Fugneth Paltrow (with RDJ Sauce)


Once again, Gwyneth whips out something totally interesting and yet TOTALLY DERANGED.

[Photos: Getty]

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Comments (124):

  1. MKKS
    +29

    It’s a fashion inkblot test. In it, I see RAGE.

  2. meggiemoo
    +13

    This.is.hideous.

  3. Mongerel
    +16

    What’s transparent about this is its cynical “gin up some press” -ness.

  4. TLT
    +8

    No. No. and Hell No. Infinity.

  5. Miranda
    +19

    If your coochie has to be wild and free in order to wear a dress, perhaps you should reconsider. Not to mention that this dress is most likely borrowed, which is totally disgusting. That’s like riding the bus in a short skirt without underwear. Also, the dress is ugly.

    I love RDJ, but I will be skipping IM3 because of her. Her career is Classic Nepotism.

    • sarah
      +3

      I’ve lost any desire to see IM3 during this neverending parade of Gwyneth’s fabulousness as well.

  6. Margaret
    +5

    I love the expression of the guy behind her on #3.

  7. Jules
    +41

    I have no words to describe how tacky this dress is and how much I loathe it.

  8. goldfish
    +28

    If you’re named the most hated celebrity in Hollywood, you can feature your butt in a polyester windsock. What do you have left to lose?

  9. mary lou bethune
    +20

    And thank you People magazine for giving her more space. I refuse to look. Awfully smug. awful and smug.

  10. Sandra
    +22

    It burns us preciousssssss!

  11. Erin
    +9

    You’re right – until you mentioned it was sheer, I was like “Wow, that’s cool and different.” I mean, I don’t really like sheer at all, but if only the cape/sleeves were sheer, this would be a whole different conversation. I really like the pop of emerald.

    • Ericajeanine
      +2

      I agree. I actually thought it was cool looking on first glance.

  12. anna s.
    +12

    This dress leaves me with so many questions. Why is the white top and the white skirt made of two different fabrics? In a dress that’s not shy about showing off assets, why does the cumberbund look like it’s slowly melting down her torso? Why is there a very visible seam down the middle of the sheer side-leg panel, when the construction of the dress suggests that it should just be one solid piece of fabric? Was Gwenyth multitasking and testing out GOOP’s upcoming range of organic, boutique designer drugs when she okayed this?

    • filmcricket
      +2

      It’s actually a top and a skirt, which is why the whites don’t match. I have no explanation for the side-seam, though; there is no reason for that.

      • lulubelle
        +4

        That even does not make sense. The top and skirt COULD have been made of the same fabric, hence could have matched. The entire dress is wrong on every possible level.

      • Trina
        0

        The reason is for Goop to show off and get attention and so everyone will say how great her ass is. Grrr.

        • LibraryChick
          0

          Her butt has never been her best feature, though. I know she invested in Tracy Anderson, but this was not the way to advertise for her fitness guru buddy.

  13. Art Eclectic
    +5

    There are elements of a great dress here – get rid of all that horrid sheer stuff, work with that gorgeous teal and white, use the black as trim. As is, the thing is a train wreck and Kim Kardashian will be wearing it next week.

  14. Nancy
    +22

    Yes, the smug sly expression on her face when she is turned around, showing the world her ass – I find it very offensive. The woman is really insufferable. She may be a perfectly nice person, but she completely lacks in self-awareness and comes off as an arrogant know-it-all. And I read somewhere, maybe here, from someone who worked with her and her mother in summer theater in Massachusetts that they were both completely rude and entitled and treated everyone horribly.

    • qwertygirl
      +41

      I totally second this. She’s so self-involved and out of touch. On her website she had suggestions for “showing you care” and one of them was, “Cook a meal for someone you love.” Yeah, I do that every day–it’s called, “making dinner.” Thanks for the advice.

      • Julia
        +9

        ha ha! that is hilarious! I guess when you drink cleanses an inordinate amount of time, actual food = love.

        This dress has moved her to the next level in my mind, that of a WASPY JLo type creature who tells us through her dress and demeanor why she is better than us. For example,

        To All The Little People:
        Reason #682- VISIBLE HIPBONES

      • meggiemoo
        +3

        Hahahaah!!

