Fug or Fab: Nikki Reed and Ashley Greene


fug-or-fab

It has come to my attention that I don’t totally know the different between Nikki Reed and Ashley Greene. They both play Cullens of some ilk in Twilight and Twilight II: Electric Boogaloo and Twilight III: Electric Boogalee — poorly, from what I remember –and that’s all I know. But I also spent most of Twilight One: The Beginning laughing at Jackson Rathbone’s HILARIOUS wig, and Twilight Two: A New Hope admiring Lautner’s abs. Which is probably why, when I read on the Marchesa twitter feed that they’d dressed Nikki Reed, I was super surprised to see this:

THAT does not look like Marchesa. Also, THAT’S NOT NIKKI REED, JESSICA. THIS is Nikki Reed:


One is wearing a bedsheet, the other is doing a classic Miss J “Broken Down Doll”/Come See How Wee My Waist Is pose in an ostrich and some tulle and enough spray tan to power two seasons of Dancing With the Stars. Despite the incredible disparity in their looks — depressed vs. peppy; minimalism v. maximalism; look at me vs. LOOK AWAY — I am pretty sure I still won’t be able to tell them apart next time I see them.
 

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Comments (162):

  1. jocelyn
    0

    Oksana called, she wants her outfit back.

  2. Kate
    0

    I want to like Ashley’s look, but yeah, way too much bedsheet. If it was a little more form-fitting, even a hint of where her curves are, I think we’d have had a winner. Her hair looks lovely. (And really Jessica, she’s clearly the prettier of the two.)

    Nikki’s dress could’ve been fun, but her pose and the feathery shoulder pads makes her look like she’s too broad or muscular for it. Also, the cheesetastic grin is over the top. She looks very much like ‘High School Softball Champ Goes to Prom’.

  3. Sandra
    0

    Oh. Honey. NO! Times two. I don’t think that first one is even a bedsheet. She looks as though she wrapped herself in her shower curtain after neglecting to grab a towel from the linen closet before she hopped in. And then just forgot to put on her actual clothes. The second one is a cautionary tale for ugly duckings everywhere: You put up with all the playground insults and lack of self-esteem, you grow up to be a beautiful swan, and some wannabe skins you and wears your hide to a movie premiere. You might want to consider another path in life.

  4. courtney
    0

    Nikki looks like an extra in Swan Lake, only a dead swan that wandered too far north and died while swimming around in a lake full of icebergs.

    As for Ashley, I always feel like she’s either trying too hard or not trying hard enough.

  5. carrieparker
    0

    Ashley’s looks ok; it’s very elegant and I would like it except that it completely swallows her waist. It’d look way less like a bedsheet if it were fitted.
    I am in complete agreement with Jocelyn about the Oksana thing … or perhaps there’s a “Twilight On Ice” in the works.

  6. JAL512
    0

    Why do I keep thinking of Bjork?

  7. Amanda in Austin
    0

    Nobody can pull off the “I just had amazing sex, now I need to go to the bathroom, so I will wrap this bedsheet cleverly around me” look in real life. Plus, if you just had sex with the guy, why must you become all modest and wrap a sheet around yourself to go to the bathroom anyway? Prude!

  8. GFY Jessica
    0

    ARGH, a preemptive apology for the grammatical mistake in the poll; they aren’t editable w.o losing the results. That’s what I get for having written this pre-coffee. Sorry, all! Please carry on.

  9. Amy
    0

    Ashley Greene’s hair – check!
    Nikki Reed’s shoes – check!
    All the rest = hot mess.

  10. Karen
    0

    Ashley would look great if she’d just SMILE. Does it really suck that badly to be young, hot and in demand in Hollywood?

  11. Rikki
    0

    Oh, Amanda in Austin, you must be so young. Take it from your elders, one day you too will have ass cellulite, then you will know of the need to wrap yourself in bedsheets after a round of hot sex. Enjoy your youth and firmness while you have it!

  12. Susan
    0

    A Twilight fan so: two thumbs up

  13. char
    0

    Nikki can act (13, Lords of Dogtown); Ashley can’t. Both of their dresses s*ck, however.

  14. Meghan
    0

    Jocelyn, HAHAHAHA! Lol.

