Fuggelina Jolie


Right now the one celebrity I most dread leaving her house is Angelina Jolie. Because I know she’s too famous to ignore, and people will be curious about what she’s wearing, but nine times out of ten lately I have nothing to say about her clothes.

I mean, this happened. It’s black. It’s fine. It’s there. It exists. It is made of atoms. Jessica Simpson would wear it, if the skirt were short. The necklace is great, the hair is limp. She’s just so exhausting for a blogger. What new angle is there on her? Most of the time it’s like she’s not even trying, and worse, she’s aggressively not trying. And we complain constantly about the celebs for whom the effort sits on their brow like a visible film of sweat, an unseemly exertion, but Angie is the opposite: She absolutely wants you to know that she doesn’t really care, because she is Angelina Jolie, and she figures you will love her or obsess over her or chase her down the red carpet (sorry, Seacrest, but you will never live that down) no matter what, so screw it, let’s just throw on some billowy this and some plain-old that and maybe run a comb through the ol’ hair, assuming that scamp Pax has not jammed it into an air vent somewhere.

And she’s probably right, we do all still care, and she knows it, and the more we care the less she wants us to think she cares. Because she’s that girl in high school who thinks visible caring is uncool, and ends up wasting herself on a C-minus average just because she believes doing homework and actually studying to earn good grades looks so needy. I actually suspect she keeps things boring when she’s there in service of Brad, rather than out on her own (see: the Salt and The Tourist outfits), and I suppose that’s an act of benevolence on the surface, but to me it’s dysfunctional. Like, “Oh, honey, no one will notice you if I go all-out, so I’ll just play it quiet.” Girl. We notice. You know it.

I also enjoy how she seems to try and create this rapport with the camera that says, “That Bradley, he is just incorrigible, with his hockey player haircut. You see it. I see it. We are as one.” But the worst part THERE is that he is not creating interest here EITHER because it’s not even as bad as he’s ever looked. I actually saw this and went, “Oh, now nice, Brad is handsome again.” This is what has become of him: such greasy lows that we look at this coif and think, “What a wonderful improvement.”

See? I mean, here, I’m not even sure he showered. And there is Angie. It’s red. It’s fine. It’s there. It exists. It is made of atoms. Jessica Simpson probably would not wear it, true, and the hair is better. And at least it’s shapely, sort of. She is wearing her standard expression of smug serenity and benign disinterest, and all I can think to talk about is whether Brad’s pants fit. Zzzz. If Moneyball gets nominated, I hope for something braver than caftans and blouses and spaghetti straps. It’s the least she could do. The real act of kindness here, anyway, is to draw attention away from whatever Brad will be doing to his head at that time. So DO IT, Angie. Wake us up.

[Photos: Getty]

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Comments (144):

  1. pidget
    0

    With that face as an accessory, does shes really need interesting clothes?

    • S.
      0

      My point exactly.

    • Miranda
      0

      Yeah, sometimes. Face/bod are carrying her in the red, not really the black. It’s her insistence on shapelessness that gets me more than anything.

      • Ola
        0

        Um… the shapelessness is her BODY…. nothing to be done for it, except when her clothes include pads, corsets, wires and whatnot!

        Same as her hair… its usually a weave these days, too string.

        The face you fall back on? Have you seen her without Photoshop?!

    • Lindy
      0

      Yes. There are many, many people in this world who do NOT find this woman anywhere close to beautiful.

      Charlize Theron is beautiful, Eva Mendes is beautiful. AJ…not so much.

  2. cpro
    0

    I think she is lovely and has more on her mind than impressing photogs and bloggers with her clothes. She is promoting awareness of the plight of the Bosnians and the movie she made about them, not herself. She cares about helping people, seems classy and admirable to me.

    • Annie E
      0

      I think one can raise awareness and wear interesting clothes at the same time without wasting brainpower. I also think that it can help your cause to put effort into what you wear – people will indeed pay more attention.

      • cruzilla
        0

        Annie, I think that applies in work/business situations, but not on the red carpet. I don’t see that red dress and think better of Angelina and the work for the UN that she has done. I think her dressing modestly actually gives her more stock than if she were constantly showing us her privates in public. As much as I enjoy this site, I honestly don’t think a celebrity owes it to the public or anyone to dress a certain way.

      • Kit
        0

        Also, I call shennanigans with all that “more important things to think about” horsepucky. If I were asked to mention A-list celebrities who really care about their brand, I believe I’d put Angelina first, actually. That whole “I care about important things so I don’t care about my clothes” is total crap. When she’s hawking something, or asked to wear/carry something she wears it front and center. When she isn’t – that’s when she doesn’t do any “free” advertising.

    • Berglind
      0

      Exacly. She has more important stuff to worry about than what some blogger thinks of her hair. I usually LOVE your blogging, but now you just sound petty and jealous.

      • katya
        0

        I completely agree,this post made me very sad :(

      • Heather
        0

        I’m sorry you feel that way. And i will never understand the “just jealous” criticism, as if anything on this site ever reeks of jealousy (except when we say, “Man, I am jealous of those shoes.” I couldn’t disagree with THAT sentiment more — personally I think it’s pretty clear we’re not jealous of celebrities in the slightest, esp since we have never tried to go out and BE celebrities and we have never used this blog to try and make ourselves into them.

        What I was trying to say is, when you look at photos of someone day in and day out, and your job is to cover them in some way, sometimes it gets frustrating for various reasons. I find HER interesting; I find her clothes boring, and the facial expressions very curious, and the latter two are the rub.

      • Emma
        0

        I don’t totally understand why we’re supposed to think so highly of this obscenely wealthy actress just because she’s involved in humanitarianism. She’s the 1%, people! And the whole point of this website is to critique and enjoy the essentially superficial sartorial choices of the very wealthy minority. Angelina Jolie shouldn’t be exempt just because she wants us to see her as earnest, serious and a very public doer of good.