    • KLeewrite
      +6

      I agree with your assessment about her lack of self-awareness and her smugness. However, I must take issue with your comments about her mother. I was at the summer theater (assuming it’s the same theater and year you’re referring to), though I wasn’t involved with their show, and while I never saw Gwyneth, the few times I saw Blythe, she was perfectly lovely.

      I do wonder, however, what Blythe thinks about her little girl showing her ass to the world.

      • Goldfish
        +4

        She’s got to be used to it by now.

      • qwertygirl
        +2

        My guess is that it’s the Williamstown Theater Festival in Williamstown, MA. My husband grew up there, and both GP and Blythe Danner were in several productions there various years, although he never met them personally. Blythe Danner is also on the Board of Directors.

      • Nancy
        +2

        I admit, I am just repeating gossip from an Internet acquaintance. Tis person was pretty adamant, thou. Maybe she is worse when her daughter Gwynnie is around?

    • Charlotte
      +12

      Huh. I have a friend who met and chatted with her at a pool party in the Hamptons, and who said GP was very sweet but also kind of shy and retiring, in a way in which people who were already inclined to think badly of her might chalk up to rudeness or snobbishness.

      (Friend also reported that GP was wearing a bikini and that her body was indeed as slammin’ as the gossip mags would have you know, so much so that friend briefly considered giving up carbs until she remembered how much she liked bagels.)

      • Sajorina
        +4

        I agree, Charlotte! I think she’s just misunderstood! And I could never give up carbs… I love pasta and bread too much!

  15. Julia
    +6

    I don’t even have words for GOOP’s dress.

    I am curious, though… did RDJ steal those glasses from the set of The Rockford Files?

    • mary lou bethune
      +1

      That is hilarious- Rockford Files.!! I loved that show. RDJ would have been great as Rockford.

      • Helen
        0

        How cool would it be if it were revived, starring him? It’s kind of getting to be trendy, Big Movie Stars doing television…

  16. nobody much
    +3

    wow, this is really ugly.

  17. Willow
    +10

    Is it wrong that I would ADORE this if it weren’t sheer? I find the shape really quite interesting.

    But yeah… She kind of looks like Judy Jetson working as a Geisha of the future.

    • Goldfish
      +6

      Speaking of the Jetsons, why does that breast plate look like an oven mitt?

      •  Corriner
        +4

        THANK YOU!

        I was just coming on here to say it looks like some kind of futuristic samurai getup.

        With unfortunate sheer panels.

  18. amys
    +10

    Hate, hate. Double hate. Loathe entirely. All that money, exercise and carb-hating, and she picks something that looks like THIS? I can’t find anything nice to say other than her hair is really shiny.

  19. Lizzy
    +9

    Wow. No.

    I think RDJ is reserved because he doesn’t want to grasp or twirl her in such a way as to reposition the sheer dress panels. Doesn’t want to be that guy. Better to lavish attention on his wife and just pretend he didn’t see that much Goop.

  20. Montréalaise
    +4

    Just horrible from any angle. Who designed this monstrosity?

    • BrownEyedBetty
      +1

      yes, that’s what I would like to know too.

    • Tracy L
      0

      Dress is hideous. And inappropriate. And I hate this sheer panel trend.
      Only thing i Iike is the concept of the sleeves but that is certainly not enough to save this look. She has the money and body to do so much better.

  21. tigers4us
    +1

    Re Goop: It started out as an interesting concept and then descended into hideosity(?). And I don’t say that because I’m no fan of GOOP…

  22. Fifie
    +12

    “Buttocks windows”. LMAO. The top looks like a chair you can buy at Ikea.

  23. Goldfish
    +3

    I’d actually like to see GOOP swap this out for the gold ballerina ensemble Lena Dunham wore for us yesterday. I would really, really, really like to see that.

    Seriously.

    • Charlotte
      +3

      Ha! I was just thinking the opposite: “You know, if Lena really is committed to just wearing the ugliest things on the planet so we all have something to criticize her for, she could at least wear INTERESTING ugly things like this.”

  24. Ranee Singleton
    +14

    I see her PR machine desperately trying to turn things around for her. The public can’t stand her and her goopiness. She somehow is “named” the world’s most beautiful woman, she decries that title and says she is just a jeans and t-shirt girl with no make-up. But then she turns up in public looking like this, in a dress designed to do nothing but show off her buns. I just can’t with this one anymore. Sorry.

