Fugging Up With The Blah Blah Blah


I have heard tell that Kim Kardashian is upset about gaining weight while pregnant.

I have CAPSY thoughts about this:

1) YOU’RE PREGNANT. What did you think was going to happen?

2)  WE KNOW YOU’RE PREGNANT. NOBODY THINKS YOU ARE FAT. And besides, anyone who body-shames a pregnant lady can seriously shove it with knobs on. 

3) You are seriously missing out on the ONE TIME in most women’s lives when they don’t have to suck in, and can in fact shove out their stomachs and go, “CHECK OUT THIS AWESOME GIANT BELLY.” It’s really fun. Bump it up! Don’t hide it! Enjoy the freedom.

4) THOSE PANTS ARE NOT FREEDOM.

5 YOUR FETUS DOES NOT WANT TO WEAR HEINOUS GROIN-RUFFLE PANTS. NOBODY DOES. WHY ARE YOU?

6) I can’t believe I’m saying this, but LET KOURTNEY BE YOUR GUIDE.

7) If gaining weight bothers you that much, JUST WEAR SOME EMPIRE-WAIST DRESSES. YOU ARE MAKING EVERYTHING WORSE.

8 ) Repeat that last one over and over, like, a lot, about whatever.

** I may need to clarify that I am not trying to say that pregnant women can’t be thrown off by the changes in their bodies. But there is a difference between that and denial. To me, wearing those pants doesn’t say, “I am feeling awkward about my changing form.” Rather, that garment, to me, is a fingers-in-ears scream of, “LA LA LA NOTHING IS
CHANGING AT ALL.” My point was, don’t let denial get in the way of biological necessity — and also, those trousers are odious. But the former is dipping into armchair psychoanalysis, so I apologize if I overstepped…

[Photo: Fame/Flynet]

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Comments (95):

  1. Tiffany
    +13

    Those pants are the worst thing ever. How did she not notice that the fit in the thigh area is awful and unflattering? Wow, this made my jaw drop it is so bad!

  2. Zulk
    +21

    I just don’t get it. I understand those weird days before you announce your pregnancy and you’re in the bellaband and in between everything but I feel like I CAME ALIVE once I got cute maternity wear. I dressed differently when I was pregnant (jeggings!) than I do now. And I totally miss letting my belly all hang out. She has all the money in the world but it can’t apparently buy her a decent Japanese Weekend wrap dress.

    • Corriner
      +9

      I feel like the more money/attention this family gets, the less capable they are of dressing themselves.

      It’s actually fascinating. Someone should investigate this! I would totally read an article on that.

  3. SugarMagnolia
    +12

    Oh for the love. Kim, honey, those pants would make even the skinniest starlet appear large, so if you’re upset about gaining weight while pregnant (which is dumb, by the way), those pants are a BAD IDEA.

  4. Kat
    +12

    Those trousers wouldn’t look good on the skinniest of people, let alone someone as curvy as Kim. And I bet they cost ridiculous money as well. Money can’t make you look good sadly.

  5. LoriK
    +17

    For the love of all that is holy, why do those pants even exist? Kim is, AFAICT, sort of an idiot, but she’s not entirely to blame for this. Someone thought those things up and a bunch of other people cooperated in producing them and making them available for Kim to buy (or receive, as the case may be). Who are those people, WTF is wrong with them and what needs to happen to prevent them from working in fashion in any capacity in the future?

  6. Charli FLL
    +9

    She doesn’t help Kanye much in his quest for genuine fashwan credentials…

  7. Jamie
    +5
  8. H.C.
    +3

    yeah, the too-tight pants are ironically making her look more gianormous than she is. I feel sorry for that button & hole hanging for dear life!

    • karacocoa
      +14

      One good sneeze and that button is going to pop off and take someone’s eye out.

  9. Lisa
    +4

    She is genuinely INSANE. Why would you ever wear those pants? She looks so uncomfortable, that poor child has no chance.

  10. H.C.
    +7

    and when you already have natural hips, you don’t need anything ruffly in that area to further accentuate them.

  11. Erin B
    +2

    Eau de Oompa Loompa.