        However, I actually love the red dress.

      • corleone
        0

        worrying about more important things like posing for a Louis Vuitton add in order to raise awareness about the horrible plight of people who cannot afford his over the top expensive handbags. Thanks Angie, I cry every night because I cannot even afford a key fob from Vuitton. SHEESH

  3. Victoria
    0

    Recently I really liked her in a white pantsuit – she’s one of very few people who can do a white pantsuit and look totally gorgeous.

    • Sonya
      0

      She does pull of the white pantsuit, or any pantsuit, REALLY well. She always looks lovely and put together.

  4. Stefanie
    0

    THANK YOU! Heather, you NAILED my feelings on both of them! I would so buy you a cupcake for finally putting my feelings into level headed words.

  5. Sonya
    0

    I always forget that she is a mere 6 years older than me, because she dresses so much older. I mean, yes, I just entered my 30s and I don’t run around looking like a hussy or anything, far from it. But, she dresses like a very classy 50 year old woman.

  6. Jen
    0

    At least she doesn’t look quite as skeletal as she has been in the past. That’s a major improvement all on its own.

    • Carolyn
      0

      Check out the photos of her in the white pantsuit.
      She is still scary thin.

  7. Joni Woodhead
    0

    i actually kind of love his longer hair now that its past the awkward in between phase ( when its washed of course ) .. i wonder if he is planning to go full on Legends of the Fall with it? Ive never liked my men to have hair the same length as me, unless they are Brad Pitt in that movie.

    • Miranda
      0

      Yes! In that top photo where it’s been lovingly blow-dried, it looks quite nice.

      • Lindsay Cherry
        0

        “where it’s been lovingly blow-dried”
        Oh Miranda, thanks for that. I can’t even look at that photo now without giggling and dribbling my coffee into my lap.

      • corriner
        0

        “Ive never liked my men to have hair the same length as me, unless they are Brad Pitt in that movie.”
        Thank you for this Joni, thank you!

        Angelina has addressed the ‘wardrobe is boring, boring and black’ issue in past interviews, saying that she basically just finds basic black peices the most functional. And coming from her ‘dark, bad-girl’ past, I’m inclined to beleive her. IMHO I’m glad to hear she wears whatever the heck she wants in her day-to-day, but I definitely agree some effort on the red carpet is warranted; its part of being a celebrity!

        I still think the best she ever looked was when she wore that flowy green gown at Cannes when she was pregnant with her twins. COLOUR! :)

        Also, Heather + Jessica, you ladies rock, and I LOVE this site because its NEVER mean-hearted or personal-attack-ish! Brava!

  8. Kitty JJ
    0

    What is it with Brad Pitt and beautiful women wearing boring clothes? Dude is some kind of crazy wardrobe controller. :/

    • LibraryChick
      0

      I don’t know… didn’t Juliette Lewis have the interesting cornrows plus a 1920s flapper dress on the red carpet while dating him?

  9. Sajorina
    0

    I don’t know what the fuss is all about! They both look fine! I love Angelina’s understated elegance and most of what I see her wearing, I would wear myself! People, she’s super busy as a “wife”, mother of six, actress, producer, director, Goodwill Ambassador, etc… and she still manages to look this good and always presentable, so GOOD FOR HER!!!
    I’m giving her a FAB just for existing!

  10. vandalfan
    0

    She is just too cool for school. I hate kids like that. She seems to believe that her stunning beauty would be dimmed if she wore, say, something interesting, and is banking on her youth. That, alas, fades, and I think her youth is nearing the expiration date.

  11. Christian
    0

    LOL @ “Written and Directed by Angelina Jolie” displayed so prominently under the film’s title. C’mon, even “W.E.” doesn’t boast that hard. As for her dress – enough with the black already! Would it kill her to don even a deep purple or blue? As for Brad, ugh, don’t even get me started on that greasy mop, gross…

    • meme
      0

      well she is a media/famewhore, y’know. she’d like you to think she made this movie all by herself with no help from anyone. yeah, right.

      • rvc
        0

        She’s no ordinary famewhore though; she’s managed to convince everyone that she is the next Mother Teresa when there are better celebs who donate time and money without photogs following their every move. She did a LV campaign for the money but that was sold to us like it was an immense artistic+humanitarian effort, she can’t stop talking about her sex life, Brad or their almost-but-better-than marriage, hasn’t done a good movie in ages…but somehow tries to sell herself as being above it all.

  12. Christy
    0

    I actually love what I view as her elegant, not overdone, style. I find her fascinating.

    • Heather
      0

      I am actually not bored by HER, just by the need to write about her — and I do think we should feature her; it’s just sort of a catch 22.

  13. Alice Morris
    0

    This woman bores me more than anything else in the world.

    • Karen
      0

      Oh, goody, so it’s not just me!

      • Alice Morris
        0

        I just don’t get the fascination with her. She never looks happy or excited, she never has anything interesting to say so she talks about her sex life, she doesn’t appear to have any friends other than Brad. And I hate the constant comparisons to Jennifer Antison, but everyone gets on her for not changing her style. What has Angie ever did to change hers?

    • meme
      0

      me too. she’s plasticky.

      • Melly
        0

        I always took her demeanor as serene. Kids don’t seem to ruffle her, ever. I like that. I’m not sure about her responsibility to fashion or to be fashionable. I suspect she’s going to move farther and farther away from glamour, then when she’s in her 50s she’ll come back with a bang.

      • corleone
        0

        Serene? I believe she looks like she popped 50 valium before stepping out at Hollywood events. She is so snoozeworthy.

    • melanie
      0

      cheers

  14. Chasmosaur
    0

    *shrug* I would think being under the level of scrutiny she’s under, that she’s just given up and prefers to stay in the realm of “fine”. And even when she wears something kind of interesting (I’m thinking the white cashmere dress a year or so ago), she’s still criticized.

