Fuga Longoria


This whole thing is terrible.

And I was going to blame it on the nighness of Cannes (also, The Nighness of Cannes sounds like a really awful book), which is always replete with wacky clothes. But then I realized Eva’s entire Fug Madness candidacy this year was based on her making very questionable choices with both black and the sheers, so essentially, I guess this is just Eva Longoria following her instincts. I would expound on depressing that is, but while typing, I saw the commercial for Old Navy that features Boys II Men bastardizing “I’ll Make Love To You” to be about white jeans and I think it blew a fuse in my brain.

[Photo: Fame/Flynet]

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Comments (25):

  1. goldfish
    +17

    It’s very bad that at first glance, I thought, “Wait, didn’t we just have a Kim Kardashian two posts ago…?” It’s just very bad.

  2. Helen
    +4

    I actually Googled “Eva Longoria pregnant” on seeing this.

    It appears she isn’t, though there have been rumors, so… that outfit is NOT flattering.

  3. Anna Svahn
    +6

    I have these pants. I wear them to do laundry.

    • Elbyem
      +6

      And I wear them when someone rubs the lamp and I emerge from it to tell them I’m going to grant them three wishes. Barbara Eden did this look much better – with a cute little jewel-encrusted bolero topping it off.

  4. Nanny
    +1

    I’ll allow the Old Navy if only because Old Navy has super cute clothes super cheap, however they better not touch “Motownphilly”!

  5.  Meg
    +4

    The best/worst part about the white jeans commercial is that they could only come up with TWO lines of rewritten lyrics. The rest is “doo-doo-doo-doo-doo.”

  6. maryse
    +2

    this outfit would be better were she to replace those satin harem pants with white old navy jeans.

  7. Chris P
    +5

    Welcome back, Widow Longoria. We’ve missed you.

    • Sajorina
      +2

      I haven’t! She’s everywhere… First, the stupid dating show that got canceled and then the Lay’s Potato Chips commercial with Chef Michael Simon!

    • Chris P
      +3

      I should clarify: While the Widow Longoria IS Eva Longoria, Eva Longoria IS NOT necessarily the Widow Longoria.

      Unless she’s been consistently dressing up like she’s about to go to a funereal brunch, in which case I stand corrected.

  8. Bottle Ginger
    +12

    It’s very difficult to make an outfit that’s both slutty and dowdy, but she’s managed it.

    • scone
      +3

      Indeed! Also hard to wear something sheer that makes you look fat (when you decidedly are not).

  9. TonyG
    +4

    I felt so very sorry for Boys II Men when I saw that commercial. I think that must have been kind of painful for them (pain eased of course by the big pay day). Still, they deserve better than a commercial that has them, instead of a movie, entertaining airplane passengers. I literally cringed for them because of the analogy of Boyz II Men to bad entertainment on an airplane. Why Boyz??? Whyyyyyy????!!!!! You should have said no!

    I feel better now.

    • Sajorina
      0

      Well, only 3 of the Boyz said “Yes”! Where’s the other one? Anyway, that song is almost 20 years old! I feel ancient!

  10. Carol
    +4

    I hope Kim doesn’t see this outfit … I would not put it past Kim to do the sheer blouse/bra look right now, even at this delicate time.

    Follow-up question: Did the Widow Longoria nick the purse from The Queen? Dowdy indeed.

  11. BrownEyedBetty
    +2

    such a shame too! She’s so beautiful and has such a lovely figure. What gives…?

  12. Art Eclectic
    +2

    Count me in with “I thought this was Kim Kardashian at first.” Eva really should not take that as a compliment.

  13. annabelle
    +1

    All I can hear is I’m in a genie in a bottle…

  14. Jane
    +2

    She’s beautiful but she truly has no taste.

  15. Jules
    +1

    I love black, (and lately been looking into the theory of wearing a uniform and its effects on creativity…)
    But I also have a closet where I hide away things out of season, to prevent confusing mishaps, like meshy, long sleeved, Halloween kind of tops in freaking May.

  16. Faye
    +4

    Eva Longoria really started bugging me around the time when she developed the belief that because she was campaigning for Obama, she was some political expert instead of just being like every other celeb out there. I read an interview where she actually said she thought at point she might have been considered by Obama for a government post.

    This outfit is not making me like her more.