I am confused and alarmed to report to you that, this WHOLE time, people were out there making a sequel to Nanny McPhee — that movie with Emma Thompson as the magical nanny who gets less hideous to the naked eye the more a family wants her but no longer needs her. Kind of like Mary Poppins but with boils, and a severe lack of jumping into sidewalk drawings and laughing one’s way to a ceiling tea party. For all I know, it’s an awesome series of movies — apparently it’s going to be a trilogy — but I was kind of freaked out by the makeup and the title of the movie is kind of annoying to me for reasons I can’t articulate, and I will only accept it the movie somehow also makes KATHARINE McPhee’s heinous blond hair gradually become more attractive.
Anyway. Equally confusing: Maggie Gyllenhaal is in the sequel, and to the premiere, she wore this:
This seems sort of regular. I tend not to adore the one-sleeved stuff, but this has a flattering shape to it, and I think the fact that Maggie’s shoulders are rather nicely toned lends the whole thing an air of wearability. Overall, it neither overwhelmed nor underwhelmed me. I was merely whelmed.
But what of that stuff on the side, which industry insiders refer to as “flappy hoo-ha”? Let’s investigate.
Aha. A peekaboo slip. While that creates a bit more interest, it also does this:
The frock has a weird shape when it moves, and suddenly inches itself toward Caftan Town (mayor: Dorothy Zbornak; population: Palm Beach, Florida). I like where it was going, but am deeply unsure of how it got there. Or is it the vice-versa? I feel like everyone in the background of this photo is thinking, “Hmm,” and, “I don’t…,” and “It’s…,” and the only time you ever want that last one in your life is if it’s uttered by a disheveled Michael Palin in a loin cloth and immediately followed by the theme song to Monty Python’s Flying Circus. If that all happened ten seconds from when this photo was taken, then I’ll loudly proclaim the outfit a hit. Until then, I’m mired in indecision and I need your helping hands.