LEONARDO DICAPRIO: Hello. I’m Leonardo DiCaprio. Remember when I was like the Robert Pattinson of the late 90s? Boy, am I glad that’s over. Now I get to make artistically respected movies, and then people kind of forget I exist unless I’m out promoting one, which means I can go to the market without getting trampled by sobbing teens. That reminds me, one of these days I have to tell you about the time that I met Fug Girl Jessica at UCLA’s Spring Carnival, back in the day before Titanic, and how awesome I was to her roommate, who was in love with me at the time, and how this is the way Jessica ended up having a picture of me with her college roommate (we are wearing, coincidentally, matching tops) in her college scrapbook. Yeah. That’s right. I’m awesome.
MARION COTILLARD: I’m also awesome. I mean, no one involved in the making of this blog has ever met me to verify this, but…you know. I SEEM fabulous.
MARION: What are you insinuating?
LEO: I’m not sure about all of this that you’re wearing. It MIGHT be good. It might be weird. It might be weird, but good on YOU because, you know. The French thing helps.
MARION: That’s not very constructive criticism.
LEO: Yeah, it’s Friday. That’s as good as you get, babe.