    So I think she’s learned not to care. She’s damned if she does, she’s damned if she doesn’t. She just seems to focus on her kids and her causes, so bully for her.

    And, as always, I personally think Brad Pitt is actively thumbing his nose at the media press and paparazzi with his hair and clothing choices.

  15. Karen
    0

    I prefer when she’s not sleeveless, as that tattoo of hers is hella distracting. I always think it looks like one of those QR codes.

  16. TonyG
    0

    I like the red one. And, I love Angie.

  17. Lina
    0

    I think the black is a great choice because she isn’t there to be a sexbomb. She’s there as the writer and director of the movie. I assume from the text that the Japanese shot is for Moneyball? I like the red dress — it is FABULOUS to see her in a color — and I can shrug off his hair. I mean, it’s for a role, it’s not like he can cut it.

  18. annabeth
    0

    The red one, I like. The post, I don’t. Why would you assume you know her whole personality because she dresses … perfectly okay? Or have Us Weekly’s “body language psychologists” taken over for Intern George this week?

    • Mair Mair
      0

      Um, surely you’ve noticed that inventing a personality from a celeb’s style of dress is one of this site’s raisons d’ etre?

      • Heather
        0

        I think we’re allowed to speculate, no? And I think it’s pretty clear speculating is all we’re doing. We look at more photos of these people every day than your average person, and you start to notice when the sparkle is gone and the boredom takes over.

      • annabeth
        0

        It’s one thing to speculate humorously — I laugh at “Hola, Lovers!” as much as anyone. This felt mean-spirited and unfunny. One of the main reasons I treasure this site is because it does snark in a funny, generous way instead of snooping to sniping. So when I read something like this, it’s disappointing.

      • Heather
        0

        @annabeth’s second post (i have no idea where this reply is going to show up in the flow, so just making sure): I’m sorry you felt that way. All I can say is that I hope you’ll give us the benefit of the doubt and know that it wasn’t MEANT to be mean-spirited. Like with anything, we have days of good temper and days of frustration, and this was borne of one of those writer’s block times where I was just trying to wrap my brain about what was bugging me/not clicking with me. You try stuff, and it’s not always going to work in the spirit it was intended, you know? I do hope one interpretation of a post won’t color the whole site for you. After all, Jess is still a nice person. ;)

  19. Kate
    0

    I dunno, given the ridiculous obsession with what Hollywood does, says and wears at all times, I can’t get upset if this is her aggressively Not Caring about all that. She shows up looking beautiful as required and manages to have a family and some causes she supports instead of airing her various affairs/addictions/body parts to the entire Western world. So it’s a little boring?

    • islandgirl1
      0

      She’s interesting in and of herself and supports great causes and does interesting projects, all with 6 kids (and entourage) in tow. She is beautiful and she knows it, and doesn’t obsess over outfits because she doesn’t need to. I think that’s fab. Also (I point out with great affection), for having nothing to say, this was a very long post. But it did explain your point exactly.

      • Heather
        0

        The reason it’s long is because I felt I had to explain why I couldn’t come up with anything to say about the outfit, you know? It was… fine. I couldn’t come up with an opinion. It was like pulling teeth. So I figured I would try to wrap my mind around why it was like pulling teeth.

  20. Katharine
    0

    I am not the biggest Angelina Jolie fan (indeed, not a fan at all) but you know? Her wardrobe? It’s fine. She has a defined style, and maybe it’s not in your face like some OTHER celebrities I could mention — but it’s there, it’s all hers, it’s consistent, it’s elegant, it doesn’t lend itself to nip slips and gynecological flashes… so why criticise at all? Ditto with her tabloid opposite Jennifer Aniston, most of the time.

    When we have Paz de la Huerta, why ask for more from those who aren’t so inclined?

  21. Diana
    0

    You know, there are some pretty convincing blog posts with before and after photos that allege she’s probably had some extremely good work done. I don’t care whether she has – she is gorgeous. However, if it’s true, how can she possibly expect us to buy what she’s selling (aggressive Not Caring)? Plastic surgery doesn’t exactly go with the “I can’t be bothered” bit.

    Love the red, the black is meh, and why does Brad insist on doing that to himself?

    • Kit
      0

      yeah – her latest cover pictures look shockingly different if you compare her face to just a few year ago. amazingly great surgeon though.

      • ~Lori
        0

        Try and remember the CRAZY airbrushing that goes on with these cover photos. I can’t attach much importance to differences among those.

    • rvc
      0

      Her ‘don’t care’ ‘look’ is as studied as Johnny Depp’s ‘dirty-arty-hipster’ look. And whatever, that’s fine; maybe she likes the shapeless sacks but it’s as effortless as Kim Kardashian’s ‘I-look-perfect-all-the-time’ shtick.

  22. Elise
    0

    her low profile clothes make me happy. this beautiful woman doesn’t exist to be a fashion icon – I recently read how she can’t even bother with jewelry if she’s not going to an event. she’s far more fascinating than most celebrities. girl’s got soul, and I really don’t mind if she prefers to wear simple clothing.

    • Christian
      0

      Ha! That’s funny considering she released that fug jewelry line recently.

  23. Sandra
    0

    Yaaaaawwwwwnnn

    What was the question?

  24. MA
    0

    I think she looks pretty in both outfits. Nothing wrong with simple and classy.

  25. Coco
    0

    Sandra, yes… exactly. Snoore….
    I’m so bored by their collective self righteous smugness to be either enamored or annoyed by either of them.

    • jenny
      0

      OMG, yes. I can’t believe people drank the kool-aid these two are selling. The pretentiousness, self-satisfaction, and need for attention (“but we HATE the attention, really”) is so thick you could cut it with a knife in every single red carpet photo.

  26. sandy
    0

    She looks nice, he looks nice… whatever. While they are both arguably attractive and talented, they both strike me as a bit too smug to be truly likable.

