Fugging For Keeps


I watched a clip of her wearing this on GMA and you can’t even tell THE HORROR THAT LIES BENEATH. I don’t know how anyone at GMA kept a straight face listening to her yap about her movie while wearing a formal set of long johns.

[Photos: Splash]

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Comments (42):

  1. Sandra

    This whole thing is made of NO.
    Starting at the top: Urrrgh, the bangs. They’re almost all you can see, except that maniacal baring of the the teeth in Slide 2. Mind your jugulars, folks.

    Next: The overcoat gets a pass because it’s the least weird thing she’s wearing.

    Then: The…..things….on her legs. Tights are still not pants, kiddo, no matter what Timberlake tells you.

    Also: The beige hooves. Mrs. Satan would like her shoes returned in time for the holiday party season.

    In the plus column: I love the color of the satchel she is carrying. And that’s about it.

  2. AtlAng

    The girl is hot, with an equally hot husband, but she has NO fashion sense at all. What a waste! And can we please move on from those ridiculous bangs?

  3. Lynne

    It’s a horror. Agreed.

    I really want that bag, though. Even though I’m sure it costs more than my rent.

  4. Stefanie

    I have a theory: If Justin really is picking out her clothes then I’m convinced he actually really hates her and wants to make her look as insane as possible. Clearly, he married her because she is blackmailing him with pictures of him and the entire NSync group getting freaky in the shower.

    • Megan

      I agree with your theory, except I don’t think he hates her so much as he doesn’t want her to outshine him in any way. You can’t really upstage JT if you’re dressed up in those clothes, right?

  5. Elizabeth

    I think Fug Nation should set up a non-profit rehab facility dedicated to the “Tights are Not Pants” cause. Too many eyes have become collateral damage in the war against this noble struggle. Too many people have swooned on chaise lounges in their angst of such horrors. It must stop. Think of the reupholstery costs alone from excessive fainting.

  6. Sophie

    Formal longjohns – splendid phrase.

    At least, in her defence, she probably really DID get dressed in the dark …….

  7. Melissa

    God that outfit is hideous. But those bangs are the worst thing going.

  8. Cristina

    I used to have tights like that … except with feet. And I wore them under skirts.

  9. maryse

    those look like the tights that i’m currently wearing UNDER A SKIRT.

  10. Lizzy

    Looks like an honorary Olsen twin with all that witch black head-to-toe coverage.

  11. Megan

    I thought her loving husband had the final say on all her outfits! Where was he on this one? Huh!?!?

  12. maxameliana

    in the immortal words of Martha from The Secret Garden: “Canna’ tha’ dress thyself?”

  13. Big Noise

    Just — no. That hair reminds me of Janice in the original Muppet movie — the girl singer in the rock band who wanted to serve “organically grown refreshments,” IIRC — except that Janice had blonde hair. Speaking of which….does anyone else think that Janice reminded them of Mary Travers (of Peter, Paul and Mary)?

    • Mrs. Ditter

      ALWAYS thought Janice the Muppet was modeled on Mary Travers. Thanks for the lovely reminder!

  14. PeggyO

    OMG, the badness. It burns. And did she do something to her lips? Her smile looks a little frozen and rictus-like. Or maybe that’s just the grin of acknowledgement that she knows she looks like crap.

  15. amys

    I hate to be indelicate, but in slide #3, is she sporting a vaginal zipper?

    • Helen

      I think the zipper is part of what appears to be a matching shirt, separate from the tights. It is, however, unfortunately placed, with its end right over her mons. So, kind of yes.

      • Vandalfan

        Not “kind of”. Her zipper IS a wiener. Period.

        Yet, it’s the bangs and puffed lips that really catch my attention.

        • amys

          I can’t look directly at her bangs or mouth so apparently, I find other trouble(d) spots.

  16. Bluebonnets on it

    Anytime I see someone wearing something this bat crazy in public, I am reminded of the “puffy shirt” episode. But I don’t wanna be a pirate!

  17. Helen

    We may have to just accept that she IS crazy, and her general appearance follows, and it will never get any better.

    I think the open-crotch coat is awful, too. And that “open-crotch coat” is not a string of words I should have any reason to type.

  18. fritanga

    If Justin truly does dress her, Justin truly does hate her.

    I wish I could get a look at their prenup. It must be a ponderous prenup indeed.

    • Leah

      He may actually think this looks fabulous. He did wear a denim suit once.

  19. house mouse

    Why is she wearing nude pumps with an entirely black, pants-based outfit? It’s not like they’re doing anything to elongate her leg or whatever it is starlets think those shoes are doing for them.

    I mean, I know the rest is awful but I can’t even with that right now, so let’s just focus on the shoes.

  20. lindsay

    what is with the spiky little projections on the end?

    this is just a crazy sundae with extra crazy sauce and a crazy cherry on top. oy.

    • cebec

      YES! The bottom of her legs seem purposefully being made to look like the top of castle turrets… too weird.

  21. witjunkie

    Ha – before I scrolled down, I thought she was in a smock getting her hair done.

  22. TonyG

    Dreadful! I sooooo want to see a head-to-toe picture of this outfit without the coat. Couldn’t find it online though. :(

  23. tigers4us

    OMG. LOL, OMG!

  24. tigers4us

    The Daily Mail refers to this as a “festive knitted pantsuit”.

  25. Sajorina

    Ummmmm………. Yeah, that’s BAD!

  26. joan E Byrne

    Actually. . .the jacket part is interesting. It looks like part of a flea market find when some old guy dies and his widow gives away his clothes

  27. Nadine

    You know how some people have no concept of time? Well, she checked the weather (chilly) at ETA, but didn’t factor in time’s p-a-s-s-i-n-g. Therefore, she must’ve not thought anyone would see her in her long underwear? No, it still doesn’t make sense & she just makes me mad, don’t know why I’m trying to make excuses for her!

  28. Regina

    Are Spanx redefining sexy now? Or did she wear them so others would know it was an outfit and not, as mentioned, pajamas?