This isn’t a full Fug The Show, and in fact, it’s an episode that aired around Halloween, so it’s a tad old. But I accidentally deleted it from my DVR and kept forgetting to go look up the screen grabs. Be grateful for the holiday lull, if you are the type of person who enjoys being aghast, because this shirt will do it for you. This shirt. THIS SHIRT.

Meet Faye, aka Phoebe Tonkin. She is the Mischievous Witch in the coven, and the one who always wants to use their magic for mischief, and makes this face at people a lot because she’s panting sarcastic or suggestive retorts in their faces. Frankly, I don’t really remember anything else that’s happening on this show except that (stop reading if you still haven’t watched the fall finale from six weeks ago) the blonde one is apparently descended from Ultimate Evil so she’s probably going to get tickled by the nasty bug. But that’s beside the point. In this episode, the girls were shopping for Halloween costumes. And it seems like maybe they’re just regular witches having a regular old close-talking squabble about boys and parties, right? Until we saw this:

I seriously looked up at my computer in this moment and thought she was already in costume as some kind of combination between a deity and Charo. It had to be, right? She was just trying on an outfit. Right?

WRONG. SHE WENT SHOPPING IN THAT SHIRT.

If you can call that a shirt. I don’t. If a shirt has no sleeves AND no back, is it really a shirt? I call it a sling. It’s a bra cloth. A breast necklace — so, breastlace, then, I guess). Can you imagine how the actress felt when she showed up in wardrobe and they handed her a pair of pants and something she could ball up and hide inside her clenched fist? Well, her first thought was probably, “Thank God I go to the gym,” but after that I suspect she may have wondered what the hell kind of weather Chance Harbor, Washington, was having that allowed her to wear somebody’s tribal headdress as a nipple napkin. Maybe when you’re a witch you are impervious to temperatures below 85 degrees. This may explain a lot about several contestants on various seasons of The Bachelor. Oh, Secret Circle. I don’t remember your plot and sometimes I forget to watch you entirely, but if you keep this up, I may have to visit you on the regular.