Fug the Show: Pretty Little Liars, episodes 4-1 and 4-2

This show has finally outdone itself by adding into the plot A BIRD WHO KNOWS TOO MUCH. I wish it would share, because when it comes to this show, for SURE it knows more than I do. Also: a headband that turns into a beret, A Mysterious Person In A Lace Veil, and the worst funeral dress in the world.

There is some mild plot in here, and you will need to know some of this from season three: The girls think Alison is still alive; Hanna’s mom, a.k.a. Sydney from Melrose Place, was being threatened by Office Wilden (Bryce Johnson from Popular) because he thinks Hanna and her friends did something to Alison, and she decided he was going to hurt her so she ran him over with his own cop car and it recorded the crime, but he survived; Hanna and Aria dumped the car into a lake; Mona dragged it OUT of the lake despite being like four feet tall and dropped it off at Hanna’s house to torture her, and then someone else stole it and dumped it in the middle of town with SOMETHING SCARY in the trunk that turns out to be a dead pig. Which is foreshadowing the premiere, in which — spoiler — a day later Wilden turned up dead. And everyone forgets that Dead Alison DeLaurentis was like 14 or 15 when she died, max, and therefore all the things they claim she ACCOMPLISHED before her death, many of which were sexual in nature, are super disturbing. Oh, and in the second hour, Aria hooks up with her self-defense teacher, because evidently she has a real jones for people who instruct her.

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Comments (16):

  1. Kate

    I do like the show, but have serious issues with the show making the Aria-Ezra relationship seem like something we should be rooting for. So wrong.

    • GFY Heather

      Yeah, I have always hated that. He is adorable, but come on.

      • Sajorina

        It doesn’t bother me because from the beginning there was a chemistry between them and their feelings for one another developed before they found out they were teacher and student; it wasn’t like the relationship started after they met in the classroom! Plus, they genuinely love(d) and care for each other, it was never a just a torrid sexual affair!

        • ErinE

          It doesn’t bother me that much either – mostly because it’s fiction! I also met Mr. Fitz at a bar once (totally irrelevant, I know, but seemed like a good time to share it)

  2. Stefanie

    Mysterious woman in a lace veil? Days of Our Lives already did it.

    Bird on bird cannibalism? Might be a new one.

  3. Rebecca

    I’m pretty sure I read somewhere that Ashley Benson dyed her hair brown and is wearing a wig. That’s why she is wearing all those funky/awful head pieces. Tragic.

    • ErinE

      It sounds kind of familiar that she had brown hair for a while recently. She at least has extensions because her hair is shorter in real life.

  4. Vandalfan

    Does anybody else remember “Whatever Happened to Baby Jane”?

    (Go to about 5:50)

  5. Gwen Robinson

    Ezra is way hot, and I’d be going after him if he was my teacher, too. I did have a crush on my English teacher in high school, and he’s still attractive. I did NOT act on the crush. However, another teacher married a student who graduated the year before I did, and continued teaching at the school… and we all thought they were seeing each other while she was still a student.

  6. Sajorina

    “There’s a My Little Pony on my WHAT?”

    OMG, thank you so much for this… I laughed out loud and I’m seriously tempted to make that picture my desktop background! And THANK YOU for recapping my favorite show again! I miss some of the outfits because I am so distracted by the great set design that I am glad to see them here! Hanna is the premier target of FUG this season and that headband of doom will hunt my dreams!

  7. kay

    seriously, how have hanna’s truly terrible extensions not been mentioned? I can’t even deal with them

  8. Faye

    I adore this show because it is so entertaining, in the craziest sense possible. I have no clue what’s going on at this point, but I don’t think the writers do either, so it’s okay. I mean, that bird? The writers are totally in on the joke of how whacked-out the show is. At this point it wouldn’t surprise me if the bird killed Allison.

    Also, I really wish Allison was alive and looking for a job, because the amount that girl can accomplish in such a short time is nothing short of hat tip-worthy.

  9. Bee Rachael Greenberg

    Ok so this whole slideshow made me laugh until I cried. My particular favorite is

    • Bee Rachael Greenberg

      Computer took a giant crap and shut down on me. As I was saying, my particular favorite is THE BIRD WHO KNEW TOO MUCH BUT IS ALSO A CANNIBAL! I seriously sat there for an entire minute after the episode asking myself if A really fed the bird bird.

  10. JuuliaGoolia

    Hanna’s hair drove me crazy! It kept getting slightly longer as the show went on… I get that she changed her hair between seasons, but come on! where is the consistency? at least make an effort…

    Also, I love that you recap this show.. it is awesomely terrible and my home alone (because no-one will watch it with me) favourite :)

  11. understateddiva

    I was in disbelief when I saw Hanna’s superhero pants! Also, I seriously thought Ezra was actually being carted off to jail, but that would be way too plausible of a storyline for this show! Though I enjoy the cray-cray.

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