Fug the Show: Revenge recap


So, not that much happened in this episode. There was a blessed lack of Declan and Charlotte — the whole thing was 95% flashback, and Charlotte spent the entire flashback “in the Alps with her school friends” AS ONE DOES, and Declan spent it at his grandmother’s. Obviously, this is because it’s impossible to have the actors play 12 year olds, and they didn’t want to hire other actors for the part, but it gave me hope that someday my greatest wish will be granted, and poor Charlotte will fall into a coal mine. Other things we learned include the not-surprising information that Victoria’s mother is a MEGABITCH (because she can be), and that Ashley is, like, really really REALLY really dumb.

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Comments (29):

  1. Megan
    0

    So the TV in the bar in slide 10 is showing the Russian word for… REVENGE. But I only noticed it in a screencap, not live, so this may be the most subtle thing they’ve done all season.

  2. Sara
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    I have to admit I stopped watching last week. I just cant anymore. But I do like the recaps from you guys!

    • Kristan
      0

      I think I’m about to be in that boat too, Sara.

      LOL: “Ninja School For Thoughtful Self-Drowning”!! Also, I agree it would have been better if Ashley HAD been a call girl before going to the Hamptons.

      • Maisie
        0

        How this show could go from must-watch in season 1 to unwatchable in season 2 is just a mystery. it’s as if they totally forgot (or chose to ignore) the original premise and opted instead for Alias light. I mean, WTF is with the whole idiotic Initative thing, anyway?!

  3. Louise
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    The flashback episode has convinced me once and for all that I will, to quote Ms. Taylor Swift, never ever, ever care about Jack. Like ever.

  4. Alma
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    I was happy that there was finally FINALLY some sexin going on in this episode! FINALLY

  5. Elizabeth
    0

    I usually read the show recaps during lunch, which is a bad idea because I end up either choking or spitting something from laughing too hard. I look forward to these every week!

  6. Fat Desdemona
    0

    ADRIENNE BARBEAU! I adore her. I adoooore her. The Fog, Swamp Thing and Creepshow… I can’t get enough of her. I’m happy to see she looks her age and looks hot as all hell.

    • Vandalfan
      0

      Team SWAMP THING!

    • Maisie
      0

      And in stark contrast to Adrienne Barbeau, who looks not only fabulous but HUMAN, the once-glorious Madeleine Stowe is looking creeper and creeper in a wax-doll kind of way. If her forehead gets any tighter, it’s gonna split open like a melon, which it now resembles. Yeesh.

  7. TheSpaniard
    0

    I’m an Art History major, so the second almost-sex-slave Ashley said “No one in this town wants to hire someone with an MA in Art History,” I died laughing. I just can’t ever let my relatives see this episode because they’d be all, “HAHA! PROOF!”

    Also, Jack IS boring. I really hope they don’t waste hot Aidan just so Emily can get with her “one true love” the least interesting man in the world. Does Aidan remind anyone else of some other actor? I can’t put my finger on who, but I can definitely say I’m digging it.

  8. Elena
    0

    Agreed with Alma! Finally!

    Jessica, did you watch Battlestar Galactica? (You don’t need to be a sci-fi nerd to love – it was one of the best shows ever.) One Tree Hill has a much better pedigree than, well, One Tree Hill – you could always call him a Toaster!

    • Jessica
      0

      I did, but I did not really care for it (sorry! I know this is an unpopular opinion) after about the first two or three seasons. I am not a BSG fan.

  9. Eli
    0

    Since Daniel is not believable as a CEO or a poet…what exactly would be believable as? A lacrosse player? A museum docent? A UN interpreter? I just don’t know.

    • Lizzy
      0

      A trustafarian who spends his days hanging out at the tennis/golf/yacht club and his nights partying with his friends. Every now and then he dabbles in some sort of activism via attending glitzy fundraisers.

  10. Carol
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    If Amanda saved Ashley from Russian white slavery/prostitution, how is it possible that Ashley doesn’t appear to recognize Emily/Amanda in the current day? 2006 was six years ago, but most of us would remember back that far, especially if someone saved us from doom (and gave us a roll of moolah).

    • jj
      0

      Dear Carol,

      I am too dumb to put two and two together but the criminals are coming here at 3pm to kill you. Love, Ashley Davenport who lives on 1234 Revenge Blvd…

      • Jessica
        0

        She never saw her; Ashley was locked in the bathroom crying about having to be a hooker and Emily talked to her through the door.

        • Jackie
          0

          That’s right! But but…man this is so complicated! It’s like INCEPTION! Shoot. I guess we’ll find out when Emanda hires her Art History Saved From Hookerdom!

  11. The Other Molly
    0

    Was there even texting in 2006?
    Best part of the episode?
    No FauxAmanda!!

    • nan
      0

      Sure texting was around in 2006 but I don’t think you could assume that just anyone had a text plan or used it. Maybe among a certain demographic it was more popular than the general public. That would include ninja spies and slutty out of work art historians, of course.
      Where was Sammy the dog?

  12. jj
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    THANK GOD for Adrienne Barboobs because this show was just getting tedious. Nolan stopped dressing fun. Grayson Jr’s a Rugby Poet. I almost wish Emily/Amanda would slide into the 666 Park Avenue staircase so Victoria plot could just take over. Doesn’t Jack drown, she said, hopefully? (Perhaps in his own plumbing debacle?)

  13. jj
    0

    ALSO! Didn’t Amanda’s box get shattered episodes ago?

  14. Vandalfan
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    I heartily commend your titles to the slides. “My Revenge Foot” really got me.

  15. Sarahnargle
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    Actually, Ashley Madekwe played Bambi the highclass prostitute in Secret Diary of a Call Girl (with Billie Piper) and was consistenty hialarious. She ended up married to a former client/British Peer, but didn’t give up her job. I MISS YOU BAMBI!

  16. jj
    0

    My favorite scene was the Charlie’s Angel Shoot Out in the Sex Traffickers REVENGE OF A LESSER GOD segment. LOL!

  17. Gosia Kopera
    0

    Jessica! No shirtless Aidan slide? IT’S LIKE I DON’T EVEN KNOW YOU ANYMORE.

  18. Erin
    0

    I love Revenge and it’s soapy, unnecessarily complicated story lines. Aside from the writers devising plans to keep Emily and Nolan from filming ANY scenes together, slide 9 touches on one of my biggest/only beefs with the show — Why would David Clarke investing in NolCorp mean that Grayson Global has a controlling interest in the company? As you say, if he would have invested personal money in Google during that time, those shares would transfer to his estate, NOT to the company for which he was working. I don’t get it…