    And that dress is hideous. It should give lessons in hideousness.

    • Sajorina
      +2

      Well, not “the public” as much as “some people with nothing better to do” because I love and admire her!

      • Miss Louise
        +9

        Saj, are you really implying that people who don’t like her “have nothing better to do’? I think, on the contrary, that many of us are prepared to take time out from our busy lives to express how insufferable we find her because that’s exactly what her whole persona invites. If she’s misunderstood, as you suggest, there’s no reason to think she isn’t part of the problem – she projects a level of self-regard that is truly off-putting.

        • Sajorina
          +2

          No! People who find the time to bash Gwyneth online must have nothing better to do! There’s people featured in this site that I find insufferable, but I don’t waste my time commenting on how much I hate them! I have a life, so I just skip those posts!

          • Christine
            +3

            Sajorina – do you ever end a sentence with punctuation besides an exclamation point? No seriously, I’m asking, not being snarky.

          • Miss Louise
            +4

            I think you’re assuming a lot about other people here, Saj. I like your comments, which are usually very upbeat, but other people mocking a self-congratulatory celebrity is hardly evidence of their festering self-loathing or empty lives. A post takes about a minute to write at most, and then we all get on with our lives. I read GFY for a few minutes a day to get a good laugh both from the posts and from the wit of Fug Nation, as relief from a really busy life (though no busier, I’m sure, than most people here). No gaping emotional wounds or self-hatred; just a good laugh at the weird world of fame, guided by the hilarious Jessica and Heather.

            • Jessica
              +6

              Yeeeeeeah, let’s not go there. PLENTY of people with lives and other things to do also find time to get snarky about Gwyneth. And other people.

  25. Amanda In Austin
    +7

    Awwww…. I kinda liked Iron Man 2.

    • esther p.
      +2

      yep, me, too. IM3 is one of the few movies i will actually see in the theater this year, next to Chris Pine and his deliciousness, in the next Star Trek movie. :-)

  26. Karen G
    +5

    His face is so good. Her dress, not.

  27. Abbe
    +2

    Where do I start with GOOP’s buttock windows? (Needs all three words)

  28. Charlotte
    +3

    I don’t understand why any of this is happening, and it makes me confused and scared and angry all at the same time.

  29. gryt
    +3

    That’s one of those things that are not meant to be worn off the runway.

  30. Lindy
    +16

    I can see her GOOP chute.

    • foo
      +3

      Ha! Now I have Frank Zappa’s “Broken Hearts are for Assholes” in my head. Thank you. :)

  31. Caroleena Stantonova
    +3

    Hey Gwenyth! You forgot something…a sense of decorum. I wonder if this is another fash-blunder from STELLLLLLAAAAAAAAAAAA.

  32. JessicaAZ
    +5

    Wow, that dress is really ugly. BUT, love the dress or hate it, love GOOP or hate her, you have to admit she has one SICK body. Just, maybe put it away next time…

  33. Bella
    +5

    Hideous. Desperate. Disappear.

  34. Helen
    +10

    >>…something totally interesting and yet TOTALLY DERANGED.

    Seems like overkill. I mean, Robert Downey, Jr. was already with her!

    And he’s looking pretty spiffy, too.

  35. Lori
    +10

    For crying out loud, if they are going to put sheer panels in a dress (shudder), can’t they at least avoid a seam down the middle?! It’s like they had the idea and then thought, “No, wait, not ugly enough.”

  36. BrownEyedBetty
    +2

    The minute I saw this on another website this morning, I knew it would get royally fugged. Then I figured (generously, I know) that she’s trying to help some poor misguided designer because this is so B.A.D. Not all of it, just parts. The skirt is a beautiful shape and I love the graphic seaming, or whatever. Could do without the butt-cheek windows, yes, but overall, it’s becoming. The top, however, is another story altogether. It’s Jetsonian for sure which is unfortunate but what bugs me most of all of this is the huge open cuffs/sleeves. For what it’s worth, I also think GOOP needs to stay away from severe colors like all black, all white and B&W. With her pale eyes, pale skin and hair it simply washes her out…it’s too busy, too dramatic. She can pull off the softer stuff and in doing so, might soften her image too.