    That being said, her hair looks amazing.

  12. Gigi
    +10

    This makes me fear the kooky getups that poor child will have to endure. At least Posh Spice’s High Fugshion craziness gets translated all cute and adorable on little Harper Seven. I don’t think the same will be true for Baby Kimye.

  13. Donna
    +6

    I read elsewhere that she is into wearing maternity Spanx. Who knew there was such a thing? I get the need for a supportive undergarment (I used one for jogging when I was pregnant), but isn’t the point of Spanx to squish and flatten and deny bumps? That just sounds uncomfortable and mean for a pregnant lady.

    • Ladyblahblah
      +2

      I was laughingly theorizing that she was wearing Maternity Spanx without imagining that such a torture device actually existed. The thing with Spanx is that the lumps you’re squishing have to end up somewhere, so if 95% of the industrialied world knows that you’re pregnant, why would you want the belly bump that everyone is expecting pushed to your damn hips?!?

      • FishFryFridays
        +2

        My thoughts too, re: the maternity spanx until I bought them and oh good goodness were they a welcome relief as they not only helped support the belly (wasn’t tight or anything) but they also reduced the chaffing that happens when there is so much going on down there.

  14. Squirrel!
    +6

    “Can seriously shove it with knobs on” — hahahahahaha!

  15. MissTee
    +17

    Further proof (like we needed any) that money cannot buy taste or common sense.

  16. Sarah
    +1

    How do pants like that even come into existence? Somewhere along the line someone had to have realised that they are a horrible idea.

  17. amys
    +3

    Is that print anaconda? Ocelot? Humans, Kim K. in particular, were not meant to wear this pattern.

    • MollyD
      0

      I’m thinking drapes or a love seat. It would be interesting as a comforter or wall paper. This is lovely if it is on something that isn’t living.

  18. Amanda
    +10

    These pants are the worst pants of all time. WHO MADE THEM AND CAN WE ORDER A POX ON THEIR HOUSE????

  19. MissTee
    +6

    Maybe she wore the pants to distract us fromlooking at the shirt that is pulling so tight across her boobs that we can see through it…

  20. Callie
    +35

    If she’s that worried about the way she looks while pregnant, she could totally stay out of the public eye for a few months, no?

    No.

  21. Jules
    +25

    I read an article this week (don’t ask me why) in which she states that she has to wear tight clothes even while pregnant because her large chest makes her look unflattering in loose clothes. I think she has a different definition of “flattering” than the rest of us.

    • Lizzy
      +6

      Doesn’t she get that maternity clothes can be fun, and one’s full belly can be quite cute and charming? Pregnancy is not the time to be concerned with looking “hot”.

    • Edith
      +21

      A large chest means you should never ever wear turtlenecks, though, especially not those that are semitransparent. You have to balance the chest with at least a boatneck. Those pants HURT to look at, too.

      Also, she “has to” wear tight clothes or else she looks unattractive? She is too old to still believe the “tight is always prettier” bs, for goodness sake. Big boobs mean you can’t dress like Twiggy or Audrey Hepburn, but it doesn’t mean Whitesnake Video is your best bet… AAAAAND that was a whole lot of really old references, but you know what I mean, right?

    • Sally
      +10

      I have a large chest and it took me a while to realize that if I wear drape-y loose Eileen Fisher type clothes, I will NOT look like an Eileen Fisher type model (even if they are “real” women.) I generally look like I am trying to smuggle the Harlem Globetrotters under said top or dress. However, when pregnant, you can still wear something fitted in the chest area and loose elsewhere. This outfir is just wrong on so many levels.

  22. Sara
    +6

    These pants make my soul sore.

  23. Lizzy
    +9

    I fear that her little baby will be equally, inappropriately attired, such as a black leopard print onesie & studded leather jacket at age 3 mos.

  24. Bella
    0

    So much to say, so little time. So I’ll just say, PLEASE, KIM, THINK OF THE BABY!!!!

    Also, look at the color of her face compared to her hands. Almost looks like she is wearing gloves.

  25. Crystal
    +3

    What Would (Duchess) Catherine Wear?

