Fugging With the Stars

I was at the fashion show where Kelly Osborne first saw this dress — she was sitting in the front row, of course. I was late and somehow ended up behind a pole, which made it easier for me to sit there and text things to Heather like, “I’m behind a pole,” and “the gift bags have condoms and energy water in them.” (True: it was the Jeremy Scott show, which Kelly Cutrone produced, and if you watched Kell on Earth, it won’t surprise you to hear that Cutrone is looking out for our sexual hydration. She bought a vibrator for the receptionist at her gyno’s office in one episode, for pete’s sake. [That show was entertaining.])

How can I tell WHO designed this, you ask? It is, after all, just a little black dress. Because of the back:

I feel like this is actually very helpful and wish more celebrities would display exactly what they’re wearing thusly. It would save me so much time — and prevent squinting-related crows-feet — if, say, Katy Perry would show up places with “Yes, This Is a Romper” BeDazzled across her crotch, or Alicia Keys would pop up wearing an outfit that read, “IT’S A

JUMPSUIT.”  Take it under consideration, Hollywood.
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