Fug or Fab: Angelina Jolie


fug-or-fab

Forget the rumors of their crazy loud sex life, or whether or not their twins are secretly being raised by wood nymphs or whatever dumb-ass rumor the rags are pushing this week:

What I really want to know is, is there something about being in a long-term, committed relationship with Brad Pitt that renders you incapable of wearing color more than once every six years or so? First Aniston, and now Jolie — Juliette Lewis and Gwynnie best be thanking their lucky stars that the alignment of the planets was such that they’re still allowed to wear blue on consecutive days. 

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Comments (97):

  1. Electric Landlady
    0

    At least it’s not a muumuu? The hair is throwing me a bit.

  2. maggie
    0

    If only the shoes didn’t match. (Didn’t match the dress, I mean. Not each other.)

  3. TLG
    0

    Because of its sparkle, I think if the dress were in a color it would look like a costume from some by-gone 1960′s Broadway musical.
    Sure, I’d love it if the shoes did not match the color of the dress, however both are wicked cute so I can overlook it.
    Stellar look on the whole.

  4. Nerd Girl
    0

    So. Sick. Of. AJ.

  5. Jill
    0

    I really really want to see Christina Hendricks or even Jessica Simpson in that dress. It’s pretty, but it somehow brings out the praying mantis in Angelina.

  6. Chasmosaur
    0

    I don’t like the caftan vibe she’s been rocking the past few years – mostly because I think it looks sloppy – but I think there’s something refreshing about a major A-list female star who doesn’t feel the need to pour herself into yet another Herve Leger bandage dress to remind us that she’s got gorgeous, genetic-jackpot figure. And she has this figure after bearing twins.

    And in this dress, it looks like she could eat something if she wanted to, and that she won’t have the seams of the dress imprinted on her skin when she takes it off. So bully for her for being relatively comfortable while a healthy chunk of the globe scrutinizes her.

    It’s not exciting, granted, but why on earth does every outfit have to be fashion forward? Can’t they just fit well and be flattering? Her hair is a little matronly, granted, but it’s not sloppy or too-too. Her makeup is great, it looks like she’s been in the same ZIP code as a sandwich lately, and I wish I had either her calves or her cleavage.

  7. clwho
    0

    I think the hair is throwing me off, too. There’s something matronly about the hair – I might upgrade from “miss” to “zzz” if she’d gone with the flowing tresses.

    Or maybe it just looks sort of unfinished? I feel like an accessory would help – jewelry, a bag with some color, something?

  8. reina
    0

    She looks fabulous!

  9. Carolina Girl
    0

    I think this dress would be so much cuter if it were accessorized with a double bacon cheeseburger, large fries with ketchup and a chocolate milkshake topped off with whipped cream.

  10. Holly
    0

    Her hair has been bothering me for a while now. I liked it better when it was a darker chestnut/black, rather than this kind of mousy brown. That plus the bangs and the fact that she always seems to have it piled haphazardly on top of her head just comes across as sloppy to me.
    I think this dress would’ve been a win for me (I especially love the non-matching straps, they make things interesting) except that I can’t get past her hair.

  11. The Other Molly
    0

    The dress is boring.
    The shoes are boring.
    The hair is boring.
    SALT is stupid.
    Can she PLEASE go to some 3rd world country for a LONG time?

  12. Barbara
    0

    @Jill had it spot-on!
    I’d rather see someone real curvy in that dress than someone who resembles a supersexy woman many of us used to have a girl-crush on.

  13. Breda
    0

    I think this dress is gorgeous and I think we’d all be saying that if it weren’t for the fact that it’s yet another non-color. Taken on its own, it’s beautiful; seen as part of a trend on her part, it’s boring.

  14. Dana
    0

    It’s an improvement, to say the least. But WAIT. Did you see THIS??????

    OMG.

    http://nscfashionnetwork.blogspot.com/2010/08/salt-photocall-in-berlin.html

  15. Blanche
    0

    BPitt’s top-notch Hegemonic American Masculinity performance results in him being marketed as the King of America. Correspondingly his mate, currently AJolie, is marketed as the Queen of America. Then the tabloids can make some money perpetuating the controversy of whether her or someone else’s femininity best represents ideal American femininity. That never gets boring.

    Obviously, even the best femininity in America is always subordinate, and therefore more iffy than the uber-masculinity, so it has to be reinforced with somebody’s random idea of goddess-queen styling. Of course that’s a confused mishmosh of boring and sexy and matronly and skinny. Until we rather rudely reject cultural feudalism, this is the semi-weird styling balancing act we’re served. AJolie’s handlers did listen to you about the caftan overdose, though.

