Fug The Show: Ringer, episode 4


You guys, this show saves SO MUCH WARDROBE MONEY by setting entire episodes on one single day. But I promise you are going to enjoy the birthday headpiece SMG wears at the end — she starts slow, in heavy layers and sweaters, and then we get some twin-on-twin backstory, and then finally some piracy. No really. Hang in there with me.

And if you’re wondering what is actually happening on this show, spoilers are afoot in this paragraph: This week, Rich Twin’s best friend found out from FBI Agent Richard Alpert that there IS a twin (nobody knew), and THEN she lurked at exactly the right doorway and found out that Rich Twin and her husband have been banging and that Rich Twin’s baby might be his — but of course Poor Twin, who is virtuous, wants no part of their affair. At the end of the hour, when Best Friend was seething at her, Poor Twin confessed she is Poor Twin and Best Friend looked shocked. The promo made it sound like Best Friend is going to expose Poor Twin, but my prediction? Best Friend thinks she’s lying to save face and threatens to expose Rich Twin’s infidelity. And I have GOT to start using names, but… eh.

One thing this show does to hilarious effect is fake-outs, but I can’t tell if they KNOW that they’re hilarious. Case in point: The first episode ended with Poor Twin killing a dude who attacked her. The next episode began with her hiding the body under a tarp where it happened — in this loft that her best friend is renovating for her — and then the best friend walks in and goes, “OH MY GOOOOOD.” Cut to commercial. When we come back, Best Friend says, “Oh my GOOOD, I TOLD THE CONTRACTORS NOT TO BREAK DOWN THAT WALL!!!” I mean, that is some funny right there. They also do it mid-episode — the time Poor Twin thought her husband had been the one arranging the hit, he had sent her to a dark alley, where either end suddenly was blocked by Dangerous-Looking People, and then suddenly a door burst open and it was Best Friend luring her into some warehouse full of couture. (The connective tissue here is Best Friend, so I’ve decided she is nefarious.) They did it AGAIN this time, sort of: The whole ep was set at Rich Twin’s house in the Hamptons, and there were THREE DIFFERENT SCENES where a) SMG heard a noise, b) SMG crept toward the noise, c) SMG armed herself for some hellacious trouble, and d) SMG discovered it was someone she knew in the house. LOCK YOUR DOORS, people.

 

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Comments (32):

  1. Ann M.
    0

    I’ve only continued to watch this show after the first episode to read your hilarious summaries. And if you stopped calling them “rich twin” and “poor twin”, I’d have NO idea what was going on. Kudos for keeping it straight!

  2. ValCook
    0

    I did read the two previous Ringer posts but have not actually watched any episodes so… I was always reading ioan as loan (like on loan from rich twin to poor twin!) and his first name was Gruffud or some such but now I know. Hah! Made me laugh!

  3. Carrie
    0

    Ioan Gruffudd is so, so handsome and this show is so, so terrible.

  4. eee
    0

    Yay! I was hoping for this. While watching the show last night all I could think was “I can’t wait to read the Fug Girls bust on that giant sweater.”

    Though I’m sad you didn’t get a picture of the friend’s horrible silver sequin dress. It reminded me of something a gymnast would wear to a cocktail party. TERRIBLE.

  5. LoriK
    0

    I am seriously crushed that the pirate aspect of this show turned out not to be Ioan in full pirate gear. Sigh, I miss Hornblower.

  6. Gosia
    0

    But guys, show Kristoffer Polaha some love, too! Those puppy eyes!

  7. HC
    0

    I miss Hornblower too! Some serious gruffudding goes on.

  8. Leone
    0

    “HER HEAD IS WEARING AN EYEPATCH”.

    This is why I love you guys. I adore this show. It makes me laugh and I laugh even harder knowing this show isn’t supposed to be a comedy. Long live the CW!

  9. AmandaD
    0

    I agree with the Hornblower comments. What about King Arthur? The movie was an absolute atrocious mess, but Ioan did his darnedest to raise the quality and watcheableness (which is totally a word despite what spell check says) of the movie by himself with plenty of glowering and gruffudding.

  10. Regina
    0

    As long as you keep the recaps coming, I dont have to watch it! I’m sure your version is much better that the real thing!

  11. Rachel
    0

    Guys, I’m also 85% sure that Rich Twin’s Parisian underboob outfit was a jumpsuit (or involved pants in some way). Just FYI.