    A friend of mine made up the word “smugfuckery.” As in, “I like Brangelina’s clothes, but the smugfuckery is overpowering the styling.”

    It is also very possible that I am just envious. :-)

    • Wren
      0

      Oh wow, I will now use the hell out of “smugfuckery.” Thank your friend for this gem!

      That coupled with Heather’s post here are the perfect descriptions of what I feel about them in general. Though judging from the comments here, she’s surprisingly divisive. My opinion? Eh. She’s not the best person in the world and not the worst. There are better people to put on a pedestal but that’s how it goes.

      I think the red dress is better in that she just looks softer and a little more “hey I’m somewhat happy to be here.”

  27. Jacq
    0

    I don’t want to be all ‘she needs to eat a sandwich’ about her, because I hate it when people write that kind of thing in the comments, but the combination of her increasingly thin frame and her increasingly voluminous garments make me wonder whether she’s dealing with some kind of body image issues of the ‘not seeing quite how tiny you are’ variety.

  28. Eva
    0

    I like the red, profoundly dislike the black. I think it’s boring, doesn’t do her figure any favours and it’s true that she dresses way older than her age. I think she could still be discreet in a more youthful way. She’s still in her 30s!

    When I looked at their pictures from the premiere I couldn’t help being surprised that Brad is still hot. I guess he’s tired of it and simply doesn’t care but I miss him looking decent!

  29. Lynne
    0

    So bored of these two. They’re actually both on my list of deal breakers. Like I might have seen Moneyball if the greasy Pitt hadn’t been in it. At least she’s an actually good actor.

    I agree, Heather. It’s fine, I guess. She used to be beautiful before she became gaunt and sickly. The two of them look completely vacant. Like they’ve been hounded by press so much that their souls actually died.

    • Mair Mair
      0

      See, I feel exactly the opposite: he’s a decent actor. Her, not so much.

      • Christian
        0

        Yeahhh, I second Mair Mair. I actually glanced at her IMDB page after reading this post, and yeeesh. Then again I think it’s especially hard for her to disappear into any kind of role, because audiences can only see her as Angeline Jolie, what with That Face and all.

      • rvc
        0

        Agree with Mair Mair; Pitt’s decent, especially under a good director; she’s just a terrible actress.

  30. sirena
    0

    I keep coming back to the same thing here – she always looks great, whether it’s boring or not. Ultimately, this woman always leaves the house with a face that makes Helen of Troy’s look like it was falling asleep on the job, so with That Amazing Face (really, the Face of faces) who’s ever looking at anything else? She’s still the most stunning woman in entertainment, and I do not mind much about her :-)

    • Geemee
      0

      I’m with you on that, sirena. Plus, she’s got a beautiful man and six beautiful kids and a crazy-busy life, so I say they can all wear what they want and I will always look. Because even the smallest Jolie-Pitt dresses better than me.

  31. Brittney
    0

    Why does every actress have to care about fashion? Maybe she is just not that interested in fashion in general. If an actor shows up clean and modern looking no one cares. If an actress isn’t wearing the next season we say she’s boring. Can’t some women just want to act and make movies without also being a prostitute to the public?

    • Eliza Bennett
      0

      The Fug girls kind of celebrated that “not being a prostitute to the public” with a post last week-ish on Meryl Streep’s glorious don’t careness, but I think the issue is the smugfuckery. (Best new word, thank you, sandy) Also Angie indeed has That Face (and That Hair) and it makes me a little sad when all That is housed in a gothic snuggie.

  32. val.
    0

    I wish she would cut her hair. It’s time.

    • Sarah
      0

      OMG could you imagine how good she’d look with a Victoria Becham type bob? Then again, Angie could probably look good with anything.

  33. wordphreak
    0

    She’s not too famous; and her style is really boring. Please ignore her.

  34. fifie
    0

    I read somewhere that her main thing with clothes is that they have to be comfortable, and she doesn’t really care much beyond that. Say what you will about her, but I became a fan of hers when she was on the red carpet a few years ago prior to the Bradster and after BBT. She arrived solo and looked like a Grecian goddess parting the seas of cheesy celebrities. When the obsequious interviewer asked her who her date was that night she said “nobody, I’m here by myself”. She was so cool and collected. I thought, wow, that girl is fantastic!

  35. Maria L.
    0

    Um, we don’t all still care. In fact, some of us never cared to begin with. And still don’t.

  36. theotherjennifer
    0

    I honestly think she could care less. Short if she shaved her legs that day, long if she didn’t. Everything looks pretty effortless and I think that’s where her priorities are.

  37. Lesley
    0

    My thoughts of Angie and her style can be summed up in one word: “Meh”.

    She looks killer in green, though.

  38. gremel
    0

    I’ve always thought of her as a celebrity with a very clear view and great control of the image she wants to project to the world. She gives me the impression (as much as we can tell through interviews and gossip news) that she very carefully crafts her public persona. Don’t get me wrong. I’m sure most celebs try to do the same but she seems much more determined and skilled. She managed with great success to turn her oddbal vile of blood carrier/brother kisser/out of control persona into a caring mother/humanitarian image. So forgive me for not believing that her outfits reflect her couldn’t care less about fashion attitude. I never considered her a bold fashion icon and I don’t really mind that her outfits aren’t using the latest trends. It’s just that the way she hardly wears make-up and rarely bothers with her hair and her haughty look make me think she’s not honest in her apparent indiffence about fashion, red carpet appearences and PR.

  39. Bevvie Hedstrom
    0

    Okay, so I have a completely different take on this woman’s fashion motives. Angelina Jolie Has An Ugly Effing Body (from the ribcage down). She has no waist. Wide hips. Flat ass. Bird legs. She SAYS she wears those blousy clothes for comfort, but I think she wears them to camouflage her ugly body. Whether we like it or not, AJ is constantly being compared to Aniston in side-by-side pics, and Jennifer Aniston has arguably the best body in Hollywood. Sure, Angie will compare head shots and boob shots all day, but that’s it.

