Fug the Poster: The Big Wedding

This is the worst/best kind of movie poster, because it looks like a bare minimum of them were actually there at the same time and they all just got thrown together.

Topher Grace appears to be shooting at Katherine Heigl with an impotent finger gun while she beams at him with weirdly paternal pride, as if their subplot involves her adopting him for the tax benefits of having a dependent but he wants to bed her instead. Susan Sarandon looks like she’s delivering the barbaric yawp of Dead Poets Society fame because her wrist is exploding all over her white suit; Robert DeNiro looks like he was directed to act as if Robin Williams had just given him a wedgie; Robin Williams all, “Heh-heh, I gave DeNiro a wedgie”; and Diane Keaton just seems to be wondering when the check will clear because her mortgage is coming due. Amanda Seyfried and Ben Barnes are clearly thinking, “Please promise us you won’t go see this,” which leaves poor Christine Ebersole up there in the left corner, who is all, “Why the hell am I being dragged into this? My name isn’t even on the top of the damn poster.” It is a hot mess. Translation: I’ll be watching it on a plane sometime in 2014.

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Comments (31):

  1. Sandra

    Amanda Seyfried has already played a reluctant bride. She need something new to do. Sarandon and Keaton are looking damn fine. If they’ve had work done, I want the same thing. If it means performing arcane anti-aging rituals, I’ll consider it.

    • Annie E

      I don’t think she’s a reluctant bride in this one (based on the trailer), but Seyfried is undoubtedly Hollywood’s go-to Young Bride. She got married in Big Love, Mamma Mia, Les Mis, this one, and probably others I haven’t seen.

    • Esme

      The word is that these 2 are the rare aging actresses who HAVEN’T had work done.

  2. Charlotte

    I’m not sure why Amanda Seyfried is giving me dagger eyes. I didn’t make you star in this sapfest, girlfriend.

  3. Jules

    I adore Topher Grace. So I think, eh, maybe. Then I see the Heigl and I think, forget it.

  4. glee

    Isn’t this like the 4th time Robert has played a priest in a rom-com?

  5. Helen

    I’ll probably watch it on a plane at some point, too. It’s getting a 5.1 on IMDb and 29/100 on Metacritic, both of which sound about right without even seeing a clip.

    DeNiro looks good, despite the Williams-wedgie. ;-)

  6.  Corriner

    This film is getting terrible reviews. I plan to stream it on Netflix in 2015 sometime.

  7. Gine

    This seriously looks like a parody movie poster from The Onion or something.

  8. Goldfish

    At least this many cast members will make Robin tone down The Madcap.

    Please, god.

  9. maryse

    omg poor christine ebersole! she’s the only one who’s name isn’t on the poster? i don’t even know who ben barnes is and his name is on the poster. maybe christine’s agent or PR person said “dont’ get your name on the poster, it’s not even worth it.” and i still don’t like katherine heigl.

  10. Karen

    All I know is, I want Katherine Heigl’s dress.

  11. Lizzy

    This movie has a whiff of “problems that mainly occur in the fabulous lives of families in Hollywood & Manhattan,” as seen in other movies such as ‘It’s Complicated’, ‘Something’s Gotta Give’, and ‘Town & Country’. I’ll watch it if it’s on cable during a free HBO weekend.

  12. Sajorina

    I think that everybody sitting on the sofa looks gorgeous! Topher & Ben are yummy… So handsome! Katherine’s outfit is super cute! And Amanda is just sooo pretty, it hurts! I covet that wedding dress!

  13. Jessica

    Ugh. Robin Williams playing the priest, AGAIN? No, thanks.

  14. Glenn

    Notice the release date at the bottom? This movie’s been kicking around for a while. There’s been a poster up at my local multiple for a whole year.

    • LT1

      I was wondering about that–it is coming out now, right? Not in six months? Is that date from 2012?

  15. Annie S.

    Was dragged this last weekend by friends. Thank god for cheap student tickets – this is one of the worst movies I’ve ever seen. So joyless I don’t think it’s worth a plane-watch.

  16.  Louise

    I saw the trailer a few weeks ago. Ghastly. The dude in the purple tie’s expression perfectly expresses my feelings about this movie. Also, I despise Robin Williams.

  17. Erykah

    I saw a review screening of this a couple of weeks ago and it is possibly one of the worst films I have ever seen. Don’t submit yourself to this on a plane, life’s too short!

  18. Sandy

    This is the worst movie I’ve seen in 10 years. Not worth a rental, or on a plane, or anywhere. The “plot” is stupid but I could forgive that if it were funny, or sentimental, or charming, or meaningful – nada to all four. I was so surprised by the sheer badness of it (and I enjoy most movies) that I went home and looked it up on Rotten Tomatoes to make sure I hadnt lost my mind. It gets terrible reviews. Best said by someone: Katherine Heigle throws up on Deniro in this movie and he has a better time than I did…

  19. Andrew S.

    The most interesting thing about this poster is that you can hardly see how much they brownfaced Ben on it.

  20. Andrea

    Ugh, another movie where a bunch of people who should be told to shut up and go away aren’t…. nope, saving my $$$$. Everyone does look kinda pretty though.

  21. bee

    this movie should be titled “white people: the movie”

  22. Louisa

    You’re right. It does look like none of these folks are actually at the same event. But they look gorgeous and AS still makes a stunning bride. She should keep doing bridal-related stuff as long as she can because she’s perfect.

  23. toxxic

    I don’t think even Prince Caspian could persuade me to see this….

  24. Amanda

    Did they photoshop Robin Williams into this using a still from License to Wed?

  25. BrayBray

    Christine Ebersole is looking a bit “The Eyes of Tammy Faye”…