Fugnifer Nettles


Please note that I am NOT fugging the fact that Jennifer Nettles is so pregnant she was in real risk of giving birth, like, mid-lyric. Girlfriend is just doing her job.

But I’m not as happy with the person who decided it was his/her job to dress her fetus up as a Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer cabaret show.

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Comments (46):

  1. glee
    0

    That might be a big-ass bow on her ass. And is that slit in the skirt for easy access to the baby purse?

  2. Jill
    0

    I read elsewhere that this is for a Christmas Special to air in December. That being said, that dress looks uncomfortably tight. It does look like Rudolph’s big red nose sticking out there! Maybe that was the intention?

  3. Joyce
    0

    She must have the greatest sense of humor!

    • Fawn
      0

      I’ve seen her on several talk shows, and she always seems to have a reat sense of humor. That being said… I really hope this dress was a joke.

  4. AM
    0

    Red has always been one of my favorite colors, and it’s sparkly too. Therefore . . .I hate this! Who came up with the idea that this would be a good maternity dress? Not that she has to covered with yards of fabric from head to toe, but yikes!

  5. Hannibal Lecter
    0

    How many centimeters is that mouth? Sorry for future kid, looking at this…spectacle.

    • Heather
      0

      Please don’t make fun of her DNA here. Thanks!

      • H. L.
        0

        Making fun of the expression, not the DNA, too bad I must chide the person who wrote “in real risk of giving birth, like, mid-lyric” for basically restating what you said yourself.

        • momo
          0

          “in real risk of giving birth, like, mid-lyric”
          I read that as if she was implying that Jennifer looked like she was ready to give birth right then and NOT that her mouth was so big.

        • Jessica
          0

          She meant because she’s so very pregnant. I don’t know what her mouth has to do with any of it.

  6. Vandalfan
    0

    Bless her heart.

  7. Heta
    0

    AHHAHAHA! “Rudolph The Red-Nosed Reindeer” — I cannot unsee it!

  8. Pouncer
    0

    What?

    How?

    What?

    I can’t even. She could have Jennifer Aniston’s abs and this would still be terrible.

  9. Kat
    0

    I love love love Jennifer Nettles, but I looked at this and immediately said, “OOOH.” I gasped aloud. It looks like they covered her in the Christmas themed Saran wrap. Holy moly.

  10. Eliza Bennett
    0

    At least she looks super pretty from the neck up. I don’t understand how anyone could possibly think bump-hugging red sparkles were a good idea. Are there WINGS on that dress? Why? Even if she were one of Santa’s reindeer, you’d think she could get maternity leave.

    • charlie09
      0

      I initially misread that as “Satan’s reindeer,” which, now that I think about it, is probably about right…

  11. Lisa
    0

    As we say in the south “bless her heart”. I have a feeling it may have fit better at her last fitting.

    • mary lou bethune
      0

      FUNNY-

      I love her so much and I think she is just so proud and thrilled at having a baby that she lost her reason.. later on she will shriek with laughter with Oprah over this. And never look back. LOVE HER

  12. lilywise
    0

    She looks really pretty except for the Saran wrap. I am in favor of baby bumps and support anyone who wants to dress them up and show them off, but this really looks like she strapped a bowling ball to her abdomen.

    • Esme
      0

      I’m totally NOT in favor. Sure, it’s nothing to be ashamed of, but it is not in the least bit attractive. It’s not as though you must feature the bump front and center to let people know you’re pregnant–it’s frigging obvious. I just don’t get it, and this is what happens when the concept of boasting your baby bump is taken to the farthest extreme!

      • Ladyblahblah
        0

        What you said, Esme. And thank you for saying it. I fear being stoned to death by the Mommy Mafia for anything not adoring of anything pregnancy-related.

  13. Sandra
    0

    She could have looked to Angelina Jolie for inspiration in the maternity formal-wear line, but she chose Mrs. Satan instead. Did Stella McCartney have anything to do with this? It really is terrible.

    • Suzanne
      0

      ^Hhahahaha! about Stella McCartney!^ You may be onto something you know! I’ve no idea who this woman is but she needs a better pregnancy stylist. Preferably one with the gift of sight.

