Fug the Poster: Project Runway


OH COME ON.

This poster for the new season of Project Runway has allegedly been banned here in Los Angeles for being “too sexy,” but personally, I would like to ban it for being TOO STUPID. How stupid is it? Let me count the ways:

  1. Marie Antoinette, who is, I assume, the historical figure Heidi is referencing, was JAILED AND DECAPITATED so not really the sexy awesome role model to be emulating. Maybe try Elizabeth I next time. Or, I don’t know, REALIZE THAT HISTORICAL FIGURES HAVE LITERALLY NOTHING TO DO WITH A TV SHOW WHERE DESIGNERS SPEND MOST OF THEIR TIME BITCHING AT/WITH EACH OTHER AND THEN FOISTING OFTEN HIDEOUS CREATIONS UPON US. Unless it’s Project Historical Runway where every week they have to make something historically accurate for whatever time period they’re assigned — WWII, the Dark Ages, the Crusades, disco — and then they get judged by historians. For what it’s worth, I would watch that show!
  2. UM. Why is everyone naked? ON A SHOW ABOUT CLOTHES? Is it because….they need to be clothed by the contestants? And they really really REALLY want to get dressed and that’s why they’re all, like, WORSHIPING Heidie Klummette? In the hopes that she will hand them over to the people making the possibly hideous creations because at least a hideous creation is better than having your naked ass slapped on the side of a bus?
  3. Is her armrest composed of scissors? Is this also some weird Game of Thrones reference? WHAT IS HAPPENING OVER THERE, LIFETIME?
  4. My beloved Tim Gunn’s face says it all. And what all it says is: “This is stupid. I hate you all. I can’t believe you’re making me DO THIS. Can someone get my agent on the phone so I can get out of my contract YOU GUYS I HAVE CONCERNS. CONCERNS!!”

[Photo: Lifetime/Splash News]

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Comments (110):

  1. margaret
    +2

    Ugh. And, re the scissor armrests, they are on both sides, which has her literally sitting in the crotch of the scissors…..OUCH

  2.  Nancy
    +16

    Tim is trying to “make it work.” Drinks are on me Tim, anytime, anyplace.

  3. LoriK
    +38

    I gave up on Project Runway many season ago, but I’d watch Project Historical Runway every single week.

    Also, I can’t believe they did that to Tim Gunn. That is just so very wrong. Whoever came up with this craziness is lucky Tim didn’t stab them with that giant needle.

  4. Holla
    +7

    Tim you are better than this.

    Get out before this sinking ship completely goes under.

    • Holla
      +1

      Though I hope this means, maybe they will be doing men’s ware this season, if only to shake things up a bit.

      • Jessica
        +1

        I think they are. Get ready for lots of bitching about i (from the contestants, not me).

    • Amberoni13
      0

      I used to think he was better than this. Then he started “acting” – check out his IMDB.

      • MoHub
        0

        Tim sold his soul to Bunim/Murray and Lifetime when they made him a producer—or possibly before that. And the fact that they put eyeliner on him for the photo proves it.

  5. aptlyvenus
    +6

    I adore the scissor throne, but WHY IS TIM GUNN DRESSED LIKE A WAITER WHY!

  6. Anita
    +9

    I would totally watch Project Historical Runway. It would at least save us from the dozens of uninspired “fashion forward” creations the last few seasons have delivered.

    That said, the poster is awful. The models have been Photoshopped into oblivion; they all look like they’re wearing shiny body stockings (at least the women do — they’re so smooth they barely resemble actual human bodies anymore.)

    In spite of it all, I will indeed be glued to the TV for the new season.

  7. Pat Dickson Gosnell
    +10

    It looks like Tim’s head is Photoshopped on there… and I would TOTALLY watch Project Historical Runway!

    • Art Eclectic
      +13

      Another vote for Project Historical Runway — if only so that GFY can run a whole series titled: Project Hysterical Runway.

  8. holly
    +10

    they kind of look like they are all wearing some sort of hideous bodystocking

  9. Elise
    +1

    I am sputtering. What to say about this? Luckily, Jessica’s commentary has captured it perfectly, as the Fug Girls always do. Clearly the show has long jumped the shark and now they are desperate. Desperate times call for nakedness!