  12. vandalfan
    0

    I consider that you Fug Gals are providing a public service, so we don’t have to watch it ourselves.

  13. CranAppleSnapple
    0

    Those fake-outs are SO Days of Our Lives! I love that crap!

    And please don’t start using character names, I like it this way.

  14. Andrew S.
    0

    I totally spaced on the deas baby picture in ep. one. Hmm….

  15. Sajorina
    0

    I love these recaps, but mostly because I enjoy the show! I watch it and sometimes can’t believe how cheesy it can be, but I love me some Sarah Michelle Gellar, who does a very good job because I can tell which twin is which at all times! But, I think it’s interesting that even though Rich Twin has money to burn, I still like Poor Twin’s clothes and style better… Poor Twin may be guilty of “something”, but she’s totally the victim of Rich Twin’s wardrobe!

  16. Mouse
    0

    I don’t watch the show but I LOVE these recaps. Now I don’t even WANT to watch the show…these have to be better than the show itself!

  17. Trish
    0

    I started watching this due to residual Buffy love, but now I am genuinely (and sort of embarrassedly) *invested*. I need to know what rich twin is plotting, and with whom! I *especially* need to know if poor twin is having sex with her sister’s husband, since he think’s she’s rich twin and they are rejuvenating their fake marriage and having a fake baby and all.

    Also, that cardigan is ridiculous. The best dressed SMG was in that ep was when she was half-naked on the couch with her lover.

    • jj
      0

      Trish – lol – I feel exactly the same. Are they having fake sex or not? Rich Twin has got to be with drug dealer who planned to put fake Bridget on the stand? I dunno I am so confused.

  18. Sarah
    0

    I only came here for the Ioan screenshots.

  19. Beth
    0

    OMG, OMG, melon balls on tiny little peglegs. *contented sigh.* You made my lunchbreak.

  20. TonyG
    0

    Hilarious. I love some of the phrases that your brain conjures like “doily with stomach flaps” and wonder, laughing, where else could that phrase be used but on this site.

    I must say though, until I noticed the title of the last slide, I kept reading cute guy’s name as LOAN, and thinking why are there no puns.

  21. Christopher D
    0

    “It’s like a milkmaid fondue. It’s a cumulonimbus of keratin. Forecast for tomorrow is 100 percent chance of amino acid rain and fifty percent chance of piracy. ”

    Seriously Heather, you are one of the funniest writters ALIVE!

    And I will never see this show, and do not need to, as you WILL keep watching, and keep referring to everyone EXACTLY as you have been. Then you will PUBLISH a Fug The Fromage book which includes this entire series and the Kate M Lifetime thingy, and lots else, come to Vancvouver, BC on a press tour and I will buy copies which you will sign for all my good friends… OKAY?

  22. jj
    0

    Siobhan (pronounced “Ceramic Swan”) is hopefully plotting with someone new and cute as Ioan (pronounced “Loan”). There are only five men on the show and it can’t be FBI so it could be the drug dealer, since it can’t be COMPANY GUY either (who would SO be fired for paying for Chiffon (pronounced “AUTOBAHN”) hotel stay. This show is GLACIALLY slow. And the cardigans are so hideous. Thank GOD for you Fuggirls. I think your recaps are saving Buffy’s butt which we never see since they dress her like a retired dancer slash art teacher. THANK YOU!

  23. The Other Molly
    0

    This whole thing is based on a revenge plot by Rich Twin, against Poor Twin,
    who seems to have killed Formerly Also Poor Twin’s young, illegitimate son at some point,
    probably by accident.
    I don’t think Poor Twin ever really witnessed a murder.
    I think that was all set up by Rich Twin, to parlay the events we are watching into place.
    Ergo, Rich Twin is definitely working with El Murderaro.
    How else could the dead body in the loft have gone POOF?
    As for the head gear worn by Poor Twin at the birthday party, that was not a pirate eye patch.
    It was something Poor Twin stole off a megabucks baby on Fifth Avenue.
    Baby girls are the only ones who wear those headbands with the flower attached.
    I suffer through this show because I can’t stand me some Sarah Michelle Gellar.
    But I do want to know where they are going with this story.
    God help me.

  24. islandgirl1
    0

    Gruffyydding!

  25. Jael Paris
    0

    Regarding druggie step daughter, I said to my husband, “What New York socialite teen wheres a bustled olive blazer to go clubbing? She looks like an intern.”