Fug or Fab: Milla Jovovich


fug-or-fab

Apparently, this dress is tweed, the concept of which I enjoy.

In practice, though, I get a bit distracted by how it looks like a very old sea creature has ambled onto the mainland and slurped and usurped her flesh. See those two little cornets on her bustline? Eyes. The front ruffle? A frowny walrus-like mouth.
The back?

I don’t want to get into what the back makes me think of, so instead I’ll suggest that it’s like discovering that your brand-new all-weather camping parka unzips into a tarp.
So why am I putting it to a vote? Because all that amphibious imagery is making me afraid for my sanity, like maybe somebody snuck into my room at night and painted my much-gnawed thumbnails with hallucinogens. Have they done that on Days of our Lives yet? They should. 

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Comments (289):

  1. anny
    0

    A sea creature.
    In a corset.
    Towing an oil slick.

  2. geemee
    0

    This is straight-up fug (the back of it makes me dry heave), but I, too, love the fact that it is tweed.

  3. Sara
    0

    I totally saw the sea creature before reading your description. Wondering what that says about me and my sanity?

  4. Shaz
    0

    The little sea-sponge-roses near her breasts aren’t helping either

  5. Leah
    0

    The eyes! If you only hadn’t pointed out the eyes! Now it just looks like an octopus to me.

  6. Katharine
    0

    Unusual. Conceptual! Tweed!

    But seriously fug on a human body on the move. I don’t even see “sea creature”, I see “yards of tweed plus yards of shiny lining tied and strapped onto Milla in an ‘I wonder what this could look like’ kind of way.”

    But I have to admire her for looking cool as an, uh, sea-cucumber in this getup, which has to feel like a survival blanket.

  7. Wren
    0

    It looks like the designer ran out of fabric, and she forgot that his last words to her were “Whatever you do, don’t turn around near a camera!”

  8. Adrian
    0

    That is patently ridiculous. FUG FOR DAYS

  9. MARISA
    0

    WHY O WHY DO PEOPLE WHO ARE INCREDIBLY BEAUTIFUL WHERE GOWNS THAT LOOK LIKE MY GRANDMA MADE THEM OUT OFF HER GREAT-GREAT-GREATGRANDMOTHERS CURTAINS?!

  10. gigi
    0

    baaaaaaahd-ah-booom…

  11. Jennifer
    0

    The concept of tweed is indeed interesting, If you look at it close-up, it doesn’t look like tweed at all. Or is it just me?

  12. Sara C.
    0

    Is it just me, or does her dress look like the yep-yep aliens from sesame street?

    do an image search. I promise you won’t be disappointed.

  13. Pellinore
    0

    @Sara C. at 12:30 PM: Can’t unsee.

    It totally looks like a cross between an octopus and a sponge.

  14. Jen
    0

    It’s CTHULU! Lovecraft would be so pleased and disturbed.

  15. TonyG
    0

    I actually liked the front, but the back looks like a diaper Rorschach test.

  16. Carole
    0

    In what sense is this tweed? I’m with Jennifer on this, look at the close up, nothing like.

  17. MEP
    0

    The thing that breaks my heart is that this gown could have been GORGEOUS in another fabric. She looks beautiful from the cleavage up! Stupid dress.

  18. Sara
    0

    Tweed is really heavy. How is it staying up?

  19. vandalfan
    0

    I thought it couldn’t get worse from the front, and then you go and show us the back, Maidenform corset and all! It does not appear to be tweed (as I understand tweed, heavy British hunting jackets and all), but rather puckered light handkerchief material, itself very pretty but horribly abused here. Other websites show- get this- the thick black velvet lining of the skirt. Is this an homage to the BP disaster?

    I suppose the shock factor helps us overlook her truly awful hair and mismatched toenail polish.

  20. MN
    0

    It took me a few moments to see “sea creature” or even that there was tweed involved, but my first thought was “Little Prom on the Prairie” because I was sure at first glance that the front of this dress was calico.

    Theoretically, this would have been a stunning dress, but in practice it doesn’t work. The fabric is all wrong. Keep the colors but use something less… I don’t even know… use anything else, and it would be great.