  10.  hillary l.
    +33

    Ten bottles of salad dressing lost their lives to make those models shiny.

    Tim Gunn is in my prayers.

  11. Frannie
    +10

    Is it not just a little weird that the naked dudes all appear to be black, but the naked ladies all seem to be some variety of white?

    •  Billie
      +7

      And, they are all the exact shade of brunette.

      • I
        +7

        Everything about this is making me uncomfortable. Why Heidi, why.

        • Cora
          +2

          I wonder if Heidi is trying to make a point, such as: “You can put me fully dressed in a roomful of nekkid beautiful people and the attention is STILL ALL ON ME, so suck it, Seal.

    • Esme
      +1

      That’s the least “weird” thing I see here. Besides, I think all the women are the same person.

  12.  Billie
    +7

    Agree with the insane shimmer on the models’ bodies.

    And, I can’t help but wonder HOW the model on the left is comfortably sitting on that male model’s knee. I mean, what are the logistics there???

    I have concerns. Many concerns.

    • jenelope
      +2

      She’s not on his knee. She’s kneeling and her lower leg is blocking his junk. Also her left leg is apparently considerably longer than her right.

  13. Aspasia
    +4

    I’m guessing the scissors are a reference to cutting fabric, as her “scepter” is a needle. Although, Tim Gunn is also holding a needle-scepter, so is he her king? So why doesn’t have have a throne and ruffles like Louis XVI? Damn you, Fug Girls! Making me think at lunch time.

  14. Edith
    +16

    What’s with the whole “Marie Antoinette Orgy Time” theme? THAT’S NOT EVEN A THING. If you’re going to get gross, go with Catherine the Great, or Ancient Rome. Marie Antoinette did not have naked people writhing in front of her. I swear, if I had no idea what PR was about, I’d assume this was a Tila Tequila kind of competition show, where these men and women compete to bang Heidi. Which is sad and gross. So so gross. Heidi, we get it. You are hot. Seal didn’t deserve you. You can have anyone you want, so ageless and hot are you. MOVING ON….

    Also, is Tim Gunn supposed tp be holding that needle like a riding crop, i.e., is he supposed to be some kind of S & M dungeon master in this messed up scene? Also also, I can’t believe they made my brain go there, with their stupid nakedness. His face is clearly photoshopped onto someone else’s body, probably because they were afraid Tim would stab them with that giant needle rather than be subjected to this awfulness.

  15. maryse
    0

    at first i thought the naked people might be the contestants. but they all look too perfect for that.

    • Valerie
      +8

      If this was an ad for America’s Next Top model, it would still be ridiculous, but also make sense on so many more leves.

  16. Charlene
    +6

    My first thought was also, why are they naked (and incredibly shiny)?! My second: does Tim succeed in stabbing Heidi with that giant needle, because he looks like he might make a go of it.

  17. Stefanie
    +2

    Tim is so much better than this. Heidie is just looking desperate these days. Not a good look.

  18. Rowynn
    +2

    The male model right in front of Heidi has toenail polish on. I get that there are a lot of gay guys in the fashion industry, and I love that about it, but seriously? Are male pedis a thing? I am so behind the times.

    • Wade
      +2

      Ah, Rowynn, you noticed. It also looks like at least two of the male models have both fingernail and toenail polish.

      I will also take this opportunity to mention a scene (and a prop) in The Incredible Shrinking Man, (based upon a story by the recently gone Richard Matheson). Anyone else get this reference?

      • Mary
        +2

        I get it!! If a big spider comes in, Tim Gunn is ready!!

      • Rowynn
        +1

        I do now, but I wouldn’t have thought of it if you hadn’t mentioned it.

        So, I guess male mani/pedis ARE a thing, then? Huh.

  19. Jill Erwin
    +2

    Why is super-pale Heidi Klum having brown legs sticking out of her dress?

  20. Meggiemoo
    +15

    This poster is horrid. On another note, I happened upon Tim Gunn in Chicago’s O’Hare airport…he was surrounded by fans, and couldn’t have been sweeter or more gracious to everyone. I adore him!

    • Karen G
      +9

      I met him at an event once, and he was truly so gracious & sweet.

      • Jessica
        +24

        Tim Gunn is a treasure and I want only wonderfulness for him.