  37. Elizabeth
    +15

    So she’s wearing a…formal-length genital bib? So is this the “grown-up” version of the Groin Napkin Heard Round the World? Raging, flaming, Gollum-grade HATE.

  38. Sonya
    +10

    I HATE that dress and do not need to see the buttocks of a woman who is today trying to teach me “how to break a habit”.

  39. foo
    +6

    It looks like a white dress for a Barbie Doll that someone threw black illusion netting (or leftover pantyhose) on to fit GP.

    I don’t hate her, more of a sometimes amused apathy, but this dress is stupid. It could have been good. It could been a contenda. It coulda been something, instead it showed her bum. It was a one-way ticket to Buttookaville.

  40. Kristen from MA
    +8

    Yeah, you work out. WE GET IT, Gwyneth. Please put it AWAY!

    • Rayna
      +15

      GOOP, let’s make a deal. If we all agree that you have a devastating, worked to the max, toned, carb free body, eat 300x better than the average person (someone estimated that to eat according to her “diet” would cost $300/day) and are normally floating on the feathers of angel wings, will you promise to stop wearing the LOOK AT MEEEEE, I’M NAKED dresses?

      The thanks of a grateful nation, etc.

  41. amys
    +4

    When did she start looking so much like Kelly Ripa??

  42. TonyG
    +3

    I can explain this!

    The white part is a mannequin, or supposed to represent one.

    The sheer part is the idea of the outline of a dress to be completed.

    The dark teal cumberbund-y thing at the waist is where our designer has started coming up with the color of fabric ideas for the dress. S/he has figured out that the cuffs of the arms should be teal also but has no clue about what to do with the rest.

    The designer is like an author with a serious case of writer’s block.

    So, what we have here is a very serious case of designer’s block. Said designer decided to call it a day and put it in the show room, knowing that some star or starlet would buy it anyway.

  43. maggie m
    +5

    I love some of the elements of Gwyneth’s dress–the surprising colors, the unexpected shapes. I can even live with the sheer part on top. The sheer panels on the bottom–well, no. But she looks lovely and happy and comfortable, despite the fact that she’s wearing a very odd dress. I don’t see how that translates to “smug.” I grow weary of the Gwyneth-bashing, to be honest.

  44. Susannah
    +1

    Wow – when you have a damn near perfect body you must have to search high and low to find something truly unflattering. Congratulations GOOP, mission accomplished. Blecch.

  45. SKGD
    +6

    My first thought was that GOOP is pregnant. Why else would someone in such great shape wear something so unflattering??

    My second thought, upon seeing more of the dress (?), was FOR GOD SAKE’S PEOPLE, PUT ON SOME UNDERWEAR!!! Ew ew ew!! And if your outfit does not allow for the wearing of underwear, even a thong, then CHANGE YOUR CLOTHES! Any outfit that you can not wear undergarments of some fashion with should not be worn in public!

    Wow, that was Freudian, I typed pubic at first.

  46. Dazie
    +3

    I kind of like the top. Retro/Carnaby Street/Mary Quant-ish. Pair it with a black pencil skirt and we’re good to go.

    I’m not going to discuss the skirt.

  47. NCY
    +12

    Sheer Desperation.

  48. Mel
    +2

    Someone wondered what Gwyneth’s mom thinks about this “dress” — I would imagine that, even at her young age (9) — daughter, Apple, knows better than to leave the house without proper underpants.

  49. Zed
    +6

    I can’t help thinking it’s a pity that this is getting personal – I don’t think any of us knows her personally and it comes over as a bit unkind.

    Regarding the dress, it would work, I think, if it were not for the sheerness – also that it seems too tight over the hips which is absurd with someone so slender. Bad design, not GP’s fault.

    • deee
      +15

      I would say the whole debacle is GP’s fault because she made to choice to wear the dress.

    • goldfish
      +4

      She has done something to me personally — I shelled out $8.00 for tickets to “Bounce.” Downhill from there.

  50. annmartina
    +13

    Has anyone said that dress is butt ugly yet?

  51. Dazie
    +2

    Wait- is she wearing two different earrings??

  52. Esme
    +1

    I think she’s lost her mind.

  53. esther p.
    +3

    this is one of the fugliest dresses in the history of ever. c’mon, Gwyneth, you can do so much better.

