Fug the Show: Secret Circle


This isn’t a full Fug The Show, and in fact, it’s an episode that aired around Halloween, so it’s a tad old. But I accidentally deleted it from my DVR and kept forgetting to go look up the screen grabs. Be grateful for the holiday lull, if you are the type of person who enjoys being aghast, because this shirt will do it for you. This shirt. THIS SHIRT.

Meet Faye, aka Phoebe Tonkin. She is the Mischievous Witch in the coven, and the one who always wants to use their magic for mischief, and makes this face at people a lot because she’s panting sarcastic or suggestive retorts in their faces. Frankly, I don’t really remember anything else that’s happening on this show except that (stop reading if you still haven’t watched the fall finale from six weeks ago) the blonde one is apparently descended from Ultimate Evil so she’s probably going to get tickled by the nasty bug. But that’s beside the point. In this episode, the girls were shopping for Halloween costumes. And it seems like maybe they’re just regular witches having a regular old close-talking squabble about boys and parties, right? Until we saw this:

I seriously looked up at my computer in this moment and thought she was already in costume as some kind of combination between a deity and Charo. It had to be, right? She was just trying on an outfit. Right?

WRONG. SHE WENT SHOPPING IN THAT SHIRT.

If you can call that a shirt. I don’t. If a shirt has no sleeves AND no back, is it really a shirt? I call it a sling. It’s a bra cloth. A breast necklace — so, breastlace, then, I guess). Can you imagine how the actress felt when she showed up in wardrobe and they handed her a pair of pants and something she could ball up and hide inside her clenched fist? Well, her first thought was probably, “Thank God I go to the gym,” but after that I suspect she may have wondered what the hell kind of weather Chance Harbor, Washington, was having that allowed her to wear somebody’s tribal headdress as a nipple napkin. Maybe when you’re a witch you are impervious to temperatures below 85 degrees. This may explain a lot about several contestants on various seasons of The Bachelor. Oh, Secret Circle. I don’t remember your plot and sometimes I forget to watch you entirely, but if you keep this up, I may have to visit you on the regular.

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Comments (56):

  1. Sal
    0

    Reminds me of something Christina Aguilera wore sometime during her Stripped faze. It had even less material. It really was a breast sling.

  2. Al
    0

    I don’t watch this show. It’s about witches, right? Is she under some sort of shirt-repelling spell?

  3. Dazie
    0

    Hermione would NEVER be caught wearing a breastlace. Nor would Samantha Stevens.

    • coexxi
      0

      Neither would Willow.

      The Charmed girls… they would have worn this. Especially. “Shannon/Brenda/cant’t remember-her-name-on-the show-sister” and “Rose/the-new-sister” oh, also “Sam/Phoebe/don’t-know-her-real-name-and-to-lazy-for-for-imdb-oh-Alyssa-I-remember-now-sister”. Basically all of them. The forth one sure also wore wacky breastfashion.

      OMG…. you have to google in pics: Shannen Doherty Charmed! I found a homepage which features the shirt I had in mind writing this post but you have to scroll down a little bit to get to Shannon. It is a geometrical sister of the breastlace.
      http://members.aon.at/cmoser19/HPseiten/schauspieler.htm

      • steph527
        0

        Thx Coexxi! I think shannon’s shirt (if you could call it that) at least tied in the back. This looks like a necklace with no shirt. Crazzzy

  4. Karen
    0

    I watched this episode in a little marathon earlier this week and when I saw that outfit I LITERALLY thought of you sweet Fug Girls IMMEDIATELY. At first I was hoping against hope that it was over a nude-colored bodysuit…or that it had a BACK. But my hopes were dashed. I can’t even figure out how it stays in place.

    I’m not 100% convinced that Faye DID go shopping in it–as they’re getting ready to leave she says she has to change out of that outfit, and I’m thinking that doesn’t apply simply to taking off a headdress. But that doesn’t excuse it.

    I hope you DO do a full Fug the Show. The clothes–and the plot–are trippy. And I also thought about you in the episode with the big charity dance, because I thought the red dress the blonde wore was cute on her, although I wasn’t completely on-board with the dress itself. The blonde has….limited emotional range, so it’s good when they put her in nice clothes.

    • Annalyce
      0

      I think you’re right about her not shopping in it – and you are DEFINITELY right about it still not excusing it!!

  5. Stefanie
    0

    Oh my. A boob sling. Yeah, that’s a boob sling.