        • Claire1
          +5

          Agreed.
          I would watch a show that was just him….
          Where he did what he does best… take someone by the hand and lead them towards fabulous. I love when he gets called in to do some life changing show… because you can tell where his heart is.
          So much love for him!

          • Tiffany
            +8

            I would TOTALLY watch a show that was 100% Tim. Let’s make it happen!

          • Edith
            +8

            I think he HAD one, for a very short time? I know I saw this. He’d remake your wardrobe, tell you exactly what pieces you needed. He had this set of items every woman needed, that varied based on the woman – ie, every woman needs a fabulous go-to day dress. You (specific woman) would look amazing in a shift… This is where I finally realized that he’s right, every woman needs a great trench coat.

            Did I just hallucinate that show? I can’t believe it didn’t go huge.

            • julyol1972
              +3

              Edith, you did not hallucinate that one. He did have a show, I think it was called Tim Gunn’s Guide to Style back in 2007. It was so good, and I watched every episode. Unfortunately, it didn’t last very long. I thought the show would be as big as What Not To Wear, but more soothing and without the snark – however, it wasn’t to be.

              • Claire1
                +1

                I think that’s the problem…. people want the snark. :(
                Even The Biggest Loser ( which changed my life) has come to the point where I can’t watch it…and I adore Jillian and Bob

    • Meggiemoo
      +10

      I was starstruck and furiously whispering to my husband on the phone, “Tim Gunn is here! Tim Gunn is here!” He told me to go up to him and ask him for an autograph, and I was like, “I can’t! I’m not wearing anything even resembling nice enough clothes!” But Tim wouldn’t have cared.

  21. Rachel
    +1

    I couldn’t not read that last bit in Tim Gunn’s voice.

  22. Jennie
    +13

    As a professional historian, I am so on board with historical project runway, its not even funny. Someone make that show happen!!!

  23. Katie
    +10

    Can we make Project Historical Runway happen, please? I would watch the hell out of the show, for years.

  24. Karen G
    +4

    You totally nailed what Tim was thinking.

  25. ErinB
    +1

    Thank you, Fug Girls, for finding words to properly scourge this poster. When I first saw the “news article” about it this morning, I was so perplexed (and uncaffeinated) that I could only give side-eyes to my computer.

    FREE TIM GUNN!!

  26. Jennifer
    +1

    The male model has MATCHING black toe and fingernail polish. I thought it was supposed to be tacky to match your toes and finger, but maybe it’s super stylish.

    Is Tim Gunn wearing black Levi’s?

  27. Cat
    +2

    Tim Gunn’s face says it all, really. Yikes. Though Project Historical Runway sounds really interesting.

  28. MollySC
    +4

    I would totally watch Project Historical Runway.
    I want to buy TG a drink. I too, have concerns.

  29.  DJ
    0

    We get it, we get it– you don’t like Heidi. Abundantly clear and getting a bit monotonous.

    • Jessica
      +26

      Heidi herself is the least of my problems. I don’t hold her responsible for this as much as I do Lifetime.

      And actually, for the record, I DO like Heidi. I think she’s delightful on the show. I think she fails to dress herself appropriately half the time, but as a PERSON I am neutral at worst. You can like someone’s personality and also think they look cracked out half the time.

      • julyol1972
        +1

        Hi Jessica, thanks for clearing that up. For a nano second I thought your dislike for the show stemmed partly from your dislike for Heidi. I’m not going to comment on the poster cause I think my head might do a 360 turn a la the Exorcist and explode.

        I will say that I’m pretty devoted to the show, which was quite decent last season with the team format. I especially liked that the contestants got to travel to a different city in Europe for one of the challenges. So even though a lot of folks think they’ve jumped the shark etc., I’ll keep watching if only because Tim is sticking with it too, and he always makes every thing better.

  30. Sandye
    +1

    I’m just chiming in with another vote for Project Historical Runway.

    That and Heidi looks pretty good in the huge wig. Now I want to see her in big, Texas hair. Is that too much to ask for penance for what happened to dear Tim?

  31. Carol Elaine
    0

    Tim, stab Heidi with that needle and run! You are so much better than this.

  32. Leah Marie Steel
    +2

    Ugh. Poor beleaguered Tim.