    • Bevvie Hedstrom
      0

      Holy crap. “Bitter, table for one?” No, I do not like Angelina Jolie.

      • LibraryChick
        0

        I think Bevvie has an interesting hypothesis, though I don’t know how many folks would agree with it. Ms. Jolie could have Body Dysmorphic Disorder and not appear to put effort into her appearance because she may not believe such efforts would yield the result she desires.

        I actually don’t mind the blousy stuff, but I guess it’s just because with the lymphedema from my mom’s breast cancer (thankfully in remission), I’m now on the lookout for styles that would accommodate the wider arm’s width without being too tentlike on the rest of her frame.

  40. Dinsdale
    0

    I always assumed that either she wasn’t into fashion at all or she knows she’s going to be photographed no matter what, so why give the public any thing more to talk about (e.g., fashion missteps, speculation on whose design she’ll be wearing, etc.). I’d try to be as boring in public as possible if I were in her position.

  41. Carolyn
    0

    I find Angelina boring, she is an average actress and her dress sense is dull. Why do so many publications always say how beautiful and amazing she looks. She is too thin and she needs a great stylist urgently.

  42. Claire L
    0

    Maybe she is having winter hair issues. I have winter hair issues…. it gets all frayed and ugly looking on the ends not two weeks after a cut, not ten minutes after it’s been brushed…. and the last thing I want to do is flat iron it into oblivion for the illusion of smooth… because then come summer I have to cut off more than I want…..
    I hate winter hair.

  43. buttercup
    0

    Sorry, folks. When you’re a mega-star who depends on the dollars and attention of the public to continue the very life you lead, you gotta start showing up. I don’t care what charity she does, without her star status, nobody would pay attention.

    My question is, if you’re fabulously wealthy, attached to the one of the best looking men of all time, have access to all the best clothing/shoes/stylists in the world, and have red carpets to grace, WHY would you miss an opportunity?! I agree with Heather here, it’s bordering on insulting.

    In addition, if you don’t troll gossip sites like I do, then you might not know exactly how choreographed and controlling these two are about their PR. So why go to all that trouble if the product you’re putting out is lackluster?

    She needs to change her hair. Get an interesting cut, FFS.
    These pumps she insists on wearing are boring. Nobody ever says on their deathbed, “I wished I’d worn more boring pumps on the red carpet!”
    The dresses never have any interesting details or a flattering fit. I could find something more compelling in the clearance section of Macy’s.

    Wealth is wasted on these people.

    Angelina used to be a badass chick. Then Saint Angelina took over. There’s no reason why both couldn’t co-exist.

    • Christian
      0

      I think I love you.

      • Michelle
        0

        “Wealth is wasted on these people”?
        So just because she doesn’t spend her money buying pretty shoes she’s somehow not making good enough use of her millions?

        and this: “I don’t care what charity she does, without her star status, nobody would pay attention.” Well, yes, of course. She’s a star = people pay attention. That’s kind of the whole equation of celebrity. What’s your point?

    • Franziska
      0

      Thanks, I couldn’t have said it any better.

    • GTO
      0

      Maybe because she lives her life for herself and her family and feels like she doesn’t owe an explanation to anyone else. Sheesh. I love how everyone knows just what she “needs” to do to make her self more appealing yet there are over 100 comments here. I think it bugs people that they live their lives the way they want to and not give a flying f about anything else. Good for them. Oh, and Brad is still freaking hot! Who cares about long hair or looking greasy?! Jesus just hose him off before throwing him into bed.

    • Michelle
      0

      “Wealth is wasted on these people”?
      So just because she doesn’t spend her money buying pretty shoes she’s somehow not making good enough use of her millions?

      and this: “I don’t care what charity she does, without her star status, nobody would pay attention.” Well, yes, of course. She’s a star = people pay attention. That’s kind of the whole equation of celebrity. What’s your point?

  44. Berglind
    0

    @Heather

    It isn´t so much the comment about the hair or how boring blogging about her clothes is. It’s the way you claim you know what she’s thinking, and that what she is thinking is petty. That is what makes you sound petty. And jealous.

    Maybe just ease up on that, mmkay?

    • Heather
      0

      But I don’t claim to know what she’s thinking. I’m guessing. I’m interpreting. Exactly the way we do on hundreds of other posts where we make up dialogues, or riff on the perceived body language. I’m sorry if the way I wrote it was unclear, but obviously I’m not saying I know what she’s thinking. I’m saying, looking at this photo, that’s what the PHOTO says to me about what she’s thinking. That’s different. And since our impressions can only be formed based on what we see, I’m saying, this is my IMPRESSION, and that off-putting IMPRESSION is what causes me to feel sort of ambivalently about her (when I have historically always kinda loved her).

      I am always okay with people disagreeing — always; it’s more interesting that way — but I don’t think an “mmmkay”-style slap on the wrist is appropriate here. Your have your opinion; I have mine. Perhaps I didn’t express it ideally, but to discount it so condescendingly goes against our commenting etiquette.

      • Bevvie Hedstrom
        0

        F.F.S., anything not overtly praising this woman is deemed vicious snark by the Angelina-ites.

        “I am ambivalent about the hue of Angelina’s shirt.”

        “OMG! YOU’RE JUST JEALOUS! ORPHANS!”

  45. Berglind
    0

    @annabeth

    Thank you. That is exactly what I was trying to say.

  46. AngryNYCchick
    0

    Angelina chose a career that puts her on display. With some celebrities we can pretend that they didn’t know what they were getting into, but she grew up with a celebrity father and none of this red carpet stuff is really any surprise to her. She does not have to fully engage, but we are not mean to comment.

