleavage, her dress simply highlights her strengths: tiny waist and great arms.

          I think she looks completely respectable and appropriate for her age.

  5. Jen
    +3

    That was a whole lot of “blech.” Ug! So many ugly clothes and beige shoes.

    I do approve of Angela Bassett and Jane Seymour. And there’s something that I kind of love about Krysten Ritter’s dress, I think.

  6. Mel
    0

    I’m surprised you girls don’t really like LC? She may be a manufactured persona, but it’s a beautiful, stylish and classy persona.

    • Stefanie
      +3

      I love Lauren but I totally agree with what the commentary. She’s usually so much better!

      • Jessica
        +1

        I actually like Lauren very much. I just don’t care for her outfits on this occasion. (At least one of them is her own design; sorry, LC.)

  7. C-No
    +16

    “FINE I WILL LEAVE MY HEART OPEN.” I laughed and laughed. I hate those stupid, ugly necklaces, but I do love Jane.

    • Kary McGonigal Barrie
      +3

      The world’s ugliest celebrity designed jewelry. For real.

  8. hb
    +19

    Wow, Miranda lambert’s dresses look like they belong on 14 yr olds…junior prom style

    not doing her any favours!

  9. Mouse
    +3

    I’m very surprised you liked Coco Rocha’s dress since, despite the Laura Ashley-ness of it – it’s actually sheer bottom over what looks like boy shorts.

    HMMM?

    • Annie E
      +2

      I feel like Jessica had to have missed the sheer skirt because HIDEOUS.

  10. Rose
    0

    God bless Miranda Lambert and the fact that she is just sassy/determined enough to pull those outfits off.

    Coco Rocha, on the other hand, does not seem to know where she actually is.

    • Helen
      +1

      She never does. I find it delightful from a distance, but it must be wearying to actually know her.

  11. goldfish
    +2

    The thing that cracks me up about Miranda Lambert is thinking of her going, “I’m tired of all this bad ol’ press. I’m going to clean myself up and go to the Kentucky Derby.” And those outfits are just what she had on hand.

  12. mj
    0

    OH I’m so disappointed you didn’t have Jane Seymour’s Oaks Day dress on here! THAT you would have loved! You need to add that day to your line-up ladies…much more entertaining.

  13. Rowynn
    +8

    How could a person with enough good taste to pick out that lovely dress and hat then turn around and choose those hideous black shoes? I am referring to Krysten Ritter. Seriously, how could anyone think those shoes complimented that outfit? I am baffled.

    • Dazie
      +5

      Yeah. Hooves are for horsies, Krysten.

    • Helen
      +1

      “Complemented.” Different word.

      It is too bad about the shoes, but she looks amazing in that picture hat.

      • Kristin
        0

        Her hat is great, but the skirt of her dress is evil. If it makes a lanky gal like Krysten look frumpy, it’s awful indeed.

  14. Dazie
    0

    Loved Coco Rocha’s hat outfit, I saw it in another slideshow this weekend and I actually went “OOO!”

    The rest- I went “yawn.” I didn’t even have a capsy YAWN. Just yawn.

    Somewhere there’s a picture of Jennifer Tilly in a hat. Maybe it was last year? I don’t know. But I think she wore a hat.

    In the msnbc.com slideshow, every single hat was “festive.” “Race attendee wears a festive hat.” “That person is wearing a festive hat.” “We assume those ladies are wearing festive hats, but since it’s raining, the allegedly festive hats are covered by plastic bags.”

    • Eandh
      0

      jezebel.com has a pic of Jennifer Tilly in a hat, and it’s a great hat. I think this lace outfit is from the evening gala, she has a different dress on with the hat.

  15. qwertygirl
    +7

    Now I have “Tell it to my heart” stuck in my head. *sigh*

  16. rebecca
    +1

    K-Ritt might be a bit on the nose with the ensemble, but I must say that her face is crazy pretty here.

    I wish all the ladies of Hollywood and its nether regions would wear buttons that informed us if they had a stylist or did it themselves…. Does anybody do it themselves?

    What does the Kentucky Derby mean to a Hollywood stylist? What does the White House Correspondents dinner mean to a stylist – or a starlet, for that matter… I think I’m having a crisis right now.

    Sitting here in a hoody and fleece jammie pants having an intellectual crisis about fashion…blergh…need more Diet Coke…

    • Bambi Anne Dear
      +1

      I think that apart from the clunky shoes she looks brilliant.

  17. LB
    0

    Did any real celebrities go or are they all in New York for the Met Gala? And Angela Bassett – I love you, but this is beneath you :(

  18. Sajorina
    +5

    I think Kristen Ritter thought “Kentucky Derby? That’s the south, so I’ll dress like Lemon Breeland on a Sunday!” And, except fort the shoes, I kind of dig it!

    • Jennifer
      +3

      I thought she looked like she was wearing Scarlett O’Hara’s nightgown.

  19. Kristen from MA
    0

    Gah! Heather Hemmens’ strapless bra can be seen through the latticework cutouts of her dress. That is not right!

  20. kfletch
    0

    Best Taylor Dane story ever told: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jSwzYB545hY. Also, did she always look like a lion?

  21. witjunkie
    +1

    I liked both Coca Rocha’s outfits, and in the suit she was probably less freezing than those other knuckleheads. I like the second dress too, and I find I have less animosity for a sheer skirt if the opaque part is OVER the sheer, rather than under it. But WHAT is with her hair? So weird looking. That dress needed a hat for no other reason.

