Fug the Show: Gossip Girl, Final Season, Episode 3


We need to discuss something: What happened to college? Chuck never went; I get that. Nate was at Columbia and then randomly took over the Spectator, having presumably barely even scraped together his high-school diploma and only demonstrably attended classes at Columbus for an hour. Serena was at Columbia and prattling on about protecting her educational future while nailing a professor, and then Juliet conspired to get her chucked out for said transgression, and… suddenly Serena was doing nothing again. But she’s Serena, so: seems about right. But Dan was at NYU, and then must have fled to be a Fancy Author; doesn’t Dan strike you as someone who would actually care about and/or feel that he needed his college degree? And Blair was at NYU and… did I imagine that she transferred to Columbia? But either way, she’s nowhere now, which is IN NO WAY BELIEVABLE, especially for a girl who spent all of high school obsessing about going to Yale. There is no chance Blair Waldorf would be a dropout, not even to work at her mother’s company. She would NEVER. I get that it’s the final season and the show just sort of wants to wrap everyone up, but it’s just more fuel for the argument that they should’ve pulled a One Tree Hill years ago and jumped over the college years, so at least the unrealistic things they’re doing now would involve 25-year olds, instead of 21- and 22-year olds. One Tree Hill TAUGHT US THINGS, people. Like don’t let stoned dogs with the munchies run amok in hospitals where hearts are getting transported in very flimsy coolers. Do not ignore its proud legacy.

 

 

react:
Leave a reply

Comments (18):

  1. Pouncer
    0

    It’s all SO WRETCHED. Why has this show gotten even more sucky when they know they’re ending in a few episodes? I am baffled, yet grimly determined to see it through to the end, when Nelly Yuki will surprise them all by murdering them in their beds.

  2. Tamburlaine
    0

    I don’t watch this show (and never have) but Nelly Yuki is aces! Love Blair’s red dress and her shoes, but you’d think that the show could have got an actual designer to do those dresses (which are simply terribly made, even if nicely brightly coloured).

    I read the first book of the series, and Serena was way more together and intelligent than she appears to be on the show. Likewise Dan and his dad seemed to actually get on – and I totally agree about Dan’s attitude to college.

    • Kat
      0

      Tam, don’t even TRY to compare the books and the show. I read all the books and watched the first two seasons, and the show goes TOTALLY off the rails. You should read the rest of the books though, they’re a hoot!

  3. Blair's Head Band
    0

    Nelly + Nolan FOREVER

    I mean… my twitter & blog are named Blair’s Head Band. I long for those days when Blair was flawed yet human. There is zero reality here and having scouted Series Finale spoilers online I just want to get THERE and not have to trudge through this mess til that point.

  4. Annie E
    0

    It is annoying when viewers know characters far better than the writers do. Dan would never be such a dick to both his dad and Nate, no matter how cynical he has become, on top of all the incongruities you mentioned. I thought Blair’s designs were horrendous (and she herself would never wear any of them). Also, Ivy & Rufus and Serena & Barry have weird father-daughter relationships, in which Rufus lectures Ivy for not minding her own business and Barry tells Serena he’s proud of her for being a mature adult (basically).

    What this show needs is MORE GEORGINA.

  5. Aria
    0

    The show has gotten so bad and the clothes reflect that. That fashion show was atrocious, probably good that people walked out. And Nate has got to be the stupidest person ever, sad when Dan has to explain libel laws to a freaking publisher!

    Oh, and just a minor quibble Heather – after the One Tree Hill jump, Brooke was only 22 and it was clear that her company had become this entire empire with a lifestyle magazine, etc. and she was famous enough to be on gossip websites. You have to assume then that she became famous/successful a couple of years before, which would have made her only 20 (and no college degree) which would make her equivalent of Nate, Blair and Chuck [although Brooke had Victoria to handle all the business decisions so she could focus on creative side].

    • GFY Heather
      0

      BUT, Brooke was already designing in high school, so I felt like that at least tracked.

  6. Fancy Nancy
    0

    Just when I thought GG couldn’t get any worse.. The shiz has so hit the fan. Still this being the last season and all I must plow through.

    I see no one else is writing about this, so here goes nothing: Nate and Sage? This is beyond creepy.. And to make matters worse, why does she look 12? The scenes of her in the underwear made me think I was about to get arrested to child porn. I find it hard to believe any father, esp Barry with his 7th Heaven morals and all, would be okay with it.

    I agree with Annie.. MORE Georgina ASAP!

    • Annie E
      0

      Nate and Sage have less than zero chemistry, too. They are like creepy robots.

  7. Chess
    0

    I am SO glad you mentioned Blair’s teapot. It is incredible and I want it.

  8. Suzie
    0

    The dog eating the heart reference really gets me every time! Gossip Girl has really deteriorated, and I assume that is why they have decided to end it after only 6 seasons. So far, it hasn’t gone out on a bang, which is too bad.

  9. Brooke
    0

    you know i was JUST wondering about that….I was like so Nate is at an office all day and Blair is working on a collection…WAIT aren’t they in SCHOOL?
    and whats worse, come on now who would actually give nate archibald money to run anything.

    • GFY Heather
      0

      I think it turned out to be his grandfather’s money. Although even he ought to have second thoughts.

  10. gin_in_teacups
    0

    I’ve been saying they should have skipped college and time jumped since season 3. I am pretty sure they’re just pretending that that’s what they did, and not bothering to clarify. Which makes sense for what has got to be the laziest group of TV writers currently employed. Since it’s so close to the end I’m going to stick with it, but it hurts my heart to see what this show has become.

  11. Jane
    0

    Dear Heather,
    This recap is MAGIC. Thank you for making me laugh so hard that I now require a visit to the hospital.
    Warmest regards,
    Jane

  12. SillyAnn
    +1

    I concur with Jane – thank you for the recaps! I had to stop watching GG a couple years ago, so I love this last season recap.

  13. laura
    0

    YES. Nelly Yuki with Nolan!!!! She is seriously so hot now. Dan doesn’t deserve her. Though I wouldn’t mind a Nelly Yuki sex scene ;)

  14. ad
    0

    hahahaha i love that moment of oth wit the dog hands down best thing that happened and i often wonder how everyone just randomly left college…also vanessa and jenny and eric all need to return!(eric is just being someone elses’s random brother on revenge)