“HOLA LOVERS. This telenovela about me just got so muy interesante! Before there was dumb singing, and clowns to the left of me and jokers to the right! Now there is collapsing and sweating and vomiting, and clowns to the left of me and jokers to the right! My part is Angel of Life. No, es verdad, I save a girl’s life just by standing next to her.  I would not lie to you about my powers, lovers. Lying is for vampires and Assflecks. Lopez is for TRUTH.”