    No seriously, she wants it back. It’s Friday and she’s going out.

  15. Carolina Girl
    0

    Jessica! Girl, you’re slipping. I can’t believe that it took someone in the comments section to make the figure skating reference.

  16. Willow
    0

    Can Ashley just keep her Alice wig on, it would make life easier.

  17. vandalfan
    0

    Do these poor young things have mutual head injuries? #1 is a bedsheet, albeit in a pretty, subtle color. #2 is an ice skating outfit, period. Did #2 loose a bet? Is #1 off to a toga party?

  18. andyleigh
    0

    These are both just so awful.

    The bedsheet doesn’t look like “I just had fantastic animal sex with a hot guy!” but more like “I’m so depressed that I couldn’t dress myself, so I dragged this dingy sheet I’ve been sleeping in for the past month off the bed with me and here I am. Sigh.” That’s just sad.

    On the other hand, I didn’t know that feathered epaulettes were a thing now. They should stop being a thing. This ensemble manages to make her look broad-shouldered, flat-chested and no-waisted. It’s not just an ice skating costume, it’s a bad ice skating costume. I don’t think that’s the effect she was going for.

  19. andyleigh
    0

    These are both just so awful.

    The bedsheet doesn’t look like “I just had fantastic animal sex with a hot guy!” but more like “I’m so depressed that I couldn’t dress myself, so I dragged this dingy sheet I’ve been sleeping in for the past month off the bed with me and here I am. Sigh.” That’s just sad.

    On the other hand, I didn’t know that feathered epaulettes were a thing now. They should stop being a thing. This ensemble manages to make her look broad-shouldered, flat-chested and no-waisted. It’s not just an ice skating costume, it’s a bad ice skating costume. I don’t think that’s the effect she was going for.

  20. andyleigh
    0

    Uh oh. I didn’t mean to comment twice. How did I do that?

    Mea culpa. I’m repeating myself.

    Mea culpa. I’m repeating myself.

    Oy.

  21. Laura
    0

    Alright, I still don’t know who is who. It made the poll pretty tricky. I like the second one?

  22. wahoob
    0

    I wonder if I am the only other person in the FugNation who got the “Electric Boogaloo” reference. However, regardless, the fact that you even came up with that made me smile from ear to ear. But, just as quickly as it came, my smile turned into a head-cocked “What the…?” when catching sight of Ashley’s whatever-that-is, and then quickly morphed again into an open-mouthed, audible gasp when I saw Nikki’s. Even Shabba-Doo would vote thumbs down on both.

  23. kayla
    0

    Starlet #2 should have taken off her socks before they spray-tanned her. And I think the time is right for a whole lotta “Dancing With The Stars” jokes with that get up! (I think I’m showing my age when I refer to someone’s outfit as a “get up”.)

  24. Rayna
    0

    OT: Can we talk for just a minute about Elizabeth R, the other “somebody” from Twilight: Something Something, and about her black sequiny WAAAAYY too tight dress? Didn’t some British celeb wear a similar thing in white? But maybe floor length?

    And, thanks, Jessica, for the Electric Boogaloo ref! (she remembers younger days, fun-filled, sun-soaked, etc.)

  25. Christy
    0

    Maybe I like Nikki’s because I have a five year old daughter who adores barbie Swan Lake and that’s what she kinda looks like…. hmmmm

  26. M
    0

    why ‘I can’t tell them apart’ is not an option??
    seriously, I totally can’t tell them apart, ever. and this is like the same person showed up at the same event twice for me. both outfits fug btw

  27. G
    0

    TOGA! TOGA! TOGA!

  28. Luiza
    0

    When I first saw Ashley Greene wearing that, I wondered exactly who she wanted to be: the lady who just woke up with her bedsheets on or the girl from ancient Greece wearing a Toga.

    Nikki Reed is someone who really intrigues me. How can someone be so pretty and never be well-dressed? OK, if she was performing a play role in the Swan Lake Ballet or something I think she would be just fine.