  21. minerva
    0

    I’m beginning to think Milla doesn’t age. Maybe she’s actually Richard Alpert and can explain the ending of LOST?

    Who ever said the dress reminds them of a Yip-Yip, yes. Totally getting that vibe.

  22. Catherine
    0

    LOVE Milla Jovovich…the dress? Not loving it, but it’s definitely interesting. She kinda pulls it off…

    And the Yip-Yip thing? Totally.

  23. TLG
    0

    I’m so happy you mentioned the sea creature!
    The first thing I thought was this dress is the fabric interpretation of Davey Jones alá Pirates of the Caribbean.
    No seriously. Check it out: http://www.imdb.com/media/rm1224248576/tt0383574

  24. Gina
    0

    That’s not tweed. Look at the close-up.

    The fabric is actually very pretty, but there’s just TOO MUCH of it. If a dress can manage to make a tall drink of water like Milla look squat, it is definitely wrong.

  25. Regan
    0

    This is what I call “Good Idea, Poor Execution.”

  26. Anonymous
    0

    I gasped aloud when I read the “sea creature” bit. It was bad enough without the dress actually consuming her.

  27. Ranee
    0

    Anny, the first poster here got it right.

    “a sea creature.
    in a corset.
    towing an oil slick.”

    Too funny!

  28. evalyn
    0

    It might be tweed, it might be brocade, but for sure it’s another unfortunate “tangled in the draperies” incident. So sad, but becoming predictable.

  29. anne
    0

    She’d positively disappear in an Arts & Crafts parlor, that’s for sure. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. But Cannes?? in May??

  30. Delta Sierra
    0

    Kinda like the front, actually, to my own surprise, but the cornets are bad. The back of it looks like a sea serpent, and not in a good way.

  31. pinkcheese
    0

    I actually really like it, but I can see where the sea creature imagery is coming from. I think it looks more Ood-like, though.

  32. Megan
    0

    Yes, tweed is awesome, but not for a big foofy dress of this nature. It looks like a frumpy carpet sack that is pooping out a trash bag.

  33. Sandra
    0

    Why is Milla Jovovich wearing the upholstery from the couch my mother bought in 1981?

  34. jkl
    0

    Mila Rocks! Did you ever hear her sing? Check out the Mission by Puscifer.

  35. Emily
    0

    Unless google really dropped the ball when I searched, she’s not preggo, which is unfortunate because that was really the only excuse I could come up with.

    Hard to say which is worse, the ta-ta googly eyes or the brown smear cascading from her behind…

  36. will-smith-but-not-that-guy
    0

    Who made this fascinating gown? I think the design is stunning, I even like the color combination. But…it’s….TWEED? A whole heck of a lotta lotta lotta tweed…And this is Cannes….the South of France….in late May….er…ok. Tweed. Humidity. Well, I’m sure they paid her alot, and I hope they gave her some comfortable dresses for wearing this…who IS this designer, anyway? Somebody with an uncle who runs a shop on Jermyn Street and needed to get rid of alot of excess jodphur material?

  37. Anonymous
    0

    In theory, a tweed ballgown is awesome. But shouldn’t it be in November or something?

  38. amy Ressing
    0

    LOOVE the front. Back sucks.

  39. Ryan
    0

    I freaking love it. It looks like a project runway challenge in which they have to make a felt EMS blanket into a ballgown. In the most awesome way possible.

  40. Blanche
    0

    I love the idea of repurposing tweed, which is a great, highly underestimated fabric. Milla Jovovich is the most beautiful Euro-creature I have ever seen, plus her name is awesome, and I have a long-standing, very superficial crush on her. So you can plainly see how it only makes sense that she is enveloped here by a tweed and bronze lame’ octopus, which is also an amazing creature. However, I haven’t seen her in any movie since she played Lelu, the heart of the universe; and though I understand she was a model, I think that M. Jovovich needs a creative outlet other than clothes. Maybe she should run for Parliament somewhere? Somebody’s got to wrestle financial capital down and bring it to heel for the good of the world–and why not repurpose a tweed-swathed Jovovich to the task?