    That said, I would like to mail her a sandwich. And I am not jealous of people who do not eat sandwiches.

    http://www.angrynycchick.blogspot.com

  47. Anne B
    0

    Like, “Oh, honey, no one will notice you if I go all-out, so I’ll just play it quiet.” Girl. We notice. You know it.

    Just need to chime in and say that — famous-couple or no, married or no, in the same line of work or no — I HATE IT when a woman does this for “her man”. Word, Heather!

    Also:

    This is what has become of him: such greasy lows that we look at this coif and think, “What a wonderful improvement.”

    Thank you. I’d even suggest that Brad, not Angie, is the real Fugstory here.

  48. vandalfan
    0

    Heather and Jessica, I have never, ever, EVER got the impression of one bit of hostility, meanness, animosity, or anything but the utmost goodwill in every inch of Go Fug Yourself. Especially with your posts, but also with our whole threading crowd. It’s a pleasure to be here among friends.

  49. AMS
    0

    “Hear, hear!” to the esteemed vandalfan and Anne B. I loved this post, Heather, because it said exactly what I was thinking when I saw the photos. I mean, can you get any more noncommittal than nude office pumps with that red dress? Also, “smugfuckery” is going right to the top of my New Favorite Word list.

  50. Heather
    0

    Thanks, guys! I do know it was sort of a CRANKY post, for sure, and I am always okay when people disagree — I have just never understood the “OH YOU’RE JUST JEALOUS” argument. Because it’s so baseless here, and in most places.

    I definitely did not mean to discredit any of her philanthropy, etc.; but this is part of her job. It’s part of her career. And there’s sort of a strangely smug (smugfuckery is hilarious), condescending bent to the way she carries herself at these events, as if she pities us for thinking this is important. And yet, it is kind of important, because she’s there, and Brad’s there, and if it weren’t important wouldn’t she just stay home? It’s like all those people who are like, “I HATE THE OSCARS, SO MEANINGLESS,” and then keep showing up and seeming sort of put-out when they don’t win.

    I suspect I am not helping my cause here. I was just trying to analyze why I feel so ambivalently toward her, when I was always fairly pro-Jolie. I think she and I both have some ennui.

    • Maretha2
      0

      I thought your post and the subsequent explanations brilliantly summed up how I’ve felt about La Jolie for some time. And your combination of thoughtful + hilarious writing is why I’ve been with this site since it launched.

  51. AM
    0

    I saw Original Sin and Beyond Borders years back. There’s Ms Jolie with two seemingly talented/hot actors making two hopeless, terrible and unsexy to boot movies. Those movies are right at the bottom of my list of films that I couldn’t complete watching and *deeply* regretted even hiring in the first place.

    After that NOTHING can convince me of A Jolie’s awesomeness or her acting ability. I dread watching even Banderas and Clive Owen films. Jen A suddenly seemed – ummm – talented.

    The clothes aren’t “I don’t care”. They say my personality is actually dull, beige, grey and black.

  52. AM
    0

    Oh and I don’t think this post is mean. At all. And the “you are jealous” is a boring fan girl line.

    As to the comment on knowing what Angelina was thinking, surely that is par for the course on a blog with madeup conversations and those crazy Jennifer Lopez concotions (LOVE them btw)!

  53. gladly
    0

    Man, I love this site, and I usually love your writing. I remember when you closed comments at your old site, and how your motto was “fug the clothes, not the person.” With this post and the Heigl post, not to mention last year’s Fug Madness and the Momsen tirades and the Hathaway hate, I feel like the editorial voice is slipping into something I don’t quite recognize anymore. There are a lot of places online to hate on women for what they look like and what people imagine they think. I didn’t ever think this lighthearted, funny site would ever be one.

    • Heather
      0

      I have to make a clarification re: you saying we take issue with what they look like. We take issue with what they’re WEARING, which comes hand in hand with the public image they present (which is part of their jobs, whether they like to admit it or not, as they are often paid to attend either on their own or as part of their movie/TV salaries). We poke fun at the self-inflicted stuff — we do not make fun of what they, genetically, look like.

      I’m sorry that you feel we’ve let you down, but I think… it’s an opinion site. I don’t think it seethes with hate — I think it’s pretty clear we are more worried about Momsen than anything — but there are definitely times when we need to express frustration with a celebrity rut, be it Heigl’s too-old style or Angelina’s… whatever this is. And sometimes all that is tied to the opinions we all end up having about a celebrity based on their public image and the projects they choose — but we do at least try to own up and let you know when our personal bias is really ringing in. It’s the best we can do, really. I don’t think the site’s voice is changing (and I don’t think we’re mean), but I do think it’s natural for the tone to undulate now and then, just because that’s natural. Hopefully we’ll make you happy again soon to compensate for the times we haven’t.

  54. TieDye64
    0

    You said it Heather. I agree with every word and certainly don’t see any meanness in any of your observations. It is astonishing to see someone so genetically gifted to make such a point of looking so dull and unfabulous. And I had the SAME EXACT reaction to Brad’s hair…hey, looking good. Wait, THIS now qualifies as good hair. Zzzzzzz indeed.

  55. maryse
    0

    if you’ve watched her over the years she’s always worked on her persona. she’s fake. i’ve never cared for her.

  56. Becky
    0

    He was such a beautiful man once, is she so insecure that he can’t look good ever again??

  57. exquisite red
    0

    Yep, you said it Heather. I dunno how you write about her over and over, when she wears the same boring crap all the time with the holier-than-thou looks. So thank you for trying to entertain us, as you & Jessica do every day. =)

  58. TonyG
    0

    I think it’s easy to forget that not everyone is a repeat visitor to the site; some appear for the first time.

    If this was the first post I read here, I would sense some animosity toward Jolie’s attitude as reflected in her “look.” But, that’s fine, as long as it based on what the clothes are projecting.

    It’s a fine balance; nuanced even, and not everyone will see the post for what it is about, which, ultimately is pretension.