  54. kes
    +6

    So it’s true – the next satge of the horrid sheerness is arses hanging out.
    Hopefully that will be the end of sheer………

    But imagine this flowing down to the masses – fugly arses flopping about everywhere.

    What on earth goes through a person’s mind considering flashing your arse in public?

  55. Nancy
    +2

    I’m just grossed out and even offended. I need a shower.

  56. Jen
    +3

    Regardless of how much crazy she brings when dressing, we cannot deny the girl gives good face.

  57. Sajorina
    +2

    That is 3 dresses in one… They should’ve taken 1 idea and run with it! The sheerness doesn’t bother me because I can’t see any private parts, she’d show much more wearing a bikini! Her hair & makeup look great and I love the earrings!

    Now, I would totally watch “What Would JLo Do?”! And RDJr looks soooooo GOOD! I feel like watching “Soapdish” again!

    • Sajorina
      +3

      It is extremely disappointing to me how many commenters have decided to make this all about how much they loath her and how awful they think she is! Why go there? You don’t now her life! What has she ever done to you? If bashing her online makes you feel better about yourself, there’s something wrong with you! I won’t be reading the comments on any of Gwyneth’s posts anymore! That’s all!

      • Nancy
        +12

        You are bashing people online, also. No, we don’t know her, but she says insufferably arrogant and clueless things about life, money and motherhood. You are saying there is something wrong with people you don’t know. Such irony.

        • Sajorina
          +2

          Oh, sorry, I didn’t know you have a doctorate in psychology! I thought you’d know that people that feel better about themselves by bashing others are nothing more than bullies and that IS wrong!

          • goldfish
            +5

            Are y’all kidding me? It’s Paltrow! All bets are off.

            • Jessica
              +1

              Oh my gosh, can we please take a step back here — I am 100% sure GOOP could not care less about what anyone here says about her. There is no need to get snarky with each other, and, in fact, I find THAT extremely disappointing. You can disagree, but you have to get along.

              Sajorina, I like you very very much, but please don’t get into it with your fellow posters. Everyone else, please move along.

  58. Amanda
    0

    If only the skirt was not sheer… I would’ve fallen in love. I love the top half and love the shape of the bottom.. The whole naked part I don’t so much like. But I must say, she is stunning.

  59. sarah
    +4

    I’m just tired of her. So, so tired. I haven’t had this level of Gwyneth fatigue since 1998.

    Looking at this dress, all I could think was that I bet KStew is sad she didn’t get to it first.

  60.  jay
    +5

    WE GET IT. YOU WORK OUT A LOT. THANKS.

  61. Elle
    +5

    The designer, Antonio Berardi told “Grazia”: ‘Gwyneth manages to bridge the gap of glamour and modernity. She makes things look iconic!’ If by “iconic” he means stupid and trashy, then yeah.

  62.  Vandalfan
    +2

    I think she’s charming. I think her selection of Edgy Clothing is not often successful. This, for example. Frankly, SWINTON herself couldn’t make this one work, not even if it was just one solid color and fabric.

    But would it kill Ms. Paltrow to change her stringy, center parted hairdo? Even when it was parted slightly to the side, like the other day, she’s looked so much better.

  63. Franziska
    +2

    I find this dress and the fact that she didn’t wear underwear now even more hideous after hearing Gwynnie telling the nation (s) on Ellen that her assistant had to scramble for a razor.

  64. kaz
    0

    She is so feral.

  65. kaz
    +3

    but i do love she’s rockin the 80′s bush!

  66. krasno the oysterboy
    +2

    An appalling lack of commitment. Artistically bankrupt and commercially bankrupt. GOOP’s lovely and tasteful frock deserved her undertaking a series of cartwheels into the red carpet area, succeeded by a CrossFit-worthy handstand and alternating leg splits. It would have been captivating, as well as giving momentum to the presumed new series of MILF videos — with safe condom use, of course, if filmed in LA County.

  67. Moolahloolah
    +5

    What a vulgar dress. Sophistry trying to pass off as sophistication.

  68.  swingbird
    0

    Well, I guess my comment about this being one butt-ugly dress won’t be winning any points for originality ;) . I actually don’t dislike the top, specially from the side, where you can’t see how weirdly the cumberbundlike sash falls. Even with her great figure it’s just not flattering. The skirt on the other hand, I find ugly from every angle.

  69. Lily1214
    +1

    Desperate.