Fug the Show: The Voice, episode something

There is just something really poetic about a man in a hat with chains on it relentlessly cuddling his cat. I keep expecting one of these interviews ending in the cat offering an opinion, possibly in Liza Minnelli’s voice. Just because. Also: bonus Bieber (if such a thing is considered a bonus) and Christina in a spandex diaper.

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Comments (26):

  1. Emily

    Oh thank goodness. I too had a heart attack when I saw the clip from the Bieber video. It was like porn for pedophiles or something. Very grossed out.

  2. Chasmosaur

    Thank you for the serial-killer hand transplant mention. I did love Angel, so.


    • China

      Ha, I immediately thought of Angel, too. “You gave me a killer hand!”

    • eee

      Chasmosaur, you are quickly becoming my favorite commenter in Fug Nation. Thank you for referencing the Evil Hand.

    • Beth

      Oh, that Jewel song always made me laugh/cringe. Thank you, GFY, for the flashback–actually, I take that back, because now that small hand song is stuck in my head.

    • Shanti

      YES! Evil hand issues! I was hoping someone else thought of that…

  3. Donna

    In the first, distant shot of Christina performing, I thought it was a pregnant contestant, and I was all, “Good for her!” You know, not everyone can rock spandex knickers, and that’s OK.

  4. pinkcheese

    A fetus? Dude is barely a ZYGOTE. Soooooo squicky.

  5. Carolina Girl

    I have never seen this show, so I have a lot of unanswered questions:
    1. Is CeeLo trying to look like a black Dr. Evil?

    2. Doesn’t Christina Aguilera pay her people enough? Why do they let her go on stage dressed like that? She’s not really “fat” but she’s not thin enough to look good in that outfit.

    3. Is it just me, or does Bieber really look like a girl in that close up picture? I must be getting old because I just don’t see the sex appeal of that boy. Zac Efron, yes. Justin Bieber, Hell to the No.

  6. theotherjennifer

    CeLo has those little tiny hands…creepy.

    is Bieber sexing up one of those chicks from the George Michael “Sex” video?? Even from here she looks 20 years too old for him. Grosssssss.

  7. MelissaW

    I watch the Voice RELIGIOUSLY and I totally surprised that you haven’t commented on CeeLo’s red, fringed jumpsuit and creeper wig from a few weeks ago. It was hysterical.

    And Adam’s been looking like Forrest Gump (Blake looks like he usually does, thank God he kicked the mullet habit years ago).

    Xtina is leaps and bounds ahead of last season (yikes). I think her major problem right now is acknowledging that she had a kid and her body has changed. The bustier portion of the performance outfit wouldn’t have been so bad if it was actually in her size as opposed to two sizes too small. And she could have gone with a flirty skirt because the bloomers/spanky pants only work for swimsuit models, not those of use who have “womanly thighs”.

    And the Bieb. I laughed myself silly over Carson’s forced bonhamie. And then almost puked to death over the clip. Ugh and yikes. (Sadly, the Bieb is going to “perform” live in about two weeks on the show). I would seriously not survive in the music/film industry with my opinions because CLEARLY I am not the target audience of anything anymore.

  8. mary lou bethune

    Do you all think that Justin B looks like he is trying way way too hard to look like a sexy grown man? I think he should just stop- it’s embarrassing….
    The whole show looks like an embarrassment.. ridiculously overdone for a bunch of mediocre talents, including the hosts, expect for Celo who is of course incredible.

  9. GFY Heather
  10. Sandra

    Dear Universe,

    Please, PLEASE give an episode of The Voice entitled The Cat Speaks. I’d like to say that in return we would never ask for anything ever again, but we both know that isn’t true. But we would be really, really stoked!


  11. vandalfan

    And now y’all know how I feel when you gush about Pacey, or Zac Efron, or that youngster David Cassidy.

  12. Sajorina

    I love Adam Levine & I love cats, but I’m glad I quit “The Voice” after the 1st season!

  13. Scanderoon

    Between the unwelcome Bieber closeups and the “GIRL I’M’A LAY YOU DOOOOOWN,” I was chuckling in terror.

  14. Ms.A

    Xtina. Please wear pants.

  15. yeahandalso

    Christina did look good in the upper right, and like her old self! I hope she is doing better now, she was a mess for most of 2011

  16. TonyG

    I want to puke after seeing those last two slides.

  17. Kate

    I was so disappointed to find out that is not actually Cee Lo’s cat. He rents it for the show.

    • Sandra

      Wow, that’s a whole ‘nother career that would never have occurred to me: proprietress of a cat rental agency.

      Actually, I can’t quite even believe that I just used the words “cat”, “rental”, and “agency” in reference to one another. I’m going to go lie down now.

  18. Knittyjami

    Thanks for keeping it classy in regards to Xtina! She looked totally crazeballs but the internet firestorm about her weight is completely inappropriate.

  19. Isabella

    haha at Carolina Girl: is he trying to look like DR evil.
    very funny