    My take: It’s hard, I think, to be a part of Hollywood and not project pretension at some point, because it’s almost always all about pretending at public events. Some are better actors on the red carpet than they are in the movies; I tend to think Jolie just exists on the red carpet. She really doesn’t invest too much in the look she presents on the red carpet. It’s not an obsession of hers. That’s just the vibe she gives me.

    Is she pretending not to care, or is her non-chalance just part of who she is, and it comes off as pretension. I think it’s who she is. She’s just not all that show-off-y. I’ve gotten that vibe from most interviews I’ve seen of her.

    But, I say when a post sparks such reaction, it’s all good ’cause it winds up being informative about what the site tries to do.

  59. Anvil
    0

    I think she looks great compared to all those boobs-and-crotch-showing-wannabes who have nothing else to do. THAT’S the refreshing thing about AJ – she can wear a potato sack and it would still be her and nobody else. She’s her own trademark and she doesn’t need fancy, well-fitting clothes (although they wouldn’t harm either..)
    And for BP’s hair? Well, at least he’s got hair – my husband’s getting bald and I’d rather look at one with greasy long hair than with flimsy, single strands…. only joking! :-)

  60. Jessica
    0

    Let’s all just get real drunk on some egg nog and revisit this tomorrow, shall we?

    • Anvil
      0

      Fantastic idea…. although it’s only 12.00 p.m. here…but whatever, let’s do it! :)

  61. Verodemort
    0

    zZzZZzzz SSNNOOZZEEVVIILLEE ZzzZzZzZZ

    All you people sticking up for AJ are ridiculously lame. Mother Teresa Angelina Jolie has some fug fashion choices and Brad Pitt looks like he’s an achy breaky heart away from Billy Ray Cyrus territory and that’s 100% BULL TRUE. It isn’t Crotchtacular or Boobs Legsy status, but it also isn’t interesting or even just fine. Its boring. Her gorgeous face can only get her so far.They didn’t say she was a terrible person and that she doesn’t care about 100% of the worlds orphans – they just said she’s wearing a feh fug black potato sack. Get over it.

  62. creativefashionglee
    0

    In fact I found it cool that inspite of her status of stardom, her outfits are not too superficial, which is defined by others as just not caring. And yet, people are still talking about her. That´s very Angelina, not too trying. Unless you´re not aware that her signature look is a single-colored outfit mostly in laidback black, brown, white and other neutral colors, you would be shocked with that outfit of her in black above.

    Creative Fashion

  63. sylvia
    0

    I had this whole screech all written in my head about how, while I’m certainly tired of HER, I’m just 100 % more tired of how it’s impossible to criticize her even ever so mildly without the barrage of “JEALOUS BITTER HATER” accusations flying your way. But if you’ve already moved onto eggnog and hand-holding, maybe I won’t write it down after all.

    But I will say that the “she’s too important for pretty clothes” and “her amazing beauty would detract from the issue if she so much as bothered to brush her hair” excuses are, quite frankly, lame as all hell.

  64. ChaChaHeels
    0

    Oh, I get that she’s trying to be a mom and an artist and what have you bad girl with good intentions, but honestly, women with a large brood who wrangle them all by their lonesome selves are not rare, and they often do it with a tiny fraction of her resources–so it cannot be that. I don’t “get” the star power: she can’t pick a film role to save her life. Maybe that’s the secret, though: how hard could it be to stand out as “capable” in a badly written, unentertaining movie? You’re about guaranteed a review that says, “Film’s garbage, but she shines in it!”

    She’s really famous because her parents were a famous acting couple. And she’s not bad looking, but you have to admit her similarity to those “Thunderbirds Are Go!” puppets. All the more reason to put some effort into choosing good clothes.

  65. melanie
    0

    Can you just not post about them anymore, then? Because I’ve been really really tired of them for awhile now, like many others.
    Or if you do feel obligated to post about them when they make public appearances, since they’re celebrities, could you just post the photos, write “This is fine”, and then put up a poll where we can choose between “yes”, “no”, “whatever”?

  66. na
    0

    Simple, really. AJ is the ultimate hipster of the red carpet and, like the hipster brand, it can inspire feelings of intrigue, interest, confusion, exhaustion, and ultimately, annoyance to the observer. It’s impossible to figure out the motivation behind hipster actions other than self-promotion of the hipster style. I think the obfuscation of meaning is what’s getting us all up in arms here. I don’t think any of us doesn’t appreciate her genuine good will (and I think it is genuine). It’s just the ennui and the hipster attitude that we don’t know how to interpret.

  67. Eliza Bennett
    0

    Join hands, Fug Nation, everybody sing! “Kum-ba-yah, my lord…..KUM-BA-YAH….”

  68. Franziska
    0

    Angelina Jolie used to fascinate me with her fashion choices, now she just bores me. There is no bite anymore. Remember the days when she wore leather from head to toe… or not that long ago she wore a nude coloured outfit that looked like she was naked underneath but you knew she wasn’t … or was she??? See, that’s what I mean with fascinating… now I look at her and think, black dress tick, nude shoes, tick, simple red dress, tick. (and that shade or red doesn’t suit her).

  69. TTBelle
    0

    I think her curious expressions into the camera with Brad present have to do with her bad girl side “belonging to Brad” as she said in a recent interview. I don’t know WHAT that’s supposed to mean but it’s like she’s saying to the camera “You have no idea what we’re up to behind closed doors, tee hee.”

  70. Diana
    0

    Ok, I don’t think this post was mean spirited or anything, but I wasn’t sure how to feel about some of what was written. I’d like to ask Heather a question: Do you believe that it is a celebrity’s responsibility to wear clothes that are inspired and look like they’re making an effort on the red carpet and if so why, or is your qualm solely that it makes your job a pain in the ass when you have to write about someone with boring clothes?