  26. val.
    +9

    A woman of her proportions– pregnant or not– should never wear a tight turtleneck! The pants are also terrible. Funny, I don’t see a pregnancy belly here, but this outfit is doing the rest of her no favors.

  27. Crystal
    +1

    Praise Heather for the real intention of this post! Follow steps 1 through 8 and repeat.

  28. Chris P
    +6

    Jesus Christ, the first line did NOT prepare me for the scroll-down. Those are actually more heinous than the Hudgernaut’s lace pants from last year’s Fug Madness. I never thought I’d see a pair of pants less flattering and more diabolical, but leave it to a Kardashian to find them.

    Speaking of which: Seriously, Kim, are you trying to win your own Fug Madness berth without a play-in? Because NEVER EVER GONNA HAPPEN.

  29. Wednesday
    +9

    I physically recoiled from the screen when I saw this. Oh, honey, no. The pants are awful, but that turtleneck isn’t doing her any favors, either. She looks like a teal-and-brocade sausage.

    The funny thing is, looking at the material of the pants again, I think the pants would be quite cute if they were a pencil skirt with that peplum flounce and the button. A properly fitting pencil skirt, I mean. Yeah, if it were a pencil skirt and scoop-necked top, this wouldn’t be half as dreadful.

  30. Ellelake
    +1

    some women work up to the date – not for me, but some people can; and Beyonce’s Life is But a Dream showed her working, getting into costumes, etc. until the MTV Awards around the 6th month or so. Now I don’t watch any K shows, and I think the way she dresses is unconventional and caricature-y, but the woman is a phenom. Her motto must be: Strike while the iron is hot! She works hard, her drive and ambition are monumental. This should be interesting. I truly hope all goes well for her and Kanye, but one wonders if she’s giving herself enough time for herself. Anyway, body-shaming a pregnant woman? Have we come to that?

    • Ranee Singleton
      +20

      She would have worn this pregnant or not, and the outfit would still be just as hideous.

    • Fletcher
      +5

      Yes one has to credit her because all that drive and ambition have made her a successful person. But it also made her a very public figure, and an opportunist if there ever was one. She walked out her door into the public sphere, and this is what she gave us. I don’t believe anyone is body-shaming her more than she did herself.

    • Aphy
      +7

      Clothes shaming, not body shaming.

  31. Beth
    +5

    I was one of those women who gained a looot of weight during my pregnancies and had to hear “Are you sure you’re not having twins?” from ‘well meaning’ coworkers (aka jerks). It didn’t help that I had a coworker who was due around the same time as me who pretty much kept herself pretty slender throughout the pregnancy. What I’m saying is, I feel for Kim, I do (and I never thought I’d say that).

    • JillSpill
      +3

      I was the same. I still remember the smartass comments when I went to a friend’s baby shower and I was bigger than her even though she was due sooner. I am still thinking of the comebacks I should have said!

      • Guerra
        +1

        Same!! I got the “are you sure it’s not twins” so many times I wanted to punch them in the face! Worse was I was tiny before so ppl were especially surprised!!

        • anonymoose
          +3

          Sending sympathies to you 3 for the mean, judgy, and totally insensitive things people said to you during your pregnancies. Why would anyone share such useless and unkind thoughts with anyone? Cannot fathom what motivates that sort of remark.

    • Jen from cincy
      0

      I feel for her, too. I gained so much with my first pregnancy and got those kinds of comments. Even my shoes didn’t fit! It took a lot of time and hard work to get the extra weight off , but I eventually got there. Pregnancy is the only time you can really let go a little and be proud of your bigger shape. I do wish pregnant ladies didn’t beat themselves up over it! She should enjoy this time, it doesn’t last forever. That said, Kim K is just at the beginning of all this. She has months to figure it out and learn to dress her changing figure. Let’s hope she does!

  32. Rayna
    +6

    Pants – WHAT???

    Say it isn’t so.

  33. Minda
    +13

    It’s not just this outfit, it’s All The Outfits she has been out in lately, they are all awful, and trying too hard, and unflattering. I don’t even like this woman or her family, but I see a new picture of total awful every day and, pregnant or not, I wonder why the hell she keeps doing this to herself! Why do people let her out looking like this? It’s baffling, really.

