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KATHERINE: God, I feel good. I’m pretty, I’m thin, I’m loaded, I already have an Emmy so I SERIOUSLY DON’T CARE that I wasn’t nominated again NO REALLY I DON’T NEED YOUR MEANINGLESS TROPHIES, I’m in an expensive dress, I’m a brunette again and I kind of look better that way, and I’m taller than, like, everyone standing behind me right now. Life is so good.

VOICE: Hey, Katherine! KATHERINE!

KATHERINE: Who is… Oh, Jesus, no. Not him.

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GERARD BUTLER: It is I! Gerard! Your loving co-star! Come here and give me some sugar!

KATHERINE: Oh, my, you’re hugging me with your pelvis. That’s so… you.

GERARD: Listen, Katie. Can I call you Katie? Katie, you’re a great-looking broad. Why are you in a big pile of tulle tied up with a mangy-looking ribbon?

KATHERINE: Funny, I was just standing here thinking to myself that I look hot.

GERARD: Is it a security blanket of tulle? Are you like a little baby, who needs to be swaddled to stay calm? If I rip the tulle off you, will you have a tantrum?

KATHERINE: Yes, but not for that reason.

GERARD: It’s just not working for me, honey. It’s limp and musty-looking. And you KNOW I stay away from anything limp, AM I RIGHT?

KATHERINE: Really? I was so sure this dress was hot.

GERARD: From the back it kind of looks like it got caught in your panties in the bathroom.

KATHERINE: You’re KIDDING. I don’t believe you.

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GERARD: Believe it.

KATHERINE: Damn. So it’s not sexy?

GERARD: I didn’t say THAT.

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GERARD: In fact, if that’s your thing, Katie, then I’ve got something ELSE we could get caught in your panties in the bathroom.

KATHERINE: GERARD. That is DISGUSTING. I am a MARRIED WOMAN.

GERARD: How do you know I was being disgusting? Maybe I just meant, I have a hip flask you could keep there.

KATHERINE: You are so full of it.

GERARD: You could be, too.

KATHERINE: EW. MAN-WHORE!

GERARD: Not at all; I’m free of charge, darling.

KATHERINE: You know, Gerard, just because you don’t want people thinking that you’re dating Jennifer Aniston, because it will ruin your cad-about-town reputation, it doesn’t mean you can come over here and…

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GERARD: You are so DELICIOUS. I could EAT YOU UP.

KATHERINE: So, wait. You think I am delicious, but you don’t like my dress, but you DO think it makes you want to ravage me in the ladies’ room? That doesn’t make sense.

GERARD: I’m a complicated man, Katie.

KATHERINE: You’re a horndog.

GERARD: Yes. I am.

KATHERINE: So get to the point here. Do I look hot, or not?

GERARD: You taste like cupcakes. And kittens.

KATHERINE: Forget it. I don’t want to know.

If you think it’s even slightly fug, what would you change? The bow? The tulle overlay? The color? Her hair? The ruffles? The bunching? WHAT? Tell me in the comments — with the usual caveats that it should be kept clean, on-topic, and low in trans-fats.