  71. Laura
    0

    First, I don’t think you ladies are ever mean spirited and I do think that you critique the fashion and not the physique of most celebs, which I much appreciate. Second, I work in PR, so I get your cynical bent about the whole “I don’t care” attitude when, let’s face it, she’s there, so she HAS to care. That being said, I REALLY like what Jolie usually wears on the red carpet because I consistently think, that is ABSOLUTELY what I wear. There is no way in hell I would wear 90% of stuff that I see celebs wear, but her style is extremely similar to mine. I like simple, elegant clothes & hate print and most color so I am always interested in what she wears. :-)

  72. crystal
    0

    I wish she would cut her hair. Just chop it right the heck off, like she did back in the Foxfire days. That would be so exciting!

  73. Andrea
    0

    This black outfit reminds me of prom, circa 1977…and that necklace is hideous. When I saw that thing, I thought it looked like ginormous mardi GRAS beads…it’s so cheap looking. I hate this whole outfit, but your blog rocks. It’s a daily must go to!

  74. kscoaster
    0

    Boy – memo to self – don’t dis Angie without donning a flak jacket first…

    I thought it was a cute, amusing post and was just going to comment “How long has that been building up?!” To my way of thinking, if you’re – willingly, mind you – going to stand on a red carpet in front of a bank of cameras taking pictures intended for public consumption, put some effort into it. Even if you’re bored. Otherwise, stay home in a snuggie and watch a video.

    To be honest, I think Heather deserves a medal for lasting this long. I’m guessing that, coming right on the heels of (yet another) post of Zoe Saldana look fab and perky, she just couldn’t take it anymore. I don’t blame her one bit.

  75. Hima
    0

    Heather and Jessica: maybe you should declare a moratorium on writing about Angelina until she wears something interesting. You have done something like this before — usually when it comes to the celebrities that seem mentally ill or sick or something. This could just be to deal with Angelina’s boring clothing illness. She can’t help herself from being absolutely uninteresting, so it would be wrong for you to fug her until she recovers. And if that never happens – well, you can be free from dealing with the exhaustion she causes. She’s NOT too famous to ignore. I promise I would never miss her.

  76. Cathy
    0

    For the first time in my life I looked at Brad and thought of OMGosh, it’s the dad of Miley Cyrus! As for Angie, the Grecian look is no longer interesting. Actually never was. Please, for once, I beg of you wear something clingy.

  77. Katie Starfish
    0

    I do like the red dress. I’m not sure that exact red is the best colour for her skin tone (and there are soooo many reds to choose from – I think she’d have been better in a cool, blue-based red rather than an orange-based RED, and actually, same goes for her lipstick) but the shape and fit of the dress itself are perfect. It’s the right size, and let’s just take a moment to applaud that, yes? Also, comparing her to what Leann Rimes is looking like these days (a skeleton) it’s lovely to see a woman who has a healthy-looking body.

    So there’s that.

  78. Annie Mouse
    0

    When she DOES “get dressed,” she gets dinged by the larger press for being too shallow to carry the UNHCR weight, to be the humanitarian it’s clearly important to her to be. If she spends money on anything, she’s harangued, it seems like – how dare she!

    I kinda feel like in her position, she’s taking the safest route, and trying to be as low-key as she can.

  79. Fifi
    0

    I agree with the face comment… and, I can kind of understand her going with the understated look in the first image. She was there for a movie in which she made her directorial debut. I see choosing this outfit as a strategic move to keep the interest on the film and not her ensemble. And, she could wear a burlap sack and still be one of the most elegant women on the planet. Angelina Jolie makes my Mom understand why I can like women.

  80. LibraryChick
    0

    Oh, I get that she’s trying to be a mom and an artist and what have you bad girl with good intentions, but honestly, women with a large brood who wrangle them all by their lonesome selves are not rare, and they often do it with a tiny fraction of her resources–so it cannot be that.

    I like the note from ChaChaHeels. Yesterday I saw a widow with four daughters ranging from four years old to fourteen at a holiday party. Her husband had died in Iraq. She may not have been in the fanciest clothes, but she had taken the time to make her hair and makeup look nice and to wear an outfit that was seasonally appropriate and flattering. I thought she was presenting a good example to her daughters (all also cute and wearing age appropriate clothing) by not “phoning in” her appearance, even though I would have cut her plenty of slack if she had.

    For those defending Ms. Jolie’s choices, I think I would have a difficult time dressing for any red carpet event if I had seen half the poverty Ms. Jolie has witnessed in other countries. I’ve only seen the poverty in my mother’s first home (the Philippines), and that has been enough for me to feel guilty about buying new clothes in general (except underwear) when there is such a glut of great thrift stores and consignment shops in my town. Ms. Jolie probably walks a fine line between “not dressy enough” and “too opulent for a UN goodwill ambassador” in her outfit choices on any red carpet, and maybe it would be too ostentatious if she tried to go the Princess Diana route of auctioning off her gowns for charitable causes. I’m just happy she doesn’t wear the same outfit on the red carpet all the time.

    If Ms. Jolie’s and/or Mr. Pitt’s outfits are too boring for us as the Fug Nation, let’s support a moratorium on such posts. Frankly, I’m surprised by how much heat this topic has generated. I didn’t find Heather’s tone mean. I thought she was just giving us a window into her dilemma as a fashion critic when the fashion rarely changes for Ms. Jolie. We could try a poll in which we let Heather and Jessica know whether we’re still interested in following the fashions of Ms. Jolie and/or Mr. Pitt, but I fear the comments to such a poll might bring even more vitriol.

  81. ddukes
    0

    You people have got to be kidding. The Fug Girls are not allowed to fug Angelina anymore? You are forbidding them to fug?

    I say fug her. She’s fug, she’s smugfug. This black outfit is horrible and the beads are worse and I don’t buy any of it as not caring and you nailed it.

    Why are Angelina’s fans so humorless? Take a chill pill people.

  82. Mya
    0

    She looks like a tranny with Tarsier monkey hands!