    And I mean really, what the hell kinda costume director pulls that thing out and it like “OMG! This is totally appropriate for a TV show about teenage girls that is marketed to girls under the age of 17.” She must have then been like, “OH! HARK! WHERES MY NEWEST ISSUE OF COSMO?!”

    Seriously.

  6. Lupe
    0

    And I doubted when you said THIS SHIRT.

    Shame on me because that is unbelievable.

  7. AJ
    0

    She looks insane. The pants/booblace combo does NOT work. Though I’m not sure what would you could wear with a booblace to look less crazy.

  8. laurie
    0

    It’s a breast merkin

  9. Alix
    0

    I thought, well this must be the wrong pic, because I don’t even think she’s wearing a — OH MY GOD!

  10. Cassie
    0

    Everything I see about this show makes me cry in my heart. The books it’s based on were GOOD, and I loved them and was writing a screenplay based on them. And now the CW happens.

    But, speaking from the viewpoint of having read the books . . . Faye would have worn that. But she’d have worn a cardigan over it until she had some boy in her clutches.

  11. pinkcheese
    0

    The coeds here at the (PAC 12, if that tells you anything) university where I work would totally wear that to class. I mentioned in another post the gal I saw today wearing solely a pair of camel colored sweater tights and a waist-length camisole. Oh, and a pair of uggs, so her feet would be warm, but nothing else. It was as if she started getting dressed, but got distracted after putting on her underthings, and just went off to class.

    • Sandra
      0

      I bet I can guess which PAC-12 school you DON”T work at ! .

    • AndSoISys
      0

      I used to work a university (PAC 12, in the desert) where they would wear stuff like this all the time. Almost always with UGGs. Boob sling and leggings – check. Sheer sundress with nothing under it – check. XL tank top, no bra, and self made denim skirt that almost covered her bum – check. Scarf made into a wrap “shirt” with hotpants – check. All with UGGs and all in the computer lab.

  12. Katie Lynn
    0

    I will say that from my recollections of that show (WHAT?! Don’t judge me! I know it’s awful!) She was actually wearing some sort of antique necklace she had found in the shop. Because the blonde one comments on her disrespecting the culture of wherever it came from. Also, when they were in the car she was wearing something else.
    Plus Faye apparently has magic boobies. She always seems to have her bra hanging out of her shirt when she is going to school (WHICH WOULD NEVER BE ALLOWED) and her MOM IS THE PRINCIPAL!

    • Heather
      0

      Well, that’ll teach me to pay attention. I thought Cassie was just talking about the headdress Faye was wearing. STILL. WHAT. NOT A SHIRT. NOT EVEN WORTH IT to make a joke about disrespecting a culture. CRAZEBALLS.

  13. merkin4
    0

    Similar “outfit” worn by Keira Knightly in “Bend It Like Beckham”.

    • coexxi
      0

      Yes I remember…. the golden one in the club.

      When I was in Manchester last year in WINTER I once again realized quite a lot of the Brit girls have really aggressive styling when they go out. And no coats. And it is freezing. And their outfits are tiny. Other people might wear shawls and gloves. And they wear summer shoes…. . And it is really cold!

      • The Other Katherine
        0

        I know! It’s insane. Especially up in the frozen north in Edinburgh and Glasgow. I look at their tiny clothes and their sky-high-heeled shoes on Hogmanay, and all I can think is how much cold and pain they must be experiencing. WTF? A booblace in LA makes a lot more sense.

    • Heather
      0

      That’s RIGHT. I just watched that on my sickbed and had the same thought, and then promptly forgot about it.

      • Minutiae
        0

        But didn’t Keira’s have a strap across the back? This thing looks like it’s just glued on her, like something Bai Ling would wear in her most drunken days.

      • Katie Lynn
        0

        Keira’s most definitely does NOT have a back strap. I just watched that over new year’s, and every time I am amazed that it doesn’t fall off while she is dancing.

      • yeahandalso
        0

        Um Kiera’s must have had a back or something, she simply doesn’t have large enough breasts to wear whatever this monstrosity is.

  14. Audrey
    0

    I call that a baby napkin.

  15. GFY Heather
    0

    Well, that’ll teach me to pay attention. I thought she was just talking about the headdress she was wearing. STILL. WHAT. NOT A SHIRT. NOT EVEN WORTH IT to make a joke about disrespecting a culture. CRAZEBALLS.