  22. maryse
    0

    i kind of don’t get this kentucky derby get-ups. almost everyone looks a little ridiculous.

  23. Emmy
    +8

    I thought Ritter was Hathaway. Quick, somebody cast them in an odd-couple sister dramedy!

    • Alameda Peg
      +1

      Oh, thank goodness it’s not just me. I think this every time I see her.

  24. Esme
    0

    Ritter has the only dress on that I loved; Miranda Lambert would looks so much better an thinner in something with sleeves–as it is, she looks ridiculous.

  25. deee
    +4

    I imagine that GFY readers and country music fans don’t intersect on the Venn diagram so I feel the need to share a Miranda Lambert song. Think of her wearing her Kentucky Derby dresses and singing this chorus:

    Go and fix your make up, girl, it’s just a break up
    Run and hide your crazy and start actin’ like a lady
    ‘Cause I raised you better, gotta keep it together
    Even when you fall apart
    But this ain’t my mama’s broken heart

    • Amy
      +1

      I’m a long-time GFY reader and a recent country music convert. …..because the lyrics are just the best stories ever! And refreshingly, there are no bitches & ho’s.

    • Rose
      0

      EXACTLY the lyrics I was thinking of when I saw her outfits.

  26. Heidi
    +2

    I also love Coco Rocha’s hat, but was I the only one who was disturbed by how well she would fit into the Capitol?

  27. Katie
    0

    Jennifer Tilly DID wear a hat to the Derby, this photo is from one of the parties on Oaks night.

    Also, I saw Christa B. Allen in the Pegasus Parade on Thursday (I live in Louisville) and I got out my camera and squealed like a little girl. My dad said “who is that?” and I replied “she was in Fug Madness this year!” Her parade outfit did not disappoint -black and white prison stripes and skin tight.

  28. mepe
    +1

    I just want to thank Miranda Lambert for that reminder (in the form of 2 awful and illfitting dresses) why not all of us should wear strapless dresses.

  29. Unstable Isotope
    0

    I never realized that Krysten Ritter looks a lot like Ann Hathaway.

  30. exquisite red
    +1

    I think Jane Seymour looks stunning. Hey, she’s wearing a bracelet! And practical – the same one goes with both outfits! She might even be wearing the same shoes with the pink dress. I’m going to assume she’s a savvy traveler & say she is. I don’t even mind the shoes on her look – what other color would have been better? Not black, too heavy, & red is too matchy (she’s already nearing the land of too matchy as it is). Definitely not the worst deployment of nude shoes.

  31. Mjx
    0

    Is it something wonky about the image, or is Miranda Lambert’s outfit actually making her look like somebody sat on her and squished her?!

  32. Mjx
    +1

    Coco Rocha look’s one second away from cracking up over her full awareness that that hat looks as though it drunkenly fell over sideways, and began barfing orchids. Brilliant.
    But her hair… is she in the middle of/just finishing a series of shows? I can’t think of anything else that would make her hair look so… mugged. Also, although I like the flowered dress, the shoes are just so wrong with it, that strikes me as definitely a round-toe shoe dress.

    Just generally, what the hell is the deal with all the shiny beige shoes these days? They’re ghastly.

  33. bettymac
    0

    Speaking of Ashley Tisdale: She’s good in just about everything, seriously. But she’s especially good as the voice of Candace Flynn in “Phineas and Ferb.”

  34. Julie
    +1

    I was at the Derby and what no one is saying out loud is, those women were FREEZING. It was like 50 degrees and raining all day, and the red carpet area was outside. Despite the heat of the lights, it was still pretty grim. Although I know all the celebrities went up to Millionaires Row and were indoors for the racing, it was NASTY down there in the out-of-doors.

    Also I saw Lauren Conrad when she arrived and honestly I thought for a minute she was naked. She and her dress and hat and shoes were all basically the same color.

    •  LibraryChick
      0

      I thought Ms. Conrad was trying to evoke the look of the polo scene from Pretty Woman but in a lighter hue. She should have gone darker and picked a different hat if that was her intent.

  35. Lori
    0

    I didn’t realize how much I missed Psycho Derek, er, Matt Barr until I saw a picture of him. Come on, CW!

    • Lori
      0

      Although to be fair, I guess they did at least give him Hellcats after his OTH stint. However, I am greedy; I want more!

  36. Karen G
    +2

    Coco Rocha, whose name always reminds me of those candies, Ferraro Rocher, looked really great. She & Star Jones were my favorites.

    Your comment about Thugs Up reminded me of this party in South Beach. Our company threw this party in South Beach one night several years ago. I had a lot to do for the party, then the evening of the party, had to race back & get dressed up for it. Attended, schmoozed with clients like a good employee. Afterwards we all, en masse, went dancing on Ocean Drive, in this crazy bar with overweight waitresses dancing on the bar in too tight fishnet stockings. Anyway, I don’t drink, it was really late, and I’d just had enough. To top it all off, this guy I liked who was also there had been flirting with other women all night. And not me. So I duck out, and head back to the hotel by way of a diner that served great chocolate shakes, all by myself, in the wee hours, feeling totally bummed. A couple of thugs walk past me, and say, “Great dress.” Perked me right up. So two thugs up indeed!