  14. China
    0

    It really seems as though it could have been headed for the same awesomeness as Catherine Zeta Jones’ Oscars maternity gown (http://assets.nydailynews.com/polopoly_fs/1.469606.1314624116!/img/httpImage/alg-preg-zeta-jones-jpg.jpg), but went astray. Maybe if the whole thing were the same darker shade as the sequins? Or if it were sequins all the way down? I feel like it’s so close, but just not…quite…there….

  15. Nancy
    0

    So…..she’s having a boy. This dress has conveniently shown us all that she is carrying the baby out in front – thus, a boy baby. Congrats!!

  16. Chrissy
    0

    That looks so uncomfortable! Why do that to yourself? I don’t believe we have to hide being pregnant, but this is kind of grotesque because it just shows too much detail.

  17. Laucie
    0

    It would only be appropriate to display one’s pregnant abdomen so flamboyantly, if it happened that you were the first woman, ever, ever, to be pregnant, and you wanted to explain the physiological experience to everyone else.

  18. McLisa
    0

    There’s just so much going on here with the slit and the RED and the shimmer and the sequins and the straps and THAT BOW – gah!

  19. Siobhán
    0

    The fabric makes it lok like a fancy gymnastic’s ball.

  20. Esme
    0

    Oh for pete’s sake, that is just . . . I give up.

  21. Jules
    0

    Pregnant or not, Jennifer Nettles, while being very pretty and quite talented, has terrible fashion taste. A few weeks ago she was on the Georgia Music Hall of Fame broadcast and she didn’t look quite as fug, but she was wearing a short dress and she kept doing all of her regular dance moves, which involve a lot of squats. It was, um, not very attractive. I have a four year old, and I carried exactly like this – my mother called me the human bullet, so I understand the difficulties involved with maternity wear, but someone, somewhere, should have helped her.

  22. TonyG
    0

    I was so not thinking Rudolph, but oh my, that description made me crack up!

  23. Vandalfan
    0

    Santa would put her on the list of Naughty Girls.

  24. madness
    0

    I actually love it all from the empire waist up, and the shimmer of the skirt is very festive and pretty. But that bow-thing on the back is useless, and with the light reflecting off her bump and thighs just so, it reminds me of the time Sports Illustrated did that body paint swimsuit issue. bleah

  25. Gesci
    0

    This dress makes her look like an over-ripe pimple…

  26. Brooke
    0

    I just came back to this, and literally gasped, even though I have already seen this atrocity. Somehow in the few hours since I first saw this it became even more horrific. Really. Awfully. Horrible. She deserves better.

  27. amys
    0

    It looks really painful. Sequins don’t provide much stretch, so I imagine she was quite relieved when they cut this red beast off her body. Also way too much red. She’s very lovely despite her evil stylist!

  28. Guerra
    0

    God, I’m about as pregnant as her & I could just not!

  29. Sajorina
    0

    Oh, dear, that’s FUGLY!

  30. Ghanimatrix
    0

    I can’t be the only person to see the Eye of Sauron in that thing, right? No matter where I am it keeps looking at me!

  31. Erin
    0

    I LOVE Nettles, in fact I think she and I would make fast, lifelong besties. That said, she has LONG made questionable fashion choices (Exhibit CCC: Season 1 of Duets). But her incredible sense of humor and sweet as honey Southern accent are more than enough to make me forgive her for any transgressions. Babies!

  32. baidu883
    0

    very good news,your are good boy!
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  33. amy
    0

    To whoever announced that she’s carrying a specific gender due to her proportions, puh-leeze. I carried the exact same way for both of my children, one girl, one boy. Genetics, metabolism and pure luck are factors of pregnancy, not indicators of outcome.

    Congratulations to this woman, but this dress does neither her nor her unborn child any favours, and will be regrettable to be remembered by.

    • Kristin
      0

      One day, a complete stranger told my friend she must be having a girl because “girls take all the prettiness out of your face.” (She had a boy.) So the folklore about how you carry is at least relatively benign, if unreliable as a predictor of gender.

  34. Lily1214
    0

    Umm . . . no comment.