Fugol Alt


When I watch her on Celebrity Apprentice — which is secretly one of the funniest shows on TV right now (against very little competition, but whatever); the episode where Jim Cramer guest-judged and was SHOCKED and HORRIFIED at Gene Simmons essentially forcing Trump’s hand in firing him actually had me laughing out loud, I’m embarrassed to say — I think that Carol Alt is aging rather well.  This is not to say I don’t believe she’s had any tweaks here and there; just that whatever it was worked nicely. I mean, Trump couldn’t stop talking about how hot she was, but he does like tight cheekbones in his ladies apparently, so maybe that’s the draw.

Anyhoo, I just don’t think Carol Alt should vault from being told by The Donald every hour how beautiful she is, to reminding us with clothes that she’s been around for eons.

This outfit feels so dated, not unlike the Ali Larter abomination from earlier. Tiffani Thiessen probably had to wear THIS, too, in some episode where Valerie was seriously bumming out about Dylan and/or booking horrible musical acts at the Peach Pit After Dark. It’s like Carol Alt hasn’t been shopping in 15 years. And, frankly, I don’t ever need to see navel on the red carpet. In this photo it almost looks like a creepy prosthetic stomach, the kind of thing that, say, a really insane soap opera character would order in a series of sizes to better fake a pregnancy by flashing it all around town. We are assuming Carol Alt is not trying to convince anyone that she’s having her archrival’s husband’s baby because they slept together during a tornado to keep warm and thought they were both going to die. So, even though she’s still svelte at Whatever Age, she’d have looked so much classier flaunting it a different way. If you’re that stoked about your stomach, great, but at a formal event you should keep that between you and your Ab Roller.

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