  16. Cathy in NH
    0

    I just want to know where her legs went. They’re like toothpicks for goodness’ sake. She can’t kick anyone’s ass with toothpicks for legs.

    @Dana – That dress is gorgeous! Why can’t we see that one?

  17. Sara
    0

    Those shoes look like the dye to match bridal shoes I wore when I got married. And that’s not a compliment.

  18. TonyG
    0

    @Dana Thanks for the link, and, OMG indeed! Form fitting, blue, ruffles… She looks GREAT(!)

  19. Anonymous
    0

    I think the hair is throwing me. Granted…I don’t love the dress but it fits her. It seems a little ice skater..not really jolie’s style but it would do. The hair is just meh on her.

  20. jill
    0

    I just can’t get on board with the material. It looks like that packing foam/wrap that goes around Christmas ornaments.

  21. Ranee
    0

    What Chasmosaur said times 100.

  22. Emily
    0

    I think it looks like a really pretty nightie. Maybe it’s the shine?

  23. Rayna
    0

    I like the hair – this updo looks sophisticated but still softish.

    Dress is fine – actually if you had made THIS dress out of the other day’s quasicaftan material, it would be great.

    And, how refreshing! One CAN look sexy without giving away the store.

    @Chasmosaur – what you said.

    @Carolina Girl – what DOESN’T look cuter accessorized with a double bacon cheeseburger, etc.?

  24. Eve
    0

    I like the dress, though with this hair it seems like too much of one style.
    But mainly I am distracted by the bones that are her arms and legs. Lovely bones, no doubt, but bones.

  25. ames
    0

    Things that happen to women after dating/sleeping with Brad Pitt:

    a. Inability to wear color
    b. Super skinny within months.

    Angie’s got muscle, but I swear – Gwyneth, Jennifer, and Angie all got SKINNY while dating him. I think the only thing keeping Angie from going the stick route is her current status as the only female action star who can DO the action.

  26. hee
    0

    @Blanche

    lol how’s that feminism 101 class coming along?

  27. Sandra
    0

    Damn! Doesn’t this woman own any clothes? Yesterday she was wearing the curtains and today she’s out and about in her slip. Though I suppose with six kids, maybe she’s just too dang tired to care.

  28. Lizzie
    0

    You know,she’s a really pretty girl, but she should consider rotating a few cupcakes or sandwiches into her diet. Seriously.

  29. Share
    0

    She looks really beautiful. I love this so much more than the flowy shapeless muu muus she has been sporting lately. It’s simple; it uses asymetricality in a tasteful way; it’s flattering.

  30. Katie
    0

    Pretty dress, but it needs another ten pounds of body to fill it out. Maybe that’s why she’s been wearing the caftans?

  31. cmb
    0

    i agree, it’s the hair that could have made it. give us some rocking tousled waves and we could have been HAPPY instead of just glad it wasn’t the last … THING she wore.

  32. Bella
    0

    She looks like the too-young, kinda sleezy mother of the bride.

  33. christine christine
    0

    Some people are skinny and some people are fat, we don’t tell the curvier ones to lay off the cheeseburgers so we should quit telling the skinny ones to start chowing down. Genetics is genetics!

    Anyway…I like the top have of A.Jo’s dress, love the fabric, and I like her hair color. Not so sure about the bangs or shoes but I think gorgeous face aside, she’s done better than most of us when faced with a formal event!

  34. Blanche
    0

    @ Hee. I know. But I get bored with AJo and I revert to thinking about other things. People should feel lucky to be so mentally focused as to be able to comment on her staid, attractive outfits and her needing a sandwich all the time.

  35. Robin
    0

    This outfit, while not egregious, just does not do it for me. What with the bedhead updo and sparkly slipdress, she looks like she is starring in the broadway version of Neverland2: Peter and Wendy Get it On.

  36. Rachel
    0

    Love the dress but the shoes ruin the outfit for me. They are giving me flashbacks – me as a bridesmaid, dyed-to-match shoes, some vodka tonics and an unfortunate incident on the dance floor but that’s my personal cross to bear.
    Colour – it’s a right, exercise it.

  37. concerned
    0

    TOO EFFING SKINNY! EEK, LOOK AT THOSE GAMS! PLEASE, ANGIE, THE KIDS NEED YOU– DON’T STARVE YOURSELF TO DEATH!!!

  38. Jane
    0

    On one hand, this is a pretty dress, and it’s flattering on her.

    On the other hand, coupled with the hair and the shoes she looks like she’s a bridesmaid at some wedding reception. Or a wedding guest. Or a mother of the bride.

  39. Katharine
    0

    For Jolie, this is actually branching out, isn’t it? BB (Before Brad) I thought her typical look was Hollywood Tough Girl, all wanna-be dangerous head to toe black, bad tattoos and blood vials. If she’s willing to broaden her spectrum across the greyscale, I’d call it a plus.

