Several people suggested, after our most recent fugging of Kristen Stewart, that we simply don’t get it, and that we are closing off our hearts to someone truly special. To which I say: Okay! Because, look, I can’t help my feelings, and they are: Until she stops acting surly all the time — or, to be fair, acting like she thinks she should be LOOKING surly all the time — then I will be hard-pressed to believe I am missing out on anything.
That said, my clothing-related issue with Kristen’s white BAFTAs dress
was that it was the wrong size. By a long-shot. It made her torso look like curdled milk. Clothes should not do that to a person. So I’ll say this, and hopefully this at least proves I can be unbiased about what she’s wearing: At this Elle
event, Kristen looks SO much better.
In fact, I rather like the dress itself, seeing as it’s unusual and it fits properly. The shoes, I could leave, and I really wish she’d gotten a pedicure (that’s just me, though — I love a dark painted toenail, inasmuch as anyone who hates feet can feel affection for toenails), and she still seems unsure of how to hold herself in public. Also, smile. It’s truly acceptable to act like you’re happy with your life and career. For real. Maybe the glum expression is just an ode to the black detail around her waist, which might be making her feel emotionally connected to perennial loser and fellow zig-zag aficionado Charlie Brown, who also has very little to smile about, considering that his best friend is a dog with superiority issues and a girl whose greatest joy in life is seeing him fall on his ass when he tries to kick a football.
But that’s neither here nor there, and I promise I will stop barking about her lack of enthusiasm (for as long as I can, anyway — I am a crabby old biddy, remember). The dress is such an improvement on the BAFTAs that I’m giving Kristen here a Fab vote.
Here’s a pre-BAFTAs outfit that hit the wires right as we were winging our way back from New York (and/or frantically Tweeting about Thursday night’s men’s figure skating and other Olympic shenanigans):
I don’t… HATE it, but it strikes me as one of those dubious tunics you pull off the rack at Express while saying, “Wait… is this a long shirt, or a short dress?” And then it turns out it doesn’t quite work as either. There’s also a faint whiff of loincloth about the bottom part. Imagine if she’d worn it to any of the Twilight events; Bella plus Eau d’ Loincloth plus either Jacob or Edward equals some seriously creepy fanfic.