  34. Vandalfan
    +11

    Oh, Neanderdashian, not everything has to be skin tight, all the time. For example, the turtle-neck you’re sporting is not really see-through; your bra is visible because those poor threads are straining nigh unto their breaking point.

  35. ginny
    +7

    Peplum jeans…they couldn;t possibly look good on anyone, but if it were possible, it would be a very tall very thin very flat all over woman. That woman is not KK.

  36. Steph
    +5

    I’ve never been pregnant, so please correct me if I’m wrong- but isn’t wearing pants (or anything around the midsection) that tight BAD for you during pregnancy? It’s like she’s actually trying NOT to grow a belly.

    I weep for the future of this child.

    • Sarah
      +2

      Nah, she’s barely pregnant at this point. Wearing tight clothing can be problematic when pregnant, but not because you’re smooshing the baby or anything, it’s mostly because you can cut off circulation and give yourself heartburn.

  37. Sandra
    +12

    No one could look good in those pants. I don’t believe that they make her feel good, physically or emotionally, either. They must be burned and the ashes buried at a crossroads on the midnight of the full moon.

  38. Ladyblahblah
    +16

    This is a time when Kim K could really use a professional agent/manager instead of Mama Rose. She has the perfect opportunity to become more likeable, which could expand her brand (which, as far as I can tell, is all that she is). Instead, she seems to be approaching pregnancy as some sort of modernized Mae West character. Someone needs to tell her that it’s OK not to be a living, breathing sexual innuendo 24 x 7, especially while pregnant.

  39. Fletcher
    +3

    Love the comments! Agree with all.
    Those pants were a BIG mistake.
    Somehow I have the feeling that she’s in maternity clothes denial and would rather adapt items rather than try to be both comfortable and elegant. Did I just write elegant? Ooops.

  40. Mina
    +2

    What is happening? Why doesn’t someone make her stop and think about her choices in pants? Her choices in shirts? It’s so painful to look at her clothing sometimes (all the times).

  41. MegoPachego
    0

    C’mon you guys … She’s just working her way toward the sex reveal of her baby by means of pants peplum. Perhaps there’s a young Kanyette encased in army-toned ocelot somewhere in there and this simply serves as a sartorial preview for said spawn.

  42. Joemama
    +5

    I may buy her a wrap dress and send it to her even though I am poor and she is unbefrickinlievably rich. Just because someone needs to guide this lost fashion soul.

  43. Seriously.
    +2

    PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD MAKE THE MIRACLE WHIP ADS STOP.

    Also, I always opt for expanding out front (let that belly free) as opposed to sideways. It’s okay, Kim, you’re human after all.

  44. Emma
    +7

    It’s obviously designed to keep her afloat should she fall into a pond.

  45. PocoRabbit
    +9

    She just looks so miserable. I know it’s a weird experience (sometimes I can’t get over the feeling of being an Alien-style HOST and I am really happy to be pregnant) but wearing awful ugly clothes isn’t going to make you feel better. I am a similar shape (5ft, 34G and a UK size 14/US10) and a bit more pregnant than her and oy vey, I cannot even wear PJ BOTTOMS anymore because waistbands are so uncomfy on the bump. Lord knows how she’s feeling, um, gynaecologically. I’m sure it’s not helping her enjoy her pregnancy.

    Even her usual bodycon dresses would look nice with a bump, so why all these ridiculous trousers all of a sudden? Trousers are generally not the pear shaped gal’s friend – and these are EVERYONE’s enemy.

  46. WalkerSister
    +2

    The horror!

  47. Leslie
    +12

    I think Kim Kardashian’s pregnancy is a gift from the comedy Gods. I hope she continues to wear such crazy clothes…

  48. anonymoose
    +5

    Seeking clarification regarding GFY’s #2, above: Are the intentional unnatural alterations Kim has had done to her face, lips, and rear end also exempt from our ridicule here, whether or not she is with child?