  40. The Moonay
    0

    She used to be able to carry light and metal colors so well. What happened ffs?

  41. Lunita
    0

    I hate to be so critical but come on, it’s Angelina. Surely she can afford to get a dress that fits perfectly, and maybe have her hair done so that she doesn’t look all matronly. Right? What I hate most though is the heels are a different sheen and color than the dress (fitted nightgown?).

  42. Sunnie
    0

    For the love of cheese, woman! Get a new hair-do. Those bangs are atrocious! Please. I’ll babysit the kids (and Brad) while you get it done! Come on!

  43. testington
    0

    I kinda dig this, it is simply and she doesn’t look overly done. Also, she just wore that pink/silver caftan and you posted on it yesterday.

    @Blanche, I HOPE that was a joke, cause otherwise you must give me the name of your dealer.

    @Ames – Gwyneth and Juliette Lewis were always super skinny. But many articles say Angie lost weight when her mom died and she stopped eating because she was depressed. Jen isnt interesting enough to follow her weight patterns don’t know when she was skinniest.

  44. britt
    0

    Is it just me, or is Ange rocking a wig these days? It’s no bueno.

  45. Lauralee
    0

    Well…comments are heated out there today and i will probably live to regret this but I still like A.J.and think this dress is great…I guess my only kvetch is that the caftan thingies from the past couple of days are multiplying and I fear we will see them again soon…maybe Angie just needs a bit of encouragement in order to fly free of the many layers of fabric and continue on her well-fitting-dresses-with-or-without-color kick….

  46. Sarah
    0

    “I think this dress would be so much cuter if it were accessorized with a double bacon cheeseburger, large fries with ketchup and a chocolate milkshake topped off with whipped cream.”

    What she said!!!

  47. Katharine
    0

    THAT’S what it is! Am I seeing things, or is this hairstyle vaguely Palin-esque? (Or maybe that should be Palin-ecccchhh.)

  48. Rose
    0

    If her hair had gone just a leetle wilder, I think it would be a great contrast to classy understatedness of the dress. I do like it up, but it needs to be just a hair (pun not intended) more funky and a tad less Palin-esque (as Katharine pointed out).

    The shoes…hmm. I like the monochromatic thing, but maybe they should be like a shade darker so they’re not so matchy?

  49. exquisite red
    0

    That same updo again? Well, she does have a bazillion kids, so I guess she’s entitled to look like a old matron sometimes…

    I agree with some of the posters above that this look needs to be accessorized with lots & lots of fast food. She looks so frail. Let’s get the baby factory going again, but this time keep some of the weight afterwards! I’d rather see that than more of her movies (since she only does 2 genres: drama feauturing crazy woman & action, zzzzzzzzz).

    Honestly, dress isn’t even that bad…just would look better on someone else. Or a less skeletal Angie without the bad updo. And without bridesmaid shoes.

  50. Liz
    0

    For everyone that said Angelina Jolie should eat a hamburger- please post a picture of yourself in a similar dress so that we can scrutinize and condemn your calves/arms/bangs. I’m in need of a laugh.

    Personally I find this nonchalant and lovely.

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  52. Bambi Anne Dear
    0

    OK, so her legs are too skinny. And her arms. But for a non-colour look she looks fantastic. Her eyes are a focal point so the whole thing isn’t washed out. Shoes are brilliant, hair gorgeous. I love it.

  53. mimi
    0

    I’m not quite sure why, but I feel like this would look better full length. And that hair is definitely a miss. She’s been having headsuit issues of late.

  54. Eve
    0

    Will someone please for the mother of god shove a sandwich into this woman?

  55. Smaug
    0

    Ok, this woman is mind-numbingly gorgeous. She’ll look good in a proverbial sack.

  56. melanie
    0

    I wish that she would eat something again AND that we would stop talking about her for awhile. If she shows up in something really interesting, let’s talk about that. But we don’t need to talk about her every time she appears in public wearing something boring or ordinary. It’s not like if she doesn’t appear on this blog for a couple weeks any of us are going to think “Hmm, haven’t seen Angelina Jolie in awhile…”

  57. Gina
    0

    She’s too thin. Pretty face but Crypt Keeper body.

  58. mepe
    0

    Really tired of AJ and don’t care what she wears anymore…none of it is interesting (good or bad). That being said it looks like she’s shape shifting (once again) and going from best mommy/hottest (actor) husband in the world to politician. I wonder how long before she dumps brad and starts up with a congressman or senator. Hey if Palin can do why not AJ??
    bad girl -> mommy of 10 kids -> politician?

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