Have you ever wanted to hang out with us, Karl Lagerfeld, and some cocktails? Well… actually, we can’t help you with that entirely (Karl’s not returning our calls), but if you live in or near Los Angeles, we can offer up a close substitute: On Tuesday, August 30, we are co-hosting a pre-party in honor of Karl’s new Macy’s capsule collection at the Beverly Center store. The collection doesn’t go on sale until the following day, so not only will you get the very first up-close-and-personal look at the clothes, you can also try them and buy them before anyone else, which is always fun if you enjoy gloating (and really, who doesn’t?). Here’s a sneak peek at one of the looks:

It goes without saying that we’d like any of you who try this on to come out of the dressing room and pose similarly. You can see more of the clothes here, too. The new collection, including the above look, is priced between $50-$170 (on average).

And in addition to all the cute clothes, there will be drinks, a DJ, models, a contest to win a free head-to-toe Lagerfeld look, a free garment bag with your $75 purchase of Lagerfeld merch, and — we hope — a bunch of fun gossip with our smart, cool, funny readers. We would love to see you guys out there, have a chat, and get a chance to raise a glass with/to Fug Nation while we ogle the Kaiser’s latest offerings, so please, read on for the details. And if you weren’t able to make any of our local Spoiled events but you’d like your copy personalized, by all means, please bring it along. We like signing things. One girl in Menlo Park had us sign a Kindle receipt, and another lady in San Francisco brought a photo of J.Lo. Seriously. And seriously fantastic. (And if you don’t know what the hell we’re talking about with this so-called Spoiled, here is a primer on our first novel. It would make a great beach read as we head into August, and/or an escapist read to keep you from fuming about the fact that you are sweltering Stateside and not not on a breezy yacht in St. Tropez, and/or a perfect choice if you are in fact on a yacht in St. Tropez and none of your pals will play Words With Friends with you because they’re so jealous.)

The event begins at 6:30 p.m. on Tuesday, August 30, in the Impulse department on the second floor of Macy’s. The Beverly Center, if you’re not familiar with L.A.,. is located on La Cienega between Beverly and Third. There is ample parking, so don’t worry about that.

I kind of wish Karl would arrive by surprise helicopter, walk up and place my hands on his shoulders, and say, “Parody is for clearance shoppers. SPEND.” But cocktails and shopping sound pretty good, too.

Let us know, as always, if you have any questions. Otherwise, please come on over to Macy’s on the 30th and hang out with us and the spirit of the Kaiser.