  41. anny
    0

    @Jen
    It IS Cthulhu! I can feel the madness descending even now …

  42. fseou
    0

    OMG, SOOO hot. Yesterday I saw a hot her video on ” B la ck BBW Cupid. C o m ” which is a bbw and bhm dating site. In this video she has a very hot sexy wear and a cool hairstyle.

  43. Pumpkin3.14
    0

    If anyone can pull sea creature couture, it’s Milla Jovovich.

    If you doubt this, imagine this dress on… Jennifer Aniston. Yeah, that’s what I thought.

  44. Bambi Anne Dear
    0

    I voted Fab but it’s not totally fab for me. I love the design and fall from the front although the colour/fabric is not all that I’d wish for. The back I’m a little ambivalent about. The colour I don’t mind, the sheen I don’t mind, I just think that it needs to spill out of a V split instead of just appearing out of the nude back. It almost looks as though a separate piece of fabric has been tucked in.

  45. Fuxyslot
    0

    The Cracken converting her defenseless torso into oil. Utterly hideous.

  46. Janellionaire
    0

    1. Put me down for one vote against that being tweed.

    2. My hair looked like that when I woke up today.

    3. It couldn’t look more like a giant octopus costume if it was on purpose.

    4. I would like it better if it was on purpose. And also if they had finished the back and not left her spanx bra thing showing.

  47. Sajorina
    0

    To me this dress looks like it’s made from the material they lay down on the floor before they install the carpet and the remnants of a shiny bronze used parachute… interesting, but not fabulous!

  48. executive training programs
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    Not sure what is worse, that she wore it … or that somebody made it in the first place.

  49. Anonymous
    0

    the tweed looks more like what you pull out of the lint trap in the dryer.

  50. miss_msry
    0

    I totally see the sea creature, but that is what makes me love this ensemble. FAB!

  51. MizWright
    0

    I am running with the idea that this is a conceptual allegory on the state of the Gulf of Mexico, and therefore a ringing couture indictment of BP.

    Yes?

  52. AlsoKT
    0

    I vote FAB.

    And I totally want an octopus gown.

  53. Leah M
    0

    I’m with the ‘this is not tweed’ camp. Tweed is thick wool, right? Thick, somewhat coarsely woven wool? I’m not seeing it. But my love for LiLu (multipass) makes me give the dress the benefit of the doubt and I can only say that Milla must be the Supreme Being if she can wear a 900 pound wool, velvet and tarp gown and keep her shoulders square.

  54. dee
    0

    It looks like the smushed lint blankets they give the homeless people in d.c.

  55. Liz
    0

    The new mascot for the BP oil spill.

  56. sdk
    0

    The front uncannily resembles those aliens from Sesame Street (yet I still kind of like it). The back grosses me out.

  57. It's not tweed
    0

    ITS NOT TWEED, just look at the close up it is a silk boucle…
    and it is HIDEOUS

  58. It's not tweed
    0

    ITS NOT TWEED, just look at the close up it is a silk boucle…
    and it is HIDEOUS

  59. PemiRobin
    0

    It reminds me of a dress that Lily ALlen wore last year here: http://www.redcarpet-fashionawards.com/category/blog/blog-designers/dolce-and-gabbana/page/14/

    Was it D&G?

  60. executive training
    0

    I love this dress and the whole look. Maybe she looks a bit older than she is in it but I think it’s ok, the outfit is gorgeous.

  61. mepe
    0

    First, I’m 99% sure this is not tweed…looks like more of a velvet brocade in the close up. Really, check it out in the full sized photo. Second, I totally agree with the “eyes” on the bodice. However, aside from the eyes I think it’s gloriously over the top and perfectly awesome for a European event. Plus she looks so happy and beautiful wearing it!

  62. Janice
    0

    Mila, Mila, Mila

    Scarlet O’Hara called and she wants her drapes back….

    Need I say more..

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  64. melissa
    0

    i don’t think that is tweed.

    and i am SO bummed that she got veneers. they look awful.

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