    I agree with drawing the line at not shaming natural features which the person had no say in garnering, but when someone obviously goes to great lengths to alter his/her physicality out of sheer willful vanity, and flaunts it ad nauseum, I consider the results to be fair fodder for commentary, as much as choice of attire is.

    What say the GFY Tribunal?

    • Jen from cincy
      +2

      I say stick to the clothes, but that’s just me…

      • Helen
        +2

        I consider plastic surgery fair game, but only if and when we’re very, very sure that’s what it is.

    • kickassmomnyc
      +1

      Vanity plastic surgery is fair game to me, with compassionate exceptions.

      • Helen
        +1

        Yeah, like if it’s gone horribly wrong, and the person is a complete emotional train-wreck, you don’t want to rag on them for it ’cause you just feel sorry for them.

  49. Jimminy
    +3

    Oh my god, the baby got lost in her ass.

  50. Eirwen
    0

    Oh Kimmy, WHY?

  51. Kelly
    +5

    A) If someone questions your feminist stance(s) based solely on that post, then they obviously haven’t been tuned-in to your daily log. You two are wonderful ambassadors for women, and those who have hung out through the years know and appreciate that. B) You were right the first time, that outfit is terrible. For someone who flaunts her curves, she is awfully sheepish about her baby belly.

  52. Trillian
    +1

    I have never seen her wear a single flattering garment but this just about takes the cake. Does she not own a mirror? Or have any friends who tell her not to leave the house like that? Oh and on the matter of body-shaming … of course a pregnancy will change your body, but it’s no excuse to turn into a beached whale either.

  53. Dani
    0

    I have hips like hers – I don’t have boobs like hers, which makes dressing myself in a flattering way a little easier – but she has a few years on me and I’ve learnt how to dress for my shape why can’t she? Pencil skirts or flared dresses that are cinched tightly at the waist. Preferably the latter. And she should never wear a turtleneck.

  54. MollyD
    +1

    Capsy thoughts. Epic.

    Have I told you how much I love you guys?

  55. Lily1214
    0

    It’s SO difficult to look good when you’re pregnant.

  56. Ann
    +1

    Those are seriously the ugliest pants I’ve ever seen.

    The fabric, the cut, the color(s). They look like what clowns might wear to funerals.

  57. ScienceGeek
    +2

    I’m due in July, like Kate and Kim (and is it bad that I’m fine with my bub sharing a birthdate with a royal, but reeeallly hoping I don’t eject mine the same day as a Kardashian?). And forcing myself not to compare bump sizes. Because I’ll lose. By a lot.
    Anyhoo, I have to admit, I’ve never given much of a toss about the size of my waistline before, but now that it’s gone, I’m discovering just how much I dressed to suit it.
    So I’m running out of clothes, and maternity pants are either hideous or uncomfortable or keep wandering down my arse like they’ve got something better to do than keep me from flashing innocent bystanders (newsflash pants: there is NOTHING better for you to do). Clotheswise, I am flailing, people (Okay, I’m flailing like a muppet over everything, but I’ll stick with the clothes for the moment).
    My point is, despite my reluctance to share our kid’s birthday, I feel for the woman. Perhaps this outfit is the result of the awful discovery that the only thing in her wardrobe that still fit and wasn’t covered in food stains was the world’s most hideous pants. Not that I’ve been there lately. Nope, not at all.

  58. una
    0

    hahahahahahahahah, ok wait, hahahahahah
    Ok, I feel better.
    Forget the outfit.
    Does botox affect your unborn child?
    Just wondering………….

  59. una
    0

    Oh one more thing.
    What do you all expect? She is a clown, she might as well dress like one!

  60. Emily
    0

    totally agree – i have a feeling kim is going to have a hard time getting through this pregnancy with her self-esteem and body image intact. we all (pregnant ladies) go through it, but she might have an especially tough time given her (kind of crazy) line of work. come on kim – just embrace it! maybe khloe can talk some sense into her.

    i also enjoyed jezebel’s take on the situation: http://jezebel.com/5987108/kim-kardashian-simply-cannot-dress-for-that-awkward-stage-of-early-pregnancy/gallery/1

  61. annmartina
    0

    When she throws these pants away I hope she also throws away her peanut butter lipstick