Fug or Fab: Jessica Biel


I’m in a Summer Movie Pool, where we had to guess what would be the ten highest-grossing movies opening between Memorial Day and Labor Day, and it’s been my worst year ever — worse even than the first time I played, when — without much of a grasp of how much cash these movies have to make in order to be in the top ten — I put the Hilary Duff/Heather Locklear vehicle The Perfect Man on my list because at the time the kids loved Hilary and I actually thought people would be excited for Heather Locklear to be working (I have never lived this down, although it’s not as bad as the time my husband put Domino on his list, which did not even open during the summer; unbelievably, he is ALSO doing worse this year than he did that year). So far about half my selections have woefully underperformed, but perhaps none more so than The A Team, or as it’s known at the Spanish premieres, El Equipo A:

[Photo: WENN.com]

However, I’m still grateful for it, because during an unusually thin time of the summer, Jessica Biel is still out there promoting this thing. I can’t decide if this is slouchy-chic, or if she is being forced to attend these premieres against her will and spends most of her time imprisoned as a galley wench aboard a pirate ship, with nothing to do at night but use the spare sails and a tablecloth to fashion a fancy toga for parties. Perhaps that would make a better movie. Throw in Hilary Duff, and I just might put it on my list.

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Comments (62):

  1. Jess

    Haha I think she’s wearing Cameron Diaz’s dress from your Night Fug Day post but upside down! Now *that* is coming full circle with JT, ladies!

  2. Gigi

    It would have been more palatable with a side of Justin.

  3. Annabelle

    maybe fab if she had some strappy sandals on instead of heavy black pumps…maybe.

  4. Gigi

    It’s such an odd, misshapen dress with the mono sleeve and the black sash and the unseasonal black pumps. She’s a beautiful girl, so I don’t understand why she consistently shows up at premieres looking so…frumpy. Bright, summery colors would really suit her, I think.

  5. Currygirl

    As my friends often point out to me when I manage to look presentable…at least she combed her hair!

  6. kim

    I don’t get that bulge of white fabric above the belt. What is that? I thought it was kind of different until I noticed that. Now I think it was too long, so she bunched it up – not acceptable.

  7. Emily

    It reminds me of Ariel in the Little Mermaid when she washes up naked on the beach and has to tie some sails around her body to cover up. At least she has pretty hair and lips, though!

  8. kate

    I feel like this is very close to being really interesting. However, something just isn’t quite right… I’d like to see some more shots. Perhaps it looks better in person?

    I mean, it is nice to see a hot young starlet like herself not always showing up in painted on dresses, and I think I get what she was going for here.

    I think that dress could be pretty neat if belted a bit higher, lose that weird little lump of fabric right above the belt on the left side (what is that?), and the maybe tame that sleeve just a bit.

    Also, her hair looks clean, pretty, and soft in this pic, but a different style (away from her pretty face) might complement this dress better. Her makeup is very nice, and I’m okay with the shoes, but I think a peep toe might have been the way to go here (granted, I love a peep toe, so I always think they’re the way to go, haha).

    So close! A for effort = )

  9. CJ

    She is such a beautiful girl with a killer figure. This does absolutely nothing to flatter her. To be honest, I don’t even UNDERSTAND this dress, especially that sleeve. My only explanation is that Jessica’s young niece made this in Home Ec class, and even though she got a C+, blessed Aunt Jessie wore it to an event to boost her dear niecie’s self-esteem. Ah, that makes me feel better about the whole thing.

  10. andrea

    Didn’t she already wear something along these lines?


    This might even be the same dress, just rearranged.

  11. merciblahblah

    I KNEW you girls would fug or fab this one. I’m going to go against the tide and say I really, really like it. It’s different, and when you see her from the other side, it’s like a completely different dress. It’s two, two, TWO dresses in one!

    Seriously though – I think she looks better and better on the red carpet, and seems to be making interesting choices that like someone else said, are different than the same old bandage and/or origami dresses that I. Am. Getting. SICK of.


  12. Cassie

    You know, I was thisclose to saying it was fine, because I don’t have any problem with black and white and slouchy, per se.

    But then I took another look at it, and saw that sleeve again. Fug. There’s looking slouchy, and then there’s having a sleeve the size of Marlon Brando’s thigh. Biel’s prettier than this, and thus it is fug to me.

  13. mar

    hmmm… that’s weird. i remember that when the a team was on tv in latin america it was called “los magníficos” and not “el equipo a”… also weird? that dress.

  14. Anonymous

    Oh, honey,no. It’s like she has on two dresses and neither are working. (behold the black underskirt/leggings? WHY and what is going on there?)
    I wish she hadn’t tried to fashion her Caption JacK Sparrow retrospective from a black napkin and half a parachute.

