Fugcretary


[Photo: Splash News]

PETER SAAAAAARSGAAAAARD:Maggie.

MAGGIE GYLLLLLENHAAAAL: Peter.

PETER: A word?

MAGGIE: Does it use the letter ‘a’? Because our surnames may have already used up our daily quota.

PETER: No. The word is, “Yikes.”

MAGGIE: I don’t like that word.

PETER: How about “criminy”?

MAGGIE: That word sounds like it should be a type of fish.

PETER: “Jeepers”?

MAGGIE: An accessory to an off-roading vehicle.

PETER: Well, what word would you use to say, “Honey, that jumpsuit you’re wearing is heinous and doesn’t even fit you that well and it’s rather unflattering and I could lose an entire bottle of Dom in the depth of the wrinkles from when you sat down in the limo”?

MAGGIE: Maybe just drop to your knees, wave your fist at the sky, and shout, “NOOOOOOOOOO.”

PETER: Thanks. I’ll try that next time.

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