Fug The Date VI: 9/02/10


“Hello, I’m Donna Martin, and I’m wearing a necktie.”

“Also, I hate my hair. It’s dry, my roots are awful, and frankly, I have three pounds of AquaNet in it right now. If it falls down, it will land so hard it undoes my nose job.” 

“Wait a second… I know how to fix this. I know EXACTLY what to do:

“That’s right, drink me in, boys. It’d be like making out with Nicolas Cage at his finest. You know the Vanilla Mullet is the smoothest milkshake in town.”
“…Or… maybe not? Oh, God…”
“WHAT HAVE I DONE? Is this why Ray Pruit smashed the pumpkins on my porch? IS IT?”
“This is better, right? I mean, it’s so… gelled! Gel is always better! Am I right, actor Greg Vaughan, who was on our 90210 twice as two different people and then on the new 90210 as an entirely different third character? Yes. I am right.”
“Okay, so I was wrong. Does THIS help? You know, putting all these pins and stuff into it so that it looks real complicated?”
“Uh, never mind, Clare, don’t answer that.” 
“Listen, clearly desperate times call for desperate measures. Maybe if my boobs keep mysteriously growing, nobody will notice that I gave myself blonde highlights with a white-out bottle.”
“Sigh. No. Nothing worked. I don’t even want to REMEMBER the time I had carrot-orange hair with really short, thick bangs straight across my forehead. Like, I’ve blanked that out, you know? Much like this is the only photo in which I display any interest in, or rudimentary knowledge of the existence of, a place that uses strange symbol thingamies in place of American letterbet. Life is hard. This hair is terrible. And I’m out of options. There is only one thing left for me to do.”
“VICTORY!”

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Comments (273):

  1. llism
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    I just want to say how PROFOUNDLY I am enjoying this thread. Thank you!!!

  2. Mags
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    I wish everyday could be 90210 Day!

  3. Magdalena
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    Me too. I’m revelling in the fact that I can go right ahead and truthfully use the silliest acronym of last decade: LOL.

  4. willow
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    I like the second last picture! It might be because I went through a stage where mine was EXACTLY the same.

  5. pelijenn
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    This is my favorite day!

  6. Anonymous
    0

    It saddens me the lengths to which a person would go to disguise the fact that her hair is (gasp) curly. All of this hideousness in the name of straight hair. Oh, the 90′s.

  7. Jill
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    This is the best 90210 day ever!!!!

  8. Laura
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    Love this day!

  9. Steph
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    I actually LIKE the brown-red blah blah. But Tori can do no wrong by me. Happy 90210 Day!!

  10. Adriana
    0

    Thank you, Fug Girls!

  11. Emily
    0

    LOVE.

  12. Melewen
    0

    9/02/10 is the BEST DAY EVER!!

  13. Steph
    0

    Please follow this up with a fugging of the unfortunately Brenda Walsh eyebrow debacle of later seasons.

  14. Breda
    0

    I quite like the second-to-last. It’s pretty darn nineties, but the best of the decade, to be sure.

  15. Chaiaiai
    0

    hold me, girls. never leave me. as soon as i heard the date on the radio, i knew. i KNEW. and i came to the site asap. BEST DAY EVER!

  16. lily
    0

    It’s not even 09.02.10 in the UK but these posts have made me love the fact that it is over there. Could not love vanilla mullet more

  17. kmecoo
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    you fug girls are fantastic

  18. mr hudson
    0

    Somebody please tell me that these looked ridiculous back then when you were watching it in the present. I’m having panic attacks about looking back on Blair and Serena in 10 years. god I hope Blair has been future proofed!

  19. Brooke
    0

    Love 90210 and LOVE LOVE LOVE the Fug Girls. Thanks for making this rapidly-approaching-middle-age gal laugh out loud. Can we have 90210 Day once a month (even though I know that doesn’t work out with the date)? In lieu of that, perhaps once a month, a Fug tribute to an ’80s or ’90s show of yore? It brings back such sweet memories. And a few cringes. In a good way.

  20. kate
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    Thank you so much for 90210 day. Really.

  21. KristanC
    0

    Today is so much fun. Can tomorrow be a sequel or spin-off? So, like, Melrose Place Day?

  22. mary
    0

    I actually never saw one episode of this show but I am laughing so hard at these vignettes. You are both very funny.

  23. Nicole
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    Never has Donna Martin’s poor hair choices been so eloquently and rofl-tastically described.

    THANK YOU.

  24. Megan
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    YES. I saw something about this date and knew you guys would have it covered. It’s to the point where I instantly think of GFY whenever there’s a mention of Sweet Vally High, 90210, or Pacey. Or sandwiches. Or Diet Coke. Or rompers. Love you guys!

    p.s. I totally got seasons 1 and 2 of 90210 from the library. Marathon at my place. Wear your best floral bike shorts!

  25. Anne B
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    So. AWEsome.

    Wiggidy-widdigy-wiggidy-WACK, yo. :)

  26. vandalfan
    0

    Never saw it. Wished I did.

  27. Jennifer
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    Never realized how much Heidi Montag and Tori spelling look alike. The second picture really looks like heidi

  28. Anonymous
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    I like the brown-red ones…minus the white-out streaks in the first one, and the second one altogether. Why she went platinum I’ll never know because the brownish tones suit her much better.

    And, I’m really tempted to vote for ‘gel’ because she accessorized with Greg Vaughan, and nobody’s going to be staring at her awful hair when she’s standing next to that greek god.

  29. Jill
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    Thanks for making me feel better about the photos of me in my 90s grunge phase with purple, then pink, then tomato-ketchup-red hair! Bad as my hair was, Donna’s is much much worse, not to mention it looks like she had to spend a bunch of time every morning to get it to look so bad.

  30. Suzy
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    I’m really enjoying this whole 90210 series!

  31. Alice Anne Allabastro
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    Can someone please let me know what two characters Greg Vaughan played on the original 90210? I know Cliff was one, but when did he play someone entirely different? I’m dying to know. Btw, they’ve done that before. They did that with Dean Cain. In the episode when Brenda sleeps in a broom closet at a hotel Dean Cain was the bellboy that flirted with her and then of course he played Rick in season four.

  32. Adriana
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    Dean Cain only appeared once. The hotel guy later showed up to play Stuart, Brenda’s boyfriend that she almost married in Vegas.

  33. Allie
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    I thought I knew all things 90210 but don’t remember Vaughn or Cain playing two people. I know they did it with Josie Davis, who played Camille in the last season, but had played one half of a lesbian couple that Steve and Brandon think they are on a double date with in the guy-girl sense, but the girls think Steve and Brandon are gay and they are on a date in the guy-guy, girl-girl sense!

  34. Alice
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    Oh yes, that’s right, It was Stuart not Rick that appeared twice as different people. My bad. Thanks Adriana! Love all this 90210 talk! :)

  35. Courtney
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    I was a senior in high school when the 90210 girls started doing their hair with all those complicated twists and pins, and I swear I spent HOURS emulating it. I swear that at the time, it looked great.

  36. Hima
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    Oh god. The top side ponytail?! That’s amazing. Thank you Fug Girls for celebrating 90210 day like this. This site is so precious to me.

  37. Munster
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    Awesome. You’re simply awesome.

  38. CampCounsellor
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    God, all you people are so HATEFUL!

    Donna Martin WAS 90210. She was the heart, soul, eyes, ears and occasionally the HAIR of 90210.

    DONNA MARTIN GRADUATES! YEAH!

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