  15. Rach

    At first I thought this was a comicon costume…does it not scream Luke Skywalker circa “The Empire Strikes Back”?

  16. H1

    I was close to vote “Fab” but then… that sleeve! FUG.

  17. Brooke

    Great idea, and otherwise lovely, but the puffiness of the sleeve ruins it.

  18. vandalfan

    The Sleeve of Doom ruins it for me. If there was just a tad less white linen fabric, with fewer folds and less bunching in front, with a sleeve-ectomy and strappy sandals, it might work. The length is nice and modest. I’m not sure about the lipstick color.

    “Equipo A” sounds delighful, if “A” is pronounced like Ah!

  19. Sandra

    Ick! When people say “she’s so pretty she could wear a sack and still look great” they don’t mean she should actually *do* it! Because it turns out that nobody is that pretty. (not knocking JB’s looks; she’s a lovely young woman)

  20. Anika

    Isn’t this the second dress she’s worn to look like a napkin at a 5 star restaurant? WHY would someone choose that to be their signature look?!

  21. lelo

    Honestly? I don’t get the allure of J. Beil… and this dress isn’t helping matters.

  22. DIANE

    Looks like she donned a black pencil skirt and then decided she’d wear a tablecloth up on top and belt it with a black sash. Hey Jessica, you may be beautiful, but an ugly outfit is still an ugly outfit.

  23. Anonymous

    I dig the hair; she’s pretty. I DO like the shoes, but I think they should be worn with pants. The outfit? What the hell was she thinking?

  24. carrieparker

    Seriously, I don’t understand why anyone thinks she’s anything but a big ol’ bunch of boring. So in that respect, the dress fits.
    But in another very real sense it does not fit. What is with that bunchy wad at the waist? And and I don’t even know how you get Sleeve to BEHAVE like that. Maybe she has a tiny fan in there with the dual purpose of making the sleeves do that whilst also cooling her armpits?
    So many questions.

  25. Cecily

    This dress would be super handy at the farmers market, as I have produce bags that look just like it! Fug.

  26. Kitty

    I guess I must be drinking the Kool-Aid today because I’m again in the minority in loving this look on her.
    I think the dress is cool and her hair looks great!

  27. kerry

    Might be ok without the sleeve.

  28. Lori Beth

    I fabbed this because Jessica Biel is wearing it out in public and it is not ridiculously revealing, ergo it is obviously expensive and I could wear it to my office after I’ve had one too many sandwiches.

  29. sge

    before i vote (hovering between fine and fug) i need to find out if this is a one sleeve or if there is a matching poof on the other side. i’m not sure which way that knowledge will sway me, but i feel i need to see the whole thing before this very important decision is made.

  30. witjunkie

    My friend Ann and I would play for hours with our Barbies making clothes for them from my mom’s fabric scraps, and hair elastics. I really am bitter now that I didn’t parlay that skill into a career making overpriced clothes for celebrities.

  31. justme

    did she hike up her skirt and tuck it into her belt?

    did her sleeve get caught on something behind her as she walked through a cloud of spray starch?

    where can I find those shoes (because seriously, they’re awesome)?

    so many questions…

  32. Sajorina

    OMG, look at that face and that hair… she’s so beautiful it makes me weep! And, I think the dress is fine, at least it’s interesting, but WHY didn’t she get rid of that stupid puffy sleeve?

  33. LostKG

    The hair, the smile, the face – GREaaaaaTTTT. Clothes could be worse.

  34. Jenny

    Please keep fugging stars who show up at their movie premieres in foreign countries. I’m so amused by the title translations.

    I’ll agree with the previous commenter who said she looked like Ariel washed up on the beach. I’ll go one further to say she look’s like the Project Runway interpretation of Ariel washed up on the beach.

  35. jduck

    Does this remind anyone else of Ariel’s outfit she cobbles together after she gets her new legs in The Little Mermaid?

  36. Jojo

    No, it’s fab! Drapes well around her and the black and cream works very nicely. I like a bit of drapey, me, there’s nothing wrong with keeping the good stuff under wraps!

  37. Jules

    Man, today’s fugs are really bringing back memories from high school.
    First my old prom dress, and now, my friends’s project for spanish class, which was a video version of the A-Team in spanish, called “El Equipo A!” (Huh!)

    Anyway, that’s a lot of cloth for summer, even if we aren’t really having one here in socal.

    I like her hair and makeup. It’s kinda Heart.

  38. TonyG

    Fug. I like the idea of the cut and how the black and white material interact, but there’s the material is oh so…terribly teri-cloth towel-ly.

  39. abby

    remember that scene in The Little Mermaid where Ariel washes up on shore naked and clothes herself with the ripped sails of a sunken ship? yeah… me too.

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