    Anyway, I may think that these two girls didn’t know that they both were supposed to go to a movie premiere… hummmm…

  29. CJ
    0

    Ashley Greene: just because someone says that you are so pretty you could wear anything you want, doesn’t mean you should. Gorgeous from the neck up. You’ve got to be kidding from the neck down. And I had no idea ridiculous came in such an unbecoming color, though your new hair color is lovely. Nikki Reed: I have no idea who you are. You are pretty and have nice gams, but unless you are hoping to be cast in an Anna Pavlova biopic, this is an inappropriate choice. Nix the “Oh, Mickey, you’re so fine” arms on the hips, nix the feathers, and make a simple sheath with the fabric on your torso and now we’re talking.

  30. cranky old batt
    0

    I’m pretty sure that second photo has caused permanent damage to my eyes.

  31. Kyasarin
    0

    Huh. In spite of the bedsheet-ness of the dress, I rather like Ashley’s look. Her makeup and hair are perfect, and I’m persuading myself that the dress looks really good in motion. OTOH, Nikki looks like an ice dancer without a rink.

  32. Sajorina
    0

    I like Ashley’s look because it could be improved, and she looks beautiful.

    But, Nikki’s look is so abrasive, it’s like rubbing a Brillo Pad on my eyeball!!!

  33. bilijin
    0

    I actually like the first pic, but I think the face and hair are saving the dress. Seriously, that head is pretty much perfect. The dress is quaint somehow. Relaxed formal, if you will.
    The ice dance outfit… She needs one of those feather head pieces that covers the hair. You know? The kind wear the feathers are fashioned into a sort of swim cap. That would be great.

  34. Fuh Ugh
    0

    Ashley Greene GRAY NAIL POLISH! Ack! That’s the creepiest thing I’ve ever seen … like she actually is a Cullen and the acting part is when she pretends to be a human.

  35. Lisa
    0

    I am so freaked out by the second picture. What’s her name put her head on backwards, apparently.

  36. Lori
    0

    Why does everyone pose with their hands on their hips, their legs spread, and one out in front with the foot twisted weirdly? It looks so freaking stupid!! American women just cannot be themselves. They always look uncomfortable and contrived in these photos.

  37. Lori
    0

    Why does everyone pose with their hands on their hips, their legs spread, and one out in front with the foot twisted weirdly? It looks so freaking stupid!! American women just cannot be themselves. They always look uncomfortable and contrived in these photos.

  38. Alison
    0

    Apparently, I can’t tell them apart, either. I meant to vote for the bed sheet looking kind of good since ice capades just looks terrible, but it seems I got the names wrong. Even though it was clarified in the post. Which I’d read ten seconds before.

    Also, I’m wondering if the bed sheet is looking good on her, to me, by virtue of NOT being the other dress.

  39. coexxi
    0

    I totally voted wrong because I didn’t know who is who. You guys confused me with your Nikki Reed thingy. Twilight the First made me nearly cry because it is so bad and pretentious and teenage love and strange light and stupid dialog (and I HAD to watch it, ok!).

    And yes I admit that I think the bedsheet is a little less worse than the dead bird but I voted for the bird!

  40. alecto
    0

    Aww, bedsheet looks so sad! Like she just realized that she left the house swathed in a high-quality tablecloth. (Her new hair color looks great, though.)

    And whoosit’s Ice Capades disaster is fantastic. Sure it’s extraordinarily unflattering (too short, blah color, and the feathers widen her shoulders), but I sort of love that she went full-costume for a premiere. But: bridesmaid shoes! Ew.

  41. Katie
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    I don’t know the difference between them either! A few weeks ago I was like, “Nikki Green? I think she’s in ‘Twilight.’” And I can’t even recognize them as from those movies when they have a tan.

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  43. La Zuzu
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    Yes, can’t tell them apart. I am having this problem a lot lately, like Hollywood is populated by ten white women, two black women, two Asian women, and one Latina, and they make up the difference with CGI duplicates of the actual people. And no, I am not talking about “we are all one”. This may be early dementia, or it may be the first stages of the Grand Unified Theory of Everything. Regardless, it is likely that Hollywood sexist/egocentric marketing (“I’d hit that, so that’s what we’re going to sell”) is beginning to implode.

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  47. Charlotte Callbrucker
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    I love them both and you are all idiots!
    Your a goth girl who just jelous of them get over that your fat and their skinny bitches.

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