    This is an atrocity. Give the man his dignity, Lifetime. Especially since he is the only one on the show who has NOT been phoning it in for the last three seasons.

  33. Vandalfan
    +4

    What possible atrocity did Tim commit to be able to blackmail him into participating in THIS?

  34. regina
    0

    I thought PR was a seemingly sophisticated programme before I saw this… now every time I watch it I’m gonna be weirded out by Heidi and Tim. Blech.

  35. Camille
    +3

    Oh poor Tim. He is such a delight and this monstrosity is just embarrassing. I love hearing him voice the character of Baileywick on Sophia the First (disney channel). It tickles me every time. But this just…ugh. The whole thing just squicks me out.

  36. Evalyn
    +2

    Are you kidding? Tim is getting a big kick out of it all! And, I suspect, so is Heidi. And, at last, Tim has a big stick for whacking the bitchy-whiney people.

    What I don’t understand is why are the naked people so shiny? Definately an “ick” factor to that.

  37. Jayne Marie Severin
    +11

    “Unless it’s Project Historical Runway where every week they have to make something historically accurate for whatever time period they’re assigned — WWII, the Dark Ages, the Crusades, disco — and then they get judged by historians.”

    I would watch the shit out of PHR. Make it so!

  38. MaryAnne
    +1

    It’s the little details that make your write-ups so awesome. I may have just done a classic spit-take when I got to “Heidie Klumette.”

  39. 1st time caller
    0

    Dude. Why is Tim wearing *denim*?

  40. Bailey
    +1

    Oh my god that’s hilarious! Who even thought that that was a good idea?

    http://www.infabulouscrisis.blogspot.ca

  41. Mary
    +1

    Those models are airbrushed into impossible perfection.
    “Let them eat cake”… and let’s see what they really look like!

  42. Tiffany
    +8

    When I saw this on the local LA news last night, they had these red “modesty” flags everywhere. It made it seem like there were boobs and balls all over the place! The reality is kind of a let down. ;)

  43. Susannah
    +12

    Emulating Marie Antionette irks me on the same level as the people who consider Romeo and Juliet the greatest love story ever. She was THIRTEEN. And they both DIED. The end.

    But this is… yes…. I have Concerns.

  44. Goldfish
    +7

    Does the sea of nude groundlings remind anyone else of that scene in All That Jazz where the Fosse character unveils the obnoxiously peppy production number that suddenly turns into something aggressively sexy, dirty, and scandalous? And then Paula Abdul later recreated in a video in the eighties? Anyone?

    •  LibraryChick
      +1

      Yes, this definitely reminds me of the video for Coldhearted. However, the video extras in Coldhearted didn’t look oiled up, at least.

      • Goldfish
        0

        Coldhearted! Yes! With that little suburban white-girl rap part in the middle! Could not think of the song.

  45. Sandra
    +1

    Those naked people would get their baby oil all over the clothes. Yuck!

  46. Leslie
    +5

    The scissor chair, so very Dead Again.

    • Goldfish
      +3

      Yes to Dead Again, but I also think Jessica may have been onto something with Game of Throne. They may have even had some line like “The Winter Collection is Coming” and then the nude model thing happened and the Marie Antoinette thing, and you know, things get lost in the shuffle. And there is, undeniable, a lot of shuffle here.

  47. justine
    +8

    I’m pretty sure the 4 women with long brown hair are all the same woman, just photographed in different poses with 2 different men (one guy looks like a repeat, too) and then photoshopped together. It’s not that they have similar hair – it’s all the SAME hair. Heidi is a master of some weird naked clone land! Eee!

    • HelenBackAgain
      +1

      Call Tatiana Maslany!

      No, wait, she’s far too classy for this.

  48. Amanda In Austin
    +1

    All those naked bodies are so SHINY! They all look like they are clad in head-to-toe pantyhose. Really super shiny pantyhose.

  49. nobody much
    +2

    this is how they try to revive a show that has way outlasted itself? hey, lets throw in a twist – you have 10 seconds to clothe 8 people. Because poorly made throwaway clothing is so much more interesting.

  50. Bella
    +3

    This is so stupid and completely disgusting. But then, so is HK.