  16. JillB
    0

    Boob Snood

  17. laura
    0

    THAT IS NOT A SHIRT!!!!!

  18. Bianca
    0

    This is what happens to me when I put a shirt over my head before I put my arms in the sleeves! Then I try to see how quickly I’d have to move before the breastlace shifts and shows my lady lumps.

    Sometimes I walk so delicately I think “I could definitely wear this in public” Obviously this lady had the same thoughts.

  19. Anissa
    0

    As others stated it was a necklace she found in the shop and tested as a costume. But it even made an interview she did ;)
    http://www.eonline.com/news/watch_with_kristin/2011_breakout_tv_stars_secret_circles/283104

  20. pmk
    0

    I thought she had a hobo bag slung around her neck.

  21. yeahandalso
    0

    well in her defense she was the least dull and or annoying character in the pilot. But really that’s all I can say to defend this, either the actress is begging to show off her bod or the wardrobe people hate her…given my experience on sets the wardrobe people hate her because the wardrobe people are usually the meanest people on any given set.

  22. vandalfan
    0

    As the boys said in Jr. Hi, an over the shoulder boulder holder. Or perhaps boob snood?

  23. vandalfan
    0

    That will teach me to put aside a post to answer the phone. Jinx, JillB!

  24. angelwhip
    0

    That show also has quite the push-up bra budget. All of the girls always have their boobs pushed up to there.

  25. andnowyoutellme
    0

    Am I the only person wondering where the industrial strength tit-tape is hidden in this ensemble?

  26. Sabrina
    0

    The actress actually did an interview about this necklace (which is what I believe it actually is)- it is linked a few posts up. Apparently, she was not crazy about the idea and was out doing sit-ups in the parking lot.

  27. Amelia
    0

    Dear God in Heaven, Please don’t tell me this portends the return of the ’90s bare midriff shirts. I can take the flannel and even the low-rise jeans, just, anything but those.

  28. Krusticle
    0

    Nipple Napkin is the name of my new indie band.

  29. I WatchThis Show
    0

    Sadly, I watch secret circle, and in fairness that’s actually just a necklace from the store that she tried on there as a joke… and then they made her wear it for that whole scene! I don’t actually think she was serious? haha. they were looking for halloween decorations for a party that night and she put that on.

  30. I saw this too
    0

    The truth is, like a few people have said, that she didn’t go shopping in this. What really happened is so much more insane! She went into what is kind of an antique store GOT HALF NAKED and then put on a necklace or whatever and paraded around the store in it without her clothes on! And no one stopped her!

  31. Ashleigh
    0

    Phoebe Tonkin used to be on a show here in Australia called H2O: Just Add Water. It was about mermaids, and it was pretty amazing. So I think she’s pretty used to playing a semi-naked character.

    Also on that show was Claire Holt who was Samara on Pretty Little Liars. I know it’s unrelated but I’m a little proud to see some Aussies making it overseas :)

  32. marcia
    0

    Keira’s had a back strap–it was a little skinny strap, but she had one: http://www.keiraknightley.net/gallery/showphoto.php/photo/46170/size/big/cat/1253/limit/views

  33. Caroleena Stantonova
    0

    I want to be a mischievous witch! Oh, never mind…I already am. And that “blouse” separates the ordinaries from the real thangs. That top rocks me world.

  34. Restaurant Bruges
    0

    what she doing nice post

  35. Sajorina
    0

    Nope, NOT a shirt! She may look ridicoulous, but what a body!!!

  36. susa
    0

    My jaw dropped when I first saw this. Then I hit rewind. The character was wearing a real shirt when she walked into the store.

    Then, seeing as it is an antiques shop, stripped down somewhere on the floor.

  37. Jennifer
    0

    I came back here to comment on this because I was trying to remember what this reminded me of and then I remembered — season one, episode two of “Project Catwalk”. (Yes, I KNOW. I’m an addict of reality TV fashion shows. I need help.) There was an older designer who couldn’t seem to design without the mentor propping her up, and in the second challenge where the designers had to encompass the word “frisky”, she basically did a little red mini and a top that was basically a glorified boob veil. She screwed around with the way it was draped during the episode, but at least once draping made it look EXACTLY like this. Even better — her model had to wear it out to an industry party and be shown off to a reporter in it. Check it out here about 4:55 in: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MXtKHrR2VK0&feature=related