  51. George
    +2

    What a stupid cover. Why are they all naked when it’s about a “clothing” show. Makes no sense at all to me, but what do you expect from the anything goes world of today where rating trump intelligence and good taste.

  52. Edith
    +18

    What happens when a vapid, spoiled monarch wakes up on the morning of her execution, only to find herself magically transported to Ancient Rome, where she catches the eye of the most debauched ruler of all time? Playing Milk Maid will never be the same again! Heidi Klum IS Marie Antoinette in “Let Them Eat C**k!: The Caligula & Marie Story”

  53. A. Beaverhausen
    +3

    I feel like Heidi Klum is turning into Tyra Banks and PR is turning into ANTM. Tim Gunn = Nigel. My head hurts.

  54. Joemama
    +2

    This looks like what happens at a Heidi Klum Halloween party. Frightful!

    • Joemama
      +2

      And poor, poor Tim Gunn. WE all love you, even if Lifetime clearly doesn’t.

  55. Chris P
    +2

    While we’re talking about the Iron Throne comparison: I imagine this poster is how Cersei Lannister sees herself in her alcohol-addled dreams.

    …to be fair, this is largely because I believe EVERYONE has imagined themselves with Heidi Klum’s body at one point or another (and if you haven’t, you’re lying), but there you have it.

  56. MissM
    +2

    Maybe it’s supposed to be like a reversed “The Emperor’s New Clothes”?

  57. Mallory
    +2

    re: the scissor throne, they’re also holding giant sewing needles… and I think the table next to tim is a spool. Almost a cute premise, but I preferred it with cinderella’s mice. And even THEY were clothed.

  58. Amberoni13
    +2

    I’m sorry, but as much as Tim Gunn is my spirit animal, after he whored himself out to Disney to voice the butler on Sofia the First (I have really little kids – it comes up that we watch their shows on occasion), I just can’t see him as Serious Face Authority Guy without laughing. Also, wasn’t he in a live action made for TV movie as an angel of some kind with a pretty little blond liar girl who needed to go to heaven? Oh, Tim. It’s just a weird time of your life to open yourself up to new and horribly different career paths.

    Also, the fact that I can’t really see any naked person’s face is making me 1) vaguely paranoid – I will never recognize those people if I see them somewhere else and 2) sad for them. These are actual models and nobody will recognize them as profile far left on the nekkid PR poster.

  59. Sajorina
    0

    I agree! This is one of the STUPIDEST show posters EVER! I wouldn’t be as alarmed if all the naked people weren’t there… Honestly, why add them? I think the set is interesting and the props are cool, but they made it look cartoonish with the over the top costumes! And Tim Gunn is nobody’s manservant! Actually, it’s kind of funny that it looks like Tim is about to stab Heidi in the left arm with a giant sewing needle!

  60. HelenBackAgain
    +1

    I’ve never watched this show, and I now feel SO VINDICATED.

    Although, count me in with what looks like everyone else in being totally in favor of Project Historical Runway. That, I’d watch!

    • Goldfish
      +1

      The History Channel would be finally put on the map in a serious way with Project Historical Runway. They could finally rise above the vikings, nazis, and ancient astronauts!

      • One of the Leahs
        +3

        Just piping up here that “Vikings” is really, really good!!

  61. CD
    +4

    What concerns me most is that it looks like all the naked people are, in fact, wearing bodysuits made out of those shimmery thick flesh-colored hose I had to wear for dance recitals when I was like, 3.

  62. Miss Bea Heyvin
    +2

    I don’t know this for sure, but since we live in the age of Photoshop, I’m thinking that all of this was probably shot at different times and pieced together. And the glossy nude bodies are either baby oil or computer enhanced. I am a big fan of Project Runway. I hope it continues. And I love Heidi and Tim. But I agree that this season’s promo poster is cah-cah.

  63. Goldfish
    +2

    Another development from late yesterday from toofab.com (GFY, I barely know that other fashion site, we just had coffee and nothing more).

    http://www.toofab.com/2013/07/09/heidi-klum-naked-banned-billboard-photo/

    • Goldfish
      +1

      And GFY, I barely know that other fashion blog site. We just had coffee, and that was it.

  64. Kerina Pharr
    +1

    ass